Charity Ball

[fixedpointintime]

WHO: The well dressed and ready to party of Alpha Complex
WHAT: being well dressed and partying?
WHEN: daycycle 116, 1800-2200 hours

NOTES: There will be dedicated threads for the big pillars of the Ball, but feel free to make your own top level if you want to. You can use the account sweetcharity to RP as NPCs at the ball. The Game NPC journal is also been made available by Sam. Information on how to access both can be found here.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: All raffles/auctions/sign-ups/whatever will end when the daycycle is over. All basket raffles, dance raffles, and the winner of the dance contest will be decided with RNG and I will comment with the winners.

NEW! The dance auctions seem to be wrapping up on their own as they reach a natural conclusion, so we'll just use that method. If you need an NPC, let me know and I will try to find you one.

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The mingling portion of the ball lasts for about half an hour. The band playing light instrumental music that doesn't so much encourage dancing as it does give people ample opportunity to enjoy the buffet, browse the items available in the silent auction and the baskets for the raffle, and get a good eyeful of the various Specials in attendance, who they're with and what they're wearing. It'll be important later on.

On one side of the room, tucked out of the way but under a prominent sign, is a table where couples can register to be part of a dance contest with the promise of an exciting mystery prize for the winners.

Along a back wall, small round tables are lined up and showcasing items donated for a silent auction. There are a mix of actual physical items, as well as less tangible experiences, and bids are made on electronic input pads set up in front of each item, and using a citizen's ME card. Funds will be automatically deducted for each item won. Groups can bid on items together that the individuals might be otherwise unable to afford on their own. Physical items and vouchers for experiences will be delivered next daycycle.

In addition, there are a few baskets that will be raffled off during the evening. Winners need not be present to claim a raffle prize. Each basket has a theme, and tickets can be purchased at any time for five credits each using your ME card.

At 1830 hours, Stiles silently slips through the crowd, placing a lavish setee in front of the stage. Once Stiles is gone, Morgana makes her way over and sits on it. As soon as she's settled, the pre-recorded music dies down, then swells again in a new song. There is no formal announcement of the beginning of the entertainment, Jack Harkness simply crosses the dance floor, moving through people when he has to, and he and Morgana perform a choreographed waltz routine. Half way through the routine, a curtain on stage is pulled back to reveal a bandstand of actual live musicians, each wearing a suit jacket or dress of their clearance level. Yes, it's a bit of an eyesore, but they sound fantastic. Besides, people are meant to be watching Jack and Morgana.

Once the routine has got everyone's attention, Jack will activate a lapel mic and welcome the crowd to the evening's event. Someone will bring him the jacket for his suit, a suit so orange it's almost painful. He thanks Morgaga, kisses her hand, and then the band takes their cue and the music abruptly takes a turn for the upbeat. Jack encourages everyone onto the floor to learn a few line dances. Volunteers (including Stiles) will move through the crowd, encouraging people to join in as those in attendance are taught the hustle, the time warp, the YMCA, and yes, the unkillable chicken dance. Stiles will start a spirited conga line around the room while Jack sings Copacabana.

Around 1915, now that the crowd is good and energized, Jack will draw attention to the area available to sign up for the dance contest, and remind everyone that the silent auction and raffle tables will be open until the end of the evening.

He'll also be joined on the dance floor by Isabelle Lightwood, and the two will perform a tango routine in order to encourage bids for the auction prize of a private dance lesson with the pair of them. Anyone who doesn't want some one on one time with Izzy after seeing her in that dress is obviously insane. Jack will also follow this with the exciting news that the celebrity judge for the dance contest is none other than Alpha's beloved Teela O'Malley. All couples who have signed up will receive their numbers, and be asked to take the floor, giving spectators the chance to eat and to spend even more of their money on bids and raffle tickets. Couples will be eliminated by Teela, moving through the crowd, until only one remains. Their prize is an appearance on Teela's show, during Jack's opening section, on daycycle 118.

At about 2000 comes the part that quite a few specials won't enjoy. They haven't quite raised the funds he was hoping for yet, and Jack is auctioning off dances with Specials. As bidding progresses, he may attempt to persuade them to give even more of their time in an effort to drive the bidding higher. A few Specials have agreed to help out in this way ahead of time, and quite a few more will be talked into it on the spot. The rest of the evening will be peppered with Jack stopping the music to auction off a few more dances.

2100 brings a new idea from Steve that the specials aren't going to like any more than the dance auctions, the last dance raffle!. Which is really just an excuse to get the maximum number of Specials up on stage, through all of Jack and Steve's combined charisma and manipulation, for one last big fundraising push.

[[OOC: It should be noted that everyone who has helped Jack with the planning and execution of the Charity Ball, including anyone who took part in a choreographed dance routine, will not only get into the Ball for free, but will be able to come to the wrap party the next day after Teela's show, where even more real food and alcohol will be available. If you want your character to have a choreographed routine, or to otherwise contribute to the evening, you still have plenty of time to let me know.]

Formal Wear! In alphabetical order: Cisco Ramon, Jack Harkness, Lydia Martin, Natasha Romanoff, Primrose Everdeen, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Comments

Steve Rogers | OTA

[a_man_out_of_time]

If the Charity Ball had been a few days ago, Steve would probably be here feeling like everyone else — excited or happy or relaxed. But no, it's happening today, on 116, when Steve is still trying to process too many things from yesterday, including the fact that Peggy had been arrested for treason, and for a second time, even if Steve doesn’t remember the first. The Computer in her wisdom had wiped that one from his mind.

But Steve's always known how to keep it together when duty called. He’d said yes to the dance auction ahead of time, and the Very Special Forces are here to act as security. So yeah, you could say that Steve came beause it was his job, and because he intends to follow through on his promises.

During the first thirty minutes, there’s someone specific he wants to speak to about Peggy’s defense, so he spends a good amount of time searching for him. But after that, maybe it’s because of the conversation he has, or maybe because Steve’s calmed himself down, the soldier looks a little more at ease. Like if you just gave him a little push, he might actually be able to enjoy himself.

For the rest of the night, he and Bucky work in shifts, especially if one of them needs to go on stage. Sometimes Steve's clearly on the lookout for trouble, while other times he’s allowing himself to take a break. He might even dance, if you ask.

[missromanova]

Natasha is on duty, but Natasha is in her element.

Threat Assessment is practically her middle name, and whether she wants to admit it or not, wearing a nice dress with her makeup done and her hair up has her feeling more like herself than she has in weeks. It's like Moscow all over again. Or Istanbul, or Paris, or - well. The point has been made.

She's wandering through the crowd before she finally sees him, and Natasha can't help but crack a small smile when she notices Steve Rogers standing in that 'relaxed-not-so-relaxed' way that he does. If anybody deserves to at least try and enjoy himself, it's Steve. Especially after what happened. Especially after Peggy.

She steps up from behind him and she places her fingertips on the back of his shoulder, dragging them across his back to his other shoulder as she circles around him to stop in front of him with a smile. "Well well, someone cleans up nicely. And here I thought you didn't know how to wear anything more complicated than a button down."

[a_man_out_of_time]

As Natasha drags her fingertips across his back, Steve turns his body towards her, and despite how on guard he becomes, the way they rotate feels smooth and in sync. The tension that filled his shoulders evaporates though, as soon as he sees her however, and Steve’s already grinning. In this moment, truly, Natasha is a sight for sore eyes, and given how good she is at reading people, she’ll be able to see that he’s honest to God grateful to see her.

“This uniform might be the only exception.” Steve raises his eyebrows as he glances down at her dress. “You look stunning. Though I can’t say I’m surprised.”

[missromanova]

The way that Steve looks at her isn't just with familiarity, but with affection, and not the type of affection men usually show when their eyes wander her way. It's a look that she's only seen very few times before, once from Clint when he spotted her after the battle of New York. It's an affection that comes with trust, and care, and comfort, one that she's never been comfortable expression to those around her, but she tries. She tries with Clint, and she tries with Steve, because despite everything that's happened in the past and everything that they've been through, Natasha trusts Steve with every ounce of her self that she has left. It's the reason why seeing that look in his eye worries her, because it only arises when someone needs some sort of care of comfort, and that's concerning coming from Captain Rogers.

"I'd believe it. Did you tie that tie yourself? Sometimes I'm so impressed that you know how to actively be an adult." She's teasing him, of course, reaching out at the same time to straighten the same tie that she's speaking of, and she raises an eyebrow while giving a crooked smile at his compliment.

"Do you see the men I spend all my time with? If I'm going to spend a night drifting from arm to arm, I have to look the part." Another joke, but still, an avoidance of acknowledgement when it comes to her own appearance. Natasha has no problem taking compliments when it comes from strangers or people who she considers as acquaintances. When it comes from friends, though, particularly ones that she holds in high regard, she doesn't know how to accept it. She knows that she can't pretend to, which is what she's always doing with her trained, sweet little 'thank you's and coy smiles. So instead, she jokes.

"You'd be surprised what you can get when you know the right people. How are you holding up?" Her eyes flicker to his face for a second - a fleeting moment of test to read his reaction - before she looks back down at his jacket as she straightens that out as well. Peggy. Peggy is gone, and Peggy is gone because Natasha pushed her too hard. Too far, too much. She wonders if he knows.

No. If he knew, he'd hate her.

"You never struck me as the partying type."

[im_ironman]

While Tony had been avoiding Steve everyone since leaving Steve's apartment yesterday, by now he's relaxed enough thanks to the booze he has been drinking to not turn the other way at the sight of him. Admittedly, seeing Barnes at the ball had made something cold settle in the pit of his stomach for a moment, but thankfully booze has been helping him there, too, and right now Tony feels like a million bucks.

So much, actually, that when he sees that Steve is free, he all but saunters over to him. Whatever lousy mood Tony has been in the last few months seems to have disappeared, and he looks perfectly comfortable in the suit that he's wearing. His hair is arranged just the way he wants it and in come ways it feels like he's back home, at some party, just having a good time.

It's because of that good mood that Tony approaches Steve, lips quirked into a slightly impressed smirk. "So did you have the uniform custom made, or did someone actually have one of those laying around?"

[a_man_out_of_time]

It’s been an uncomfortable 36 hours for Steve, to say the least, and when it comes to their relationship — well, Steve is still wondering what it is he said to make Tony all but run out of his apartment yesterday morning. He would have dwelled on it longer too, if he hadn’t found out thirty minutes later that Peggy had been arrested for treason that morning. Maybe even the worst events have a silver lining though, because Peggy’s arrest doesn’t give Steve time to fully process how distressing it is to see always see Tony avoiding him, just like before the explosion. As if nothing had changed.

So when he sees that red suit approaching, Steve can feel himself smiling out of surprise — but there’s a wariness in the curl of his lips. Somehow, right now, Tony’s managed to make him feel simultaneously delighted and very concerned.

“A few days ago, I’d requested that my old uniform be recreated. Wasn’t sure if they could do it, to be honest.”

And good God. Tony’s suit and his hair- and the way he looks entirely like his smooth, confident self again should make Steve feel better. It really should. It certainly makes him feel something.

“Not all of us can pull off a suit like you can,” he says, raising an eyebrow and canting his head just once towards Tony’s clothes. Anything for a sense of normalcy, right? But even if Steve refuses to admit it, deep down, he has a bad feeling about this.

Still. Maybe Tony will prove that feeling wrong.

[im_ironman]

Tony doesn't notice the wariness; he's too busy noticing Steve in that uniform, and... Wait, what is Steve saying?

"No, it-- They did a good job recreating it, it looks like the real thing."

Not that he'd know about it. Really. Maybe. Listen, it's not his fault that his father collected all sorts of crap from World War II, okay?

At Steve's comment, about how not everyone can pull off a suit like him, Tony's lips twitch into an even bigger smirk. Something that looks like a blend between both being impressed and flattered at the comment, even if some part of his brain tries to remind him that it's just a comment. It doesn't mean anything.

Still, whatever. He ignores that nagging little voice down.

"Have you tried any fancy dance moves while I wasn't watching, or are you saving that for later?"

[a_man_out_of_time]

Steve's eyebrows rise skeptically for a second, wondering how Tony would know what his original uniform looked like, until he remembers that okay, yeah, Howard had seen it and probably had pictures, both of the moving and non-moving variety. And there's a whole Smithsonian exhibit dedicated to his time in WWII. Steve himself still has his old uniform displayed on a mannequin back home.

Okay, he realizes, it's not that surprising.

When Tony's smirk gets bigger, like Steve’s finally said something right for a change, he can't keep himself from grinning. Finally.

You didn't stay long enough to teach me any fancy ones is the first thing he wants to say, but Steve thinks better of it before it's too late. He's still sober after all. Soldiers can't drink on the job.

"Ahhhhh ... no. Not yet." In the middle of that sentence he glances down briefly, like he's embarrassed to admit it. Especially since Tony took the time to actually teach him.

"If I dance now, no one will have a reason to bid on the auction later," he teases, because Steve isn't ready to talk about the real reason why he's yet to step foot on the dance floor. But Tony can probably guess the real reason himself, given how nervous Steve was yesterday, and the news about Peggy that came out since then.

"You seem right in your element though. Enjoying yourself?"

[im_ironman]

There's a moment where Tony wonders if Steve is going to ask him how he knows about the uniform, especially at the way that his eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn't and at least he doesn't have to worry about what to answer to that.

Whatever could have been running through his mind disappears, though, as Steve grins and there's a moment where his own smile grows just a little more. It happens without him even noticing it and, when he does, he bites his bottom lip for a second as if to stop himself. It doesn't work, though; especially not when Steve glances down as he speaks, and there's something almost endearing about it that takes him by surprise.

"Right. Yeah, I can see that." There's a quick moment where Tony actually considers asking him if he wants to dance again - or practice? - but he has to remind himself that it's probably a bad idea. It would probably make things awkward, and considering right now this conversation doesn't have him running for the hills... Maybe he should just let it go. Besides, while Steve had seemed okay to dance with him at his apartment, would he even want to dance with him here? In public? With the booze running through his bloodstream, it's almost easy to forget about little details like that which is what prompts the temptation for the invite, but maybe he shouldn't.

No, he tells himself. He really shouldn't.

"Yeah. Yeah, this isn't that bad. Hell, maybe these things should be hosted more often. I think this is the first time I'm actually having fun at one of these things." The fact that he has booze for the first time since arriving at this hellhole has something to do with it, sure, but whatever. Minor detail.

"How about you? Are you having fun?"

[a_man_out_of_time]

There’s maybe just a few seconds when they’re not really talking except for a few short words, and instead they’re actually just kinda … smiling at each other, and Steve realizes then that he wouldn’t mind really, if they stop talking entirely and just smile at each other for a bit longer.

He really wouldn’t mind at all.

Because to be honest, ever since Steve decided to trust Tony enough to take his hand yesterday morning, things have felt- well, a little different.

Every time Steve’s had a moment to himself — at work, in the Commissary, during transport — his mind has been automatically wandering back to that morning. He’s even caught himself smiling, just a tiny bit at times, whenever he remembered Tony’s humming, or the way his voice sounded when he talked in that hushed voice. But then the auto car stops, or the report he’s asked for comes back, or he remembers that Peggy’s still being held by IntSec, and he forces himself to push those memories out of his mind.

But now that Tony’s here, right in front of him, well, Steve wants nothing more than the opportunity to look at him for a little longer. He can’t explain why, it’s just a feeling — a sudden interest in Tony that didn’t used to be there. Which is why when he’s done talking and asks Steve whether he was having fun, there’s a brief delay before Steve realizes that he’s supposed to say something.

“Oh I-“ He doesn’t want to ruin the mood, so he doesn’t answer directly. “I saw that someone’s donated a basket full of art supplies for the raffle. Maybe I’ll get lucky. They don’t have normal, wooden pencils here, but the basket has charcoal. And a better sketchbook than I can buy at the Commissary. That’s something.”

You either draw with a normal pencil where you can control the tip, or you just draw with a pen. The mechanical pencils he has to keep buying are … just … not ideal. But he doesn’t really expect Tony to be interested in his pencil-related troubles. Plus his mind isn’t totally there, it’s too busy worrying about how much eye contact is too much. Because God, Tony really looks amazing tonight. Steve’s always known that in a way. All the Avengers look unreasonably attractive, and Captain America isn’t blind. But there’s a difference between knowing and noticing, and Steve is … well, he’s sure as hell noticing right now.

[im_ironman]

Truth be told, Tony wouldn't mind either. He finds himself stealing glances at Steve, from his uniform to how he looks in general, and has anyone ever told Steve Rogers that he's entirely too distracting? It's easy to write off the warmth he feels spreading through his chest as the effects of the booze - maybe even the warmth of the arc reactor, since it's the only part of his body that actually feels warm - but it doesn't even occur to him to pin point it on Steve.

Or, rather... Tony isn't ready to accept that yet. He's not ready to accept the way that he's starting to feel. Not completely, anyway. Some part of him already knows it (it's impossible not to, considering his reaction to Steve's question at his apartment), but still. He just isn't ready to fully accept that he might be feeling more about Steve than he should. Because, god, his brain just keeps focusing on that - that he shouldn't feel this way. That Steve has already hurt him once, that he can't handle it again. He shouldn't feel anything for him. He couldn't.

Still, it doesn't change... Well, anything. The way he feels, the way his heart feels like it thumps uncomfortably against the arc reactor. He tries to ignore it, he does, but he can't help that sudden urge to go buy tickets for the basket of art supplies just so that, if he wins it by some odd reason, he can just give it to Steve. It's an urge that takes him by surprise, but he swallows it down with a smile. He doesn't look bored, or annoyed, or even like he's mentally making fun of Steve for his interest in art supplies. He looks actually interested, and he gives a nod. "Best of luck. You're a pretty well liked guy around here, maybe that'll help your odds somehow."

Without really much of a warning, he breaks the distance between them - just enough to stand closer to Steve as he reaches over to fix his tie. From this distance, Steve can probably smell the alcohol he has been drinking the last few hours, but honestly that's the last thing that Tony's even thinking about right now.

'Save me your last dance?, he would ask, if things were different, but instead he tilts his head slightly as he looks up at him. "...your tie was crooked," he explains quietly, his lips quirking upwards again.

[a_man_out_of_time]

When Tony suggests that maybe his popularity can help him win the basket somehow, Steve lets out a breathy laugh, and gives Tony a playfully skeptical look. “I appreciate the idea, but hopefully they won’t bend the rules. I wouldn’t want that, though-“ He tilts his head from side to side, weighing an idea. “… I could always go back and buy more tickets.”

He’d already bought five. Steve felt kinda guilty, honestly, because he’d be willing to bet that most people who entered the raffle probably couldn’t afford to get the whole set at sticker price. But the attendant had been so friendly and told Steve that anyone could buy as many tickets as they wanted for the basket raffles … so … he only bought five. That’s … fair right?

Still, he and Tony had never talked about his hobby before, maybe in passing but not really, and seeing Tony actually interested was … well, unexpected, and really nice, and Steve feels like he hasn’t smiled this much since a very, very long time ago. In fact, he’s basically been smiling ever since Tony came over, and it kind of feels a little wrong to be happy for so much time at once, like he's betraying Peggy's safety or something.

It's dramatic, maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that ever since getting the serum, Steve has felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. Even here in Alpha, he spends all of his days and most of his nights worrying about the Specials — like somehow he's personally responsible for all of their safety and that every attack and every injury is his fault. And because he's Steve, that kind of pressure isn’t enough to dent his determination or willpower. Instead, it forces him to compartmentalize and push forward. Steve is always pushing forward.

Yet despite all that, he was still powerless to stop the arrests. It doesn't matter how far up he climbs, or who he knows. IntSec keeps taking them, keeps questioning everyone else, and Steve has no concrete information or road to get it. What did they do? Why were they taken? Simple, basic questions that are always left unanswered.

So yeah, he feels guilty for smiling, or just … enjoying himself for ten minutes straight, even if Steve knows that his job requires him to be here, and that he can’t spend this time investigating the arrests. His options are literally, feel guilty while being here, or feel anything else while being here — and somehow, Steve still manages corral his thoughts towards the former, constantly.

All of this — the guilt included — dislocates from his mind however, when Tony moves closer. There is literally nothing in the world that could have prepared Steve, for the sight of Tony's hands reaching for his tie. Everything seems to move in slow motion, and when he feels that tug just below his neckline, an inexplicable bout of nervousness and panic swells in his chest. Is he about to- Steve can already imagine the taste of alcohol, and when he speaks, his voice is quiet. "Tony, before you pull on-"

But before he can finish the sentence, Tony's obviously not pulling. He's adjusting and moving the knot, and smoothing out the tail. Soon, he'll probably be tucking it back into Steve vest.

Of course.
He wasn’t- Why would I even think that he'd want-

It takes Steve a second to calm down from the anxiety, but he does. Tony's hands are still working, and by now, he can probably feel how warm Steve runs. The back of the tie, his shirt, the vest — everything is warm because Steve is warm.

Steve, who, can’t seem to finish sentences and can’t seem to stop looking down at Tony, as long as he’s this close.

"-I mean. You're ... thanks."

It's not that his ties are precious, or that he doesn’t want Tony to fix it. It’s just that … for Steve, pulling on his tie triggers two very striking memories — both meaningful and beautiful in their own way, even if one was maybe a mistake — and he never, ever, ever expected that Tony would want … what the people in his memories wanted.

They're- they're not like that. Tony's not like that. Tony would never want that. Even if he hums old songs, or pays attention when Steve talks … or fixes his ties. Tony’s just being nice. To a friend.

Isn’t that what Steve’s hoping for? That maybe, the next time it comes up, Tony won’t say the blatantly past tense ‘so was I’ when it comes to being his friend?

[im_ironman]

That laugh of his makes Tony's features soften, just a little, but he gives a small nod as if to silently say 'fair enough.' Still, it doesn't change that Tony finds himself hoping for Steve to get that basket anyway and, if he doesn't, let's just say there's already a portion of his brain that is planning and thinking of ways to get the man charcoals. Somehow, he'd find a way. He's Tony Stark, for god's sake; he may not know how to fix the hole in his chest, but charcoals? He'll figure out a solution. The thought is yet another thing that makes a voice in Tony's brain to yell out in alarm, as if trying to warn him that he's slipping too far down this...whatever this is, but it's easy to ignore it all over again when he sees the way that Steve smiles, and...

Nope. Nope, not going there.

Whatever self control he has left, though, seems to just evaporate when Steve speaks. His voice is so quiet and, while the room is filled with noise around them, he doesn't notice any of it. Music, voices, laughter - it's practically nonexistent for Tony, because he's far too in tune with the way that Steve speaks. The way that he mentions something about pulling, and Tony bites his bottom lip as he tries to keep himself from smirking, raising his eyebrow slightly. It's done in a curious gesture, but he would be lying if it's also not flirtatious as well, at least in some way. Because, with the mention of pulling, that is suddenly all that Tony can think about now. With the alcohol amplifying his emotions, all he wants is to do is pull Steve closer - suddenly he just wants to kiss him, and Tony's brain feels too sluggish to think past that.

Especially as he tucks his tie into his vest, even if for a moment he seems fixated on not letting go as he glances down towards Steve's lips. It's brief, but the way his eyes trail down is still there. His attention is pulled again, though, when it's suddenly impossible to miss how warm Steve feels, especially since Tony runs so cold now thanks to the reactor, and yeah, his brain is essentially short circuiting right about now.

But no, he reminds himself. He can't do this. He can't go down this path - not only because he's terrified of getting hurt, but also because Tony also doesn't think that Steve would want this. As it is, some part of him is still bracing for him to pull away, question why Tony's doing this at all. He's expecting this moment to end, even if just the thought manages to make his heart feel like it's already free falling right to his feet.

His fingers linger against Steve's chest for a little longer, before letting his hand drop. Don't do this, he tells himself. Don't do this, this will hurt, this will--

"No problem," he finally responds, his voice still quiet as he braves a small smile.

[a_man_out_of_time]

Holy h-

Make no mistake, the way that Tony’s biting his bottom lip and raising an eyebrow as he fiddles with his tie makes Steve uncomfortable, and in a way he’s felt only once before. There’s a pounding in his chest and he just swallows, because he’s lost the ability to speak. But even if he could say something, how would Steve even answer the implied question?

Sorry Tony, I thought you were gonna kiss me right then. It’s what folks normally do when they reach for my tie. My mistake.

No way in hell is Steve going to say that. Nor is he going to explain how what he did end up saying (‘Tony, before you pull on-‘) basically implies that he would have let Tony kiss him. And that’s when the thoughts start pouring in. Thoughts that Steve had never needed to directly address, because he’s never been in this situation.

He hadn’t pushed Tony away. He hadn’t stepped back. He’d seen what he thought was coming and he’d stayed. There’s no point in rationalizing it to himself now. He’d stayed. Because as soon as he thought Tony had wanted it, he’d realized he wanted it too.

And dear God. Steve is fighting himself to form complete thoughts, because it feels like there’s an entire era of people reaching for him and trying to suffocate him so that he won’t do this, won’t think this, won’t go down this path. But then he sees the way Tony’s eyes linger on his lips, and he feels that sudden tug on his heart, and the question he’d buried so deep in his mind finally comes up for air.

Since when, he asks himself, did kissing Tony Stark become something he wanted?

Since when, he demands of himself, did he begin to want something that he’d grown up being told was absolutely and unequivocally wrong? Something that, in his childhood, was declared a mental illness by law. Something that, if he had admitted at the age of 21, would have automatically deemed Steve unfit for service, even before the army recruiter saw his endless list of medical conditions.

But then he feels the pressure of Tony’s hands on his chest, tucking in the tie and smoothing it out, and suddenly, Steve is so very conscious of everything that happens next — like his body is moving without his input and all his mind can do is watch.

So he watches, as he stares at Tony, wondering when everything changed. He watches as his lungs seem to stop working for as long as Tony’s touching him, and he’s watching still when Tony drops his hand, and Steve feels like he’s just lost something precious.

It feels surreal, as he feels his forehead furrow and his lips move, and he hears the sound of his voice, whose volume is still too quiet for his own good: “Maybe later … we can try out those dance moves you taught me. See if they’re any good.”

But it’s always something small that breaks the camel’s back — or wrestles a man out of the spell he’s fallen under. It’s in this very next moment, as he’s waiting for Tony’s response, that Steve notices how Tony hasn’t stepped back, even after he was done fixing the tie, and he can’t … oh god he can’t stop looking at Tony’s lips. And just like that. It becomes too much.

He can’t do this. Hell, he can’t be here. He can’t stand this close to Tony, because if he stays like this for much longer, he knows he’s going to betray something, and Steve doesn’t even know what that something is.

“I should go,” he says, just on the border between too quickly and just quick enough to pass as normal. “Armed Forces is- We’re working security for the night. It’s about time I go swap someone out.”

And as soon as Tony makes some type of indication that yeah, okay, please go — because Steve’s too polite when it comes to this — he’ll nod and take off, searching for any member of his team he could relieve right about now.

[im_ironman]

No, Steve hadn't pulled away. He hadn't even flinched, and that's partly (mainly?) what Tony holds onto. He hadn't screwed up by doing something that could be considered so intimate. Fixing his tie, tucking it back into his vest. It's not something Tony has done for anyone that isn't Rhodey, and there's a brief moment that Tony himself can't even comprehend his own actions. How had it all gotten to this?

Whatever the answer to that question is, Tony doesn't even try to find it. Not when Steve is speaking again, and he's... Is he seriously suggesting...

It's stupid, that it's that suggestion what makes Tony feel almost hopeful, in some sort of way. Which isn't what he wants (even if he does) because he doesn't want to get hurt. He doesn't want to open himself up for this, because there's such a big part of him that is still doubtful that Steve could possibly feel...this. Any of this. Tony remembers with frighteningly clarity how Howard had reacted the night that he had discovered that his only son was fooling around with someone of the same sex. He remembers the beating he had received - hell, he still has the markings to prove it - and in a lot of ways it has shaped how Tony has carried himself to the world in terms of his sexuality. He's not shy to admit when he finds someone attractive, whether it's a man or a woman, but he has never had a public relationship with any men before. He has slept with them, he has even dated them, but publicly? No. He had been the CEO of Stark Industries, after all. He had a reputation to keep in front of his father's military buddies, and his company had the biggest weapons contract that the United States Military could draw up; how could he have even considered going public with any of it?

And now he's here, all but flirting with America's Sweetheart, the man that essentially represented the military - the man that Howard himself never shut up about, and it feels like such a hopeless thing to do. His brain is screaming how this is a disaster, this can't possibly work out. How could it? And even if Steve feels what he does, should Tony even trust him? He's trying, he has been working on trusting him again, but apparently trusting him ended up meaning...something else. Something that is making his insides twist. Something that is making it hard to breathe, especially when he notices how Steve is looking at his lips, and--

And just like that, it's over. The smile that had been playing on Tony's lips, especially at Steve's suggestion about trying out the dance moves they had practiced, falters and it feels like he has lost his balance all at once. Because for some reason he had thought this would go differently. Because, seeing Steve not move away, had made him think that maybe something else would happen, but... But this had been what he had been expecting, right? This shouldn't be a surprise.

Still, even if he had been expecting it, it still feels like someone has just punched him right in the chest. It even makes him tempted to look down, as if to check if the reactor is still working because it feels like his heart isn't working right, but he doesn't. He's being a drama queen, he can hear Howard sneering in his ear. How could he have thought any of this would--

No, he reminds himself. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, even if when he tries to nod it feels like he's imploding. It doesn't matter, even if he can't quite hide the way his eyes lose a little bit of the sparkle that he had been floating on, but he pretends to smile. As if this is okay, as if it's not a big deal.

As if this doesn't matter, even if the way it stings says otherwise.

"Yeah," he says with that fake smile that he tries to play off as the real thing, and he tucks his hands into his pockets as he steps back. It's a silent gesture, as if to remind himself that this had been stupid. Reaching out for his tie had been stupid. Thinking that this could be different was entirely idiotic, and Tony hates himself for it all over again. His voice is still quiet, but now it's mainly to hide how his throat feels as if it has closed up on him. "Have fun with that."

Without another word, he turns around and walks back into the crowd. To find a distraction, or maybe more booze; all he knows is that he needs to stop thinking. He needs to make this stop before it drowns him completely, even if it already feels as if it's too late.

[lefey]

Perhaps you could argue that sneaking up on Steve Rogers wasn't an especially sane thing to do, but was it really sneaking if they were at the same ball together?

Morgana gently pried herself away from a girl in yellow who kept looking at the feathering in her dress a little too closely and moved through the crowd towards the blonde hair and green suit that could only ever be Steve when she saw his friend leave. She had seen brief glimpses of him from the stage, but she wanted to at least say hello to him.

It had been days. It would be fine, wouldn't it?

Her courage almost failed her as she got within feet of him, but she already reached up to tap him on the shoulder.

If nothing else she was curious if he looked as dashing in his suit from the front as he did from the back.

'They should consider changing your uniform to this. Much nicer than the jumpsuits.'