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Daycycle 116 [ November 13 - November 26 ]

daycycle 116

[Nov 13 - Nov 26]

[OOC Plotting for this Daycycle can be found here.]
[The Charity Ball Entertainment post is here.]
[This DC has been extended through 11/26.]

Early Morning [0800 - 0900] — All Troubleshooters Report for Duty

No Special Troubleshooters have been selected for a mission this morning.

Morning & Afternoon [0900 - 1600] — Service Firm Positions
All Troubleshooters not assigned a mission should report to their Service Firm for their daily duties, unless specifically assigned a different shift.

Matt Murdock's office will be assigned to defend the most recent Specials accused of treason. He will not be allowed to contact the traitors directly, but he will be given the task of preparing his cases. He has 48 hours to prepare.

Jack Harkness has been selected to plan the entertainment for tonight's Charity Ball, thanks to the popularity of his performances during the Alpha Talent Show a few days ago. When he asks The Computer for help, several specials are assigned to him. Izzy Lightwood will be his event planning assistant and "Stiles" Stilinski will assist in MCing the night's event. Due to their popularity, all Specials will be approached about being auctioned off for dances in order to help raise money by Jack, Izzy and Stiles. They will also be asked if they're willing to take part in specially planned choreographed dances. Dance lessons will be provided for those that require them during the afternoon hours.

Evening [1600 - 2200] — Citizen Improvement
All Alpha citizens are encouraged to better themselves through Alpha’s wide variety of educational, entertainment and cultural opportunities offered each evening. Attending these sanctioned events are not mandatory, but is highly encouraged by The Computer. Citizens choosing not to take advantage of these opportunities, have a growing number of other options available to them in how to spend their hard earned credits and free time.

Tonight’s event will begin at 1800 at the Alpha Museum of Fine Art and will be hosted by The ~~Humanists~~ Alpha Society for the Arts. Tickets to the event are 1000cr and can be bought up until an hour before the event begins. Attendees have been given special permission to wear Old Reckoning clothing for this event only, as long as it is the same color as their clearance level. Specials may notice that many of the Alpha Citizen's outfits have gotten key parts of Old Reckoning clothing wrong, with buttons instead of sequins, for example, or men wearing ties that are much too long and go to their knees. Alpha's Very Special Forces will be present to ensure the safety of those attending.

An entire wing of the museum has been cleared as a makeshift dance floor. In an attached room there are several tables covered in white tablecloths and set with the crystal and china that usually only graces Violet citizen tables. Along the wall is a massive buffet made with real food and including an elaborate ice sculpture. There is a bar in the corner where Alpha's finest spirits are being disbursed freely. For the first hour, the focus is on the food and mingling. The music playing is calming and instrumental. There are some that steal the dancefloor for a slow spin, but the majority of the attendees seem reluctant to move away from the buffet.

And then at approximately 1900, Jack Harkness will take the stage and begin the evening's real entertainment.

Alpha Curfew Restrictions
All Alpha citizens should be in their quarters within the Wagon Wheel by 2200, unless they’ve been given permission from a GREEN or higher clearance level citizen. Sleeping Aid gas is dispelled each night in the Wagon Wheel at 2200 to assist citizens in getting a productive sleeping period.

Confession Booths
There are hundreds of confession booths available around Alpha Complex if a citizen would like to communicate directly with the computer. Please use these confession booths to report mission statuses, report treason or terrorist acts, unregistered mutants, confess your trespasses against Alpha Complex, request propaganda or speak with Your Friend, The Computer, at any time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The first questions she asks aren't the kind of questions anyone other than Katniss can answer, really. But that last one...

That last one.

Talk about a loaded question, that one in particular hits him right in the gut. He won't be helpful if he sugarcoats it or lies to her and it sounds pathetic in his head, never mind the way he thinks it'll probably sound out loud, but it isn't going to help anyone for him to pretend it isn't the truth.

What did he do to embrace this place?

"I hated my life before this place," he admits. "I hated it. I was miserable. I was alone. This place isn't great, but it's not Beacon Hills, either. Fucking petrie dish of drama and death and failure, that's where I was before here. This place has shitty food and there's no individuality, but weirdly there's some comfort in being just another face in the crowd. I miss who I really am and they took that away from me, but if I'm not who I really am then I'm not so dangerous and maybe then I'm not a threat, and maybe then, the people around me stop dropping like flies or walking away."

He gives her a little shrug. "I embraced this place because it's the lesser of two evils. This place sucks, but it's still better than home."

She's getting good at that, isn't she? Asking him the kind of questions that hit him right in the gut. It's something that she did when they discussed (or not quite discussed) that kiss. It's something she's doing now. But it's a lot easier than actually trying to think things through for herself. What if she can't let go of the past? The Computer could have made it easy. It could have gotten rid of those glitches from the very start. But it didn't. Nothing in her life could ever be so kind.

Really, she's grateful that he doesn't sugarcoat it. That he doesn't try to lie to her or try to make the truth seem better than it is. Does Derek realize how similar his story sounds to her own? The only difference is that she doesn't miss being the Girl on Fire or the Mockingjay or any of the titles that had somehow gotten assigned to her in the past couple of years. She doesn't miss being in the spotlight. Being in the spotlight had become too synonymous with getting people killed.

"I don't have a home to go back to," she mutters, frowning as she talks. There's so much about her life she doesn't want to share with anyone and yet again, she finds herself sharing with Derek. Because he gets it. Because he had opened up and shared with her. "It burned to the ground cause of me."

They could rebuild. Now that the war is over, will people go back and rebuild? Katniss has no idea. Is there any reason for her to go back anyway? It probably would be better for all of them if she didn't. If she forgot them, if she just started new here, it could be safer for everyone left behind. For Peeta, even for Gale.

"It's not just Prim I got killed," she continues, the severity of her frown increasing. It's easier to scowl than let herself cry. Derek's ridicule isn't what she's afraid of. She's afraid that the rest of Alpha will see her weak. "Panem is better off without me. The war's over so they don't need me anymore. All I do is get people killed. More reason why you shouldn't care for me."

Her response does admittedly take Derek a little off guard and that's mostly because he's not sure if she's being literal or figurative with that statement. Derek feels like he has no home to go back to, but that's because even though Beacon Hills is still there, it isn't home anymore. Even though Brooklyn is still there, that isn't home anymore, either. Derek doesn't belong anywhere anymore. He refuses to call this place home because that's an especially pathetic way to admit defeat and Derek isn't willing to do that.

The irony in the fact that she says it burned to the ground because of her is so thick in the air that he's almost choking on it. Derek's still not sure if that's literal or figurative, but for him, to some degree, that statement would be very literal. Beacon Hills hasn't been home since the Hale House burned down and that was his fault.

"Katniss, you can list off reasons I shouldn't care about you until your face turns blue, but I can't just turn it off. Do you understand that? I'm in it now and I can't just turn it off," he says, frowning. If turning off emotion like that is something Katniss can do, Derek can't decide whether he feels pity or envy toward her.

His head lowers a little more, forehead meeting hers. "We both only ever get people killed. We're both homeless because we fucked up. I'm sorry that you know how it feels. I wish that you didn't."

Metaphoric language isn't really something Katniss is good at. She's blunt and to the point, incapable of lying or saying anything but what's directly on her mind. While Katniss hadn't been there to witness the destruction of her District, she had gone back to see what little remained. Snow had purposely spared the Victor's Village to further his message. The rest though? The charred remains of her childhood and the the skeletal remains of those caught in the fire remained permanently seared in her memory. Her sister's death isn't the only thing she has nightmares about.

Her statement had been very literal. Of course, she doesn't know how literal the words can be for Derek, too.

Turning off emotion is something she wishes she can do. It's something she wishes she could do for a long time now. But no matter how hard she tries, she feels. She feels too much. Alpha Complex isn't Panem but it doesn't change how dangerous this place might be. Or how damaged she is.

"Aren't you afraid that I'll get you killed?" she whispers, not moving away when his forehead leans against her own. Her gaze meet his and she can't hide her vulnerability right now. "Because I am."

The more people she lets into her life, the more likely that eventually, one of them will die because of something she did.

His eyebrows cock with interest at her question. Is he afraid that she'll get him killed? It's a fair question in her mind, he's sure. If she feels like all she leaves in her wake is destruction, it makes sense to ask that and Derek should know. He feels like that, too.

Then, he shakes his head a little, his forehead still against hers. "I'm not afraid of anything worth letting my life stop over anymore," he whispers back. And he supposes that if he wants to prove that, he ought to make his actions match his words.

Derek leans in a little and his lips brush against Katniss's, chaste and soft and he pulls back, not much, but enough to give her space. Derek is afraid of being a failure. He's afraid of getting the people he cares about killed. He's afraid of going to sleep alone. But life goes on and Derek's gotten to the point in it that if he just keeps holding back and stunting himself from every trying to grow, he's realized that he'll never get past it. And maybe he never will, anyway, but at least he can say he tried. "I'm not afraid of you, Katniss. Stop being afraid of me."

His words go along perfectly with everything that he's been saying. That she needs to live. She needs to embrace life here in Alpha Complex - especially given what little remains of any life she could have back home. No District, no sister. Too much guilt weighing down on her, guilt for mistakes that she doubts that she'll ever be able to atone for. She needs to stop using all of that pain from her past as an excuse. No matter how hard doing that might be.

Katniss is ready to call him an idiot but Derek doesn't give her a chance. The kiss is chaste but it's still a kiss, his lips warm and soft against her own. She finds herself smiling when he pulls away. This isn't like that last kiss. That one had been the result of all the HappiTime pills and the other drug slipped in the coffee. This one is real. And her reaction, the way her heart seems to skip a beat, is real too.

Life does go on. That's the most terrifying part of all.

"I'm not afraid of you," she clarifies quietly, glancing at his lips and wondering what it might take to get him to kiss her again. And feeling just a little uncomfortable that that she's considering just taking that kiss herself. "It's that other thing. Hurting you."

He gives another subtle shake of his head. "If you hurt me, you won't be the first or the last. That's life," Derek says quietly. The tone is neutral because he's stating a fact. As far as Derek is concerned, life is little more than a collection of small victories and big disappointments. Nothing in life would feel good if people didn't also encounter pain to balance it. If one doesn't know pain, how can one truly know happiness and appreciate it?

"Stop being scared. Take the leap of faith or don't, but don't be too afraid to try if you want to try. Take it from someone who has done that too many times, you're hurting yourself more than you can ever hurt anyone else," he tells her.

She hadn't pushed him away when he'd kissed her and she still hasn't. That makes him want to try again but he hesitates, as well he thinks he should because if he doesn't, then he's taking the leap for her. Derek has made his interest loud and clear now. Pushing it any further on his own isn't fair. She has to make the decision, ultimately, whether she wants to stay the course or call it done.

So what if that's life? It doesn't excuse anything if she still winds up hurting him. Katniss doesn't even have to try. It seems that all she has to do is exist in order to hurt the people in her life. She doesn't know how much more heartache she can actually survive. If she had stayed in Panem, would she have ever found her voice again? Finding herself in Alpha Complex forced her out of that depression. It wouldn't take her much to break again.

A little more happiness in her life might not be such a bad thing. She has Prim and that's certainly brought some joy back into her life. How dangerous would it be to to let a little more in?

She places her thumb on his chin, rubbing it curiously over the scruffy hair that covers his face. Her other fingers curl underneath his jaw and she tilts his head towards hers. Kissing a boy shouldn't be so terrifying, not after all the experience she had gotten kissing Peeta over the past two years. Yet if not for the Hunger Games, Katniss would never have been so free with her kisses. She'll never be that kind of girl. She doesn't have to be to recognize what Derek's offering her right now: a chance to step forward.

Her eyes close as she finally presses her lips against his and smiles again. Her kiss is gentle and tentative, but it's real.

For a moment, Derek stands very still. Her thumb moves over his stubble and his eyes search hers even though he can already see that she's mostly looking down at his mouth and can't see it. He should take that as a sign that she's going to kiss him and, quite honestly, if she was someone else, he probably would. If Katniss was a different person, Derek would've taken that hint and pushed on so that she didn't have to be the initiator. The problem with Katniss is that she's a bit of an enigma to him and he doesn't dare make the wrong assumption, lest he break the eggshells on which he's been walking. He doesn't want to lose her. If she just wants to be friends, he can handle that, but he doesn't want her gone entirely and so Derek is especially careful with that sort of thing. When he feels the urges, or gets the inclination that she might be okay with it, he still hesitates.

But then she's kissing him and he can feel the smile against his lips. That has to be a good sign; it kind of can't be anything but. Derek draws her closer and deepens the kiss a little. It isn't hungry as it had been on coffee day at work, because he's careful to regulate that while they're inevitably being watched — and probably not just by a jealous GREEN citizen whose dance was interrupted by a RED who Derek is now kissing.

When he parts from her a moment later, Derek tilts his head against her forehead to keep her close. "Just care about me, Katniss. It's not the end of the world — for either of us — if you do. We get to start over here. Let's start over on the assumption that the consequences of the mistakes we made back home stay there and don't carry over." He pulls back just enough to look at her. "Can we try that? Just...taking it slow and testing the water and not keeping one another at an arm's length?"

His stillness doesn't slip pass Katniss. For that moment, their dancing stops and everything about him grows very still and she wonders if maybe she's doing the wrong thing. That maybe, despite the kiss he had just given her, he doesn't want this. He doesn't want her. She wouldn't blame him. But he doesn't move away as she leans in closer. She doesn't want to lose him either. She doesn't know if she just wants to be friends or if she wants something more but despite her confusion, Katniss does realize she wants this. She wants to kiss him. She wants to kiss Derek because he's Derek and it feels nice and she can't think of anything better to do in the moment.

He kisses her back and she realizes that he hadn't frozen because he doesn't want her. She's not sure why he had grown still but it's clearly not because he doesn't want her mouth on his. The kiss deepens and she eagerly embraces it. There might be people watching but Katniss doesn't care. She's spent the last two years of her life being watched. This is something nice and unexpected and she doesn't want to stop.

Katniss sighs when he rests her forehead against her own, feeling unexpected contentment from the kiss. From still being this close. She wants to kiss and dance and stay close to him without having to speak. It wouldn't be all that fair to Derek though. She nods and blushes a little when she starts to talk. "I wouldn't have done that - have kissed you - if I didn't already care. I'm not... I'm not that kind of girl."

Unless she gets drugged, apparently. But she isn't right now. She's completely sober.

The patience Derek exhibits for Katniss isn't anything special; he likes to pretend he hasn't got the patience for this thing or the other, but Derek Hale has the patience of a saint. For Katniss, he takes no issue with displaying the virtue because she's the first person he's ever met who really and truly, one hundred percent understands how he feels and what he's been through. Her own circumstances don't match exactly, but of course they don't. The feelings, however, the guilt and shame and self-loathing? Those are all exactly the same. So Derek isn't willing to just walk away or turn his back because she's taken too long to make a decision. If he can't have her, then he can at least wait to let her decide whether they can be friends, because Derek has precious few of those here and even less at home.

Derek smiles a little at her response. "I didn't think you were; that's not really what I meant. I think we both know that you're fighting it and trying to tell yourself that it isn't there when we both know that there's something. That's what I meant. Stop fighting it. Just...feel what you feel and let the chips fall where they will."

One of his hands moves to hold the side of her face, a large palm cupping her cheek and his thumb brushing affectionately over her cheek as he pulls back to look at her. He hasn't put himself out there like this in a long time. Every single time he does it, she ends up being a psychopath or, in Braeden's case, her mercenary work — which he supposes some would consider psychopathic, anyway — became far more important than he could ever be. Inevitably, Derek will always be waiting for the same to happen with Katniss, but he can revel in the moments before it, can't he? He can pretend that right now is the way things will always be, right? Innocent and curious and afraid; not malicious or hateful. He can't imagine Katniss ever turning out like Kate and Jennifer, but then...he hadn't been able to imagine Kate or Jennifer turning out the way they had, either. So for now, he's just going to hope for the best; hope that Alpha Complex and the fourth time are charms. "Can we do that...? ...can you do that...?" He knows it's asking a lot, after all.

That patience might not be special to Derek but it is special to her. Very few people in her life have paid her such patience. Peeta - up until his hijacking - and Prim had accomplished it in a way that few else could. Somehow Derek seems to match that despite not knowing her nearly as well. He knows when to push and he knows when to hold back. A lot of that might have to do with the similarities in their experiences but she thinks a lot of it also just has to do with who he is. Whatever the reason, it's something Katniss has quickly grown grateful for.

He's right when he says that there's something there. It's the first time that she's let herself realize that much and it's scary. It was easier to ignore the feeling all together. Katniss also isn't the kind of person who easily lets someone in, or lets these kind of sparks develop. Caring is just too risky.

But when his hand cups her cheek, she nuzzles it gently. She never puts herself out there like this - mostly because the one opportunity Katniss really had to do so had been in the middle of a war. This is new. Very new. But she likes the feel of his hand on her cheek and, well, the feel of Derek period. She turns her head a little to press a small kiss on the lower part of his palm and then gives a slight nod. Quietly, "I can try."

Cause losing him isn't an option. Nor is hurting Derek any more than she already has.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Daycycle 116 [ November 13 - November 26 ]

daycycle 116

[Nov 13 - Nov 26]

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