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Daycycle 112 [ October 16 - October 22 ]

daycycle 112

[Oct 16 - Oct 22]

[OOC Plotting for this Dacycle can be found here.]

Early Morning [0800 - 0900] — All Troubleshooters Report for Duty

No Special Troubleshooters have been selected for a mission this morning.

Morning & Afternoon [0900 - 1600] — Service Firm Positions
All Troubleshooters not assigned a mission should report to their Service Firm for their daily duties, unless specifically assigned a different shift.

Free Enterprise is pushing a new, adjusted street form of No Fear (Dynomorphin). The original pharmaceutical is meant for those in Ultraviolet ranks, but this form is much dirtier, cheaper and more addictive. In order to get people hooked, they've put a healthy dose in the wagon wheel's ORANGE and RED level coffee-like supplies. The drug causes a very bullet proof feeling of euphoria. Side effects include paranoia, hallucinations, increased sociability, increased sex drive, panic attacks, excited delirium - extreme agitation and violence, and the temporary loss of feeling in nerve endings (inability to feel pain). A standard dose lasts four hours. Withdrawal symptoms include nosebleeds, sweating, nausea, dehydration and blinding migraines. For those that want more of the drug, Free Enterprise will make it easily accessible.

At 1200, a squad of Grey Ops will arrive at Medical Services to escort Caitlin Snow away for suspected treason. Anyone asking for additional information will be told it's classified and warned not to continue asking questions. Approximately fifteen minutes later another squad of Grey Ops will arrive at Internal Security to lead Vision away. Anyone asking for additional information will be given the same party line.

At 1400 today, Jack Harkness will be summoned by Mind Control to the Production offices on the twenty fifth floor. There he will be offered a position in Media Production where he will assist with the Teela O'Malley show. This position will come with a clearance level promotion of ORANGE, since the talk show star doesn't associate with anyone of lower clearance level. Jack will be responsible for ramping up the excitement levels of the live audience and the personal entertainment of the star.

Evening [1600 - 2200] — Citizen Improvement
All Alpha citizens are encouraged to better themselves through Alpha’s wide variety of educational, entertainment and cultural opportunities offered each evening. Attending these sanctioned events are not mandatory, but is highly encouraged by The Computer. Citizens choosing not to take advantage of these opportunities, have a growing number of other options available to them in how to spend their hard earned credits and free time.

Tonight’s event will be at 1900 in Meeting Room G, Wagon Wheel Floor 24 and will be hosted by the Alpha Smiling Club. Join us tonight for refreshments and tips on faking it until you make it!

Alpha Curfew Restrictions
All Alpha citizens should be in their quarters within the Wagon Wheel by 2200, unless they’ve been given permission from a GREEN or higher clearance level citizen. Sleeping Aid gas is dispelled each night in the Wagon Wheel at 2200 to assist citizens in getting a productive sleeping period.

Confession Booths
There are hundreds of confession booths available around Alpha Complex if a citizen would like to communicate directly with the computer. Please use these confession booths to report mission statuses, report treason or terrorist acts, unregistered mutants, confess your trespasses against Alpha Complex, request propaganda or speak with Your Friend, The Computer, at any time.

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Eager to gain passing marks on their evaluations, Katniss hasn't exactly had the same issues with Fitness Checks as Derek. Many have given her strange looks whenever she's insisted that they dance with her to prove their fitness, but just as many seem eager to prove themselves to her. There have been a few here and there that haven't exactly taken to Katniss' style of dancing and intend try to teach her a few steps that aren't nearly as innocent as the dances of District 12.

It's sometime after she's dealt with a few of those showing more initiative, and sometime after Derek's kicked out the woman, that she abandons her post to join him. Katniss flashes him a smile tinted with mischief before reaching out to grab his hand.

"C'mon," she insists as she places that hand on her waist and takes his other hand in hers. Without waiting for much of a response or a reaction, Katniss starts a simple jig to imaginary music. "You deserve to have some fun, too."

It isn't that he and Katniss don't get along, because they do, marginally. They haven't really spent a whole lot of time together, so Derek hasn't really been able to get much of a read on her and how they'll get on in the long run. He imagines that she's facing the same struggle, but maybe not. Maybe not everyone is as overly analytical about every relationship they start no matter how shallow or deep that relationship ends up being. Maybe it's just him.

Derek starts to think that it really must be, because she's joined him at his post and that smile he sees on her face takes him back in time. Back to the times when Paige was alive; when he was young and in love and had fun. She's smiling like Paige used to before she'd drag him into the band room after school when it was abandoned and no one was there to hear or see them except the musical instruments abandoned there for being too large to carry home from school.

"What...are you doin'?" he asks, sounding half-confused and half-amused as she takes his hand and puts it on her waist. She's a little young so it's not like he's taking this as anything in the vein that the smile really reminds him of, but all the same, it takes him off guard. And then she's dancing. Okay, that separates her even further from Paige because they never danced, they just groped each other in dark corners and abandoned distilleries, but the freedom and carefree attitude she's sporting still keeps that trace in his mind.

In spite of himself, Derek laughs a little, his eyebrows lifted with interest. "So your go-to is dancing? There's no music," he points out.

When it comes down to it, they've only really known each other for a day. That's not really a lot of time. But despite being awol her first few days in Alpha Complex, Katniss had been cooperative all of the previous day. She had accepted his tips and instructions without complaint and had even remembered to thank him before she had left today. (Thank you, HappiTime pills.) By first meetings, it could have gone worse. It could have been her and Gale suspiciously eying each other over his snare. Or the way she had treated Peeta after their interview. Or so her glitches say.

She hadn't meant to take him back to another time and another girl. Really. All Katniss is capable of feeling right now is happiness and joy and wanting to extend that feeling to the people that have helped her so far. He's one of them. It's not quite owing him for anything, not like she might have owed others in the past. But she thinks that she might know what it's like to attract unwanted attention. It isn't fun. It isn't fun to be adored for reasons you yourself can't even understand.

"Dancing," she answers with another laugh, smiling at that half-confused tone in his voice. She might be young, not even eighteen yet, but age is just a number. In terms of life experience, she might as well be at least twice her age. His smile earns another laugh and grey puppy-dog eyes, silently pleading that he keep dancing with her. "If you want music, I can sing."

Another huff of a laugh escapes Derek and he shakes his head. "Wow, all right," he thinks aloud. The last thing he wants to be doing is dancing, because yeah, Derek has plenty of pent up energy right now, but the thing is...he's more than a little self-conscious when it comes to doing things that are that liberating: singing, dancing; things that are better saved, in his opinion, for intimate and private moments with someone he trusts not to poke fun at him.

But then she's giving him that look and Derek's expression drops. "Oh, come on, don't look at me like that, Katniss, that's not fair," he complains. She has no way of knowing that those sorts of expressions remind him of Paige, of Cora, of Laura, when things were good and how weak he is when it comes to shutting someone down when they're looking at him like that. It's like begging without the pathetic overtone.

Derek looks around, frowning slightly, before looking back at Katniss with his brow creased dubiously. "...seriously? You…really?"

It's pretty clear by his tone that he's lost most of the willpower in him to actually outright tell her no, but it's his last ditch effort to get her to change her mind on her own.

Most of the time, Katniss tends to be extremely self-conscious. She doesn't consider herself all that pretty, or all that smart or very nice. She doubts her voice is nearly as good as people claim. There are a lot of things she tends to be uncomfortable about. But when it comes to dancing, even without the influence of the drugs in her system, she doesn't hesitate. Dancing comes naturally. It's like that for most people from District 12. They don't have much in the way of wealth or freedom, but they could dance.

Although he tries to protest, Katniss can tell that it's completely half-hearted. She keeps the puppy dog eyes going a little longer, enjoying his reaction. Now she's teasing him more than actually begging. He's not nearly as intimidating as some of their clients say she is. Then again, Katniss has never been easily intimidated.

"Yeah, really," she says, smiling sweetly at him. "You keep doubting me."

Albeit with good reason. Not that Katniss realizes that right now. Since he's not really fighting her, she picks up the pace a little before she starts to sing a song that she'll definitely regret later.

Something tells Derek that Katniss is onto him because she keeps that expression on her face a little longer like she's trying to cement the effect on him before letting it fall away. Admittedly, he's a little jealous that she's feeling so liberated.

"Well, I don't really know you very well, seeing as how you've been playing hooky since day one," he points out. Derek opens his mouth to say something else; to make some other argument as to why they really shouldn't be doing this right now. Not that there's anything wrong with dancing, but they really should be working and—

The lyrics actually process and his eyes widen, eyebrows lifting higher still. Derek looks around as if expecting to see Stiles, Lydia, and Allison standing around somewhere watching with amusement; like they've talked this poor girl into it, but they don't seem to be anywhere in sight.

"What is happening right now?" he asks himself more than Katniss herself. She's not going to stop unless he gives in, is she? "Hey. Hey, hey, hey, look; listen," he says, drawing her a little closer and moves his hand up from her waist and settles it on her upper back. The sad thing is that Derek actually knows what he's doing. He hates dancing, but his mother made he and Laura learn for a family wedding when he'd been ten. He still remembers. "Slow down a little," he tells her, guiding her into something of a sloppy foxtrot. "If you're going to make me do it, at least let's do something I know." He's not great, but he's not bad, either.

Katniss has never been very good at going along with suggestions given to her by others, even if those suggestions might prove to be life-saving. The desire to dance, and more specifically to dance with Derek, is entirely her own. The song she picks is silly and a little more bawdy than something she might otherwise sing but it has the right tempo for the dance.

Or it did.

She stops singing as soon as he draws her in closer. She just about stops dancing all together as well, her steps much slower and lacking the easy rhythm from before. He's close. He's very close. She can feel the heat of his hand against her back and she knows how easy it would be to move in just a step more and press her body against his. This morning's strangeness aside, this is the closest that she's been to another human being in a long time - specifically one she knows and sort of likes. It throws her off guard. And when she looks up at him, the puppy eyes are long gone. In there place is a mix of confusion and curiosity and a need to be held by someone to send all the nightmares away.

Because that's what she's remembering right now. She's remembering how being held kept the nightmares at bay and how much she likes this. She likes the way Derek holds her now. Katniss smiles, moving her hand up his shoulder. She lets him lead; the steps are easy to pick up and follow in time.

"You can dance," she points out, a hint of cheekiness in her voice. "You're not that bad, either."

The way that Katniss's expression changes when she looks up at him gives Derek's stomach the involuntarily little flutter he always associates with attraction. She's young; he tells herself that she's too young and that he's not attracted to her, because he doesn't feel entirely himself today and maybe that's exacerbating things. Maybe it's just been too goddamned long since he's had a woman this close to him and he remembers the last several times ended really badly for him, so he's distancing himself emotionally; mentally, by trying to tell himself that age matters a lot more than he would normally actually think it does.

His Adam's apple bobs in his throat when he swallows thickly because he can't help thinking that this is kind of a nice feeling and he forgot how much he liked having someone close. Derek tells himself that it's just because he's perpetually lonely; it doesn't have anything to do with impromptu dancing or Katniss or whatever is going on with him today. If he keeps an arm's length between himself and the women here, he'll be safe. He won't be hunted or used or abandoned if he doesn't let them get close enough to hurt him.

"I can dance," he agrees. "I'm all right, I guess; a little rusty. But just because I can doesn't mean I like to," he points out, but he doesn't actually stop. He will. He will in a minute. Just...in a minute.

She's not that young. Okay, maybe she is, being a few months shy of her eighteenth birthday. But she doesn't see herself as that young. She hasn't seen herself as a child since her father died when she was eleven. All of the responsibilities she had inherited had caused her to grow up overnight. Then came participation in the Hunger Games and in the uprising. She's much older than her years. It's just difficult to tell given all the drugs currently affecting her.

Age doesn't mean much. But she understands the need to distance. Or she will as soon as the HappiTime pills and No Fear leaves her system. Then she'll remember. She'll remember how many people she's gotten killed, especially the people that she loves. She should never allow herself to get attached to anyone else. Never. It's safer to be alone. It shouldn't be but it is.

Katniss laughs lightly, nearly giggling at his response. Though the dance he teaches her seems to put space between them, she doesn't want that space. Keeping each other at arm's length can come later. Being in his embrace feels too good. Her eyes close as she rests her head against his shoulder while they dance. This is different from the way she's danced with anyone else today. This isn't a trust she extends easily. "You're still dancing," she points out, sighing happily. "Don't stop?"

It takes an effort not to stiffen when he feels her close the space he's kept between them to rest her head on his shoulder. It isn't anything personal; it isn't that he has a problem with Katniss doing it so much as he's uncomfortable with the idea of anyone doing it. Derek is already missing a piece of himself. He doesn't need to lose more after getting attached to someone who will inevitably leave him. Or hurt him. Or worse, hurt other people; people he cares about even if he pretends he doesn't, sometimes.

Everything about this somehow manages to strike a perfect balance between comforting and terrifying; anxiety-inducing and relaxing. How it manages to do so, Derek doesn't know and in retrospect, he still won't be able to figure it out, because unless explicitly told, he's not going to make the connection between the coffee and the way he's feeling right now.

Derek keeps moving, but he's looking around. He's looking to see if they're being watched or whether they're going to get in trouble for not working, because that's about the last thing either of them needs right now, is to get hauled off for something as trivial as taking a little break for mental health. "We have to stop sometime...we still have to work," he points out gently and he's careful to keep his tone apologetic because he sort of genuinely doesn't want to be the bad guy here. As scary as the prospect of forming an attachment to a new person is, this does, admittedly, feel kind of nice.

He might stiffen but he doesn't push her away. He doesn't even stop dancing. Most of Derek's fears are the fears that Katniss has too, fears currently set aside by the combination of drugs. Letting people in, forming any new attachments is a dangerous thing. It's something that almost always hurts you in the end. But unlike Derek, Katniss is alone here. And though it would be easy to convince herself that everyone is better off without knowing her, there's only so long someone used to even the smallest amount of company can be a loner.

She sighs at his words, noting the apologetic turn and knowing full well that he's right. Sooner or later, they will have to get back to work. Although their clients are waiting patiently (enjoying the show, really), the Computer probably won't be too fond of them taking the entire work period off. It's not any option for them. Not really.

"You're right," she says, lifting her head to smile softly at Derek. She cups his cheek gently and then, without quite realizing what she's doing, lifts her head up to press her lips against his. She's being so free with her kisses today, so much more than normal, but she doesn't care. It feels good. And if anyone in Alpha Complex deserves her kisses, it's Derek. Dancing with him is the safest she's felt in a long time.

He can't decide whether he feels more relieved or disappointed when she agrees that he's right; they need to work. He returns her smile for a second before she's moved a hand to his cheek and before Derek can even process and set aside his normal opinion that face-touching equals intimacy because right now nothing is normal, she's kissing him.

Derek has two choices. He can keep passively fighting, but who is he helping if he does that? The logical part of him screams inside to pull away, but the caffeinated part of himself is having none of it.

Adrenaline and caffeine and loneliness finally assuaged all work together against Derek. This is neither the time nor the place; Katniss is probably not the woman for him to be indulging with and he should be pulling away. In spite of all of that, he goes into autopilot instead and Derek kisses her back.

She's been soft and gentle, but she's flipped a switch, now. Derek's always been very good at pretending he prefers solitude, but he craves companionship just as much as anyone else. He's so starved for affection months after Braeden left; weeks since getting here; days since he made the mistake of letting Felicity get into his head. Derek's not soft and gentle when he returns it. He's not rough, but intense, pouring all of that desire to be wanted and need to be needed into Katniss's kiss because she's there.

It's when he shifts a little to scoop her off the ground and into his arms the way he'd done a hundred times with Kate before she'd revealed her true colors or Braeden before she left; it's when he realizes that even though she's not heavy, she is heavy because he doesn't have his strength — he isn't himself in this place. This isn't like him either — that Derek snaps out of it and puts her back down. He breaks the kiss, looking caught between needy for more and shocked at his own behavior.

He steps back abruptly. "Work," he reminds her. He tries not to think about the way he feels a whole lot colder all of a sudden, because he knows that it's all in his head. "We gotta get back to work."

Hunger is something Katniss' glitches say that she's familiar with. Hunger is something that she's become familiar with since finding herself in the Alpha Complex, not entirely having the willpower to eat most days. When Derek returns her kiss, she finds herself confronted by another kind of hunger all together. She thinks that she's felt this kind of hunger before but it's been rare. And it's never hit her so all at once.

Her kiss had been gentle. The kiss she gets in return is anything but. It takes her by surprise at first. The intense desperateness Derek manages to communicate in the way he devours her is so familiar. Those are desires she knows all so well. Wanting to be wanted, wanting to be love, wanting to know that she might actually be worth something to someone. She can barely remember a time where she's been kissed so thoroughly. She certainly can't remember a time where she's been lifted off the ground in the process.

Her arms wrap tightly around his neck when he scoops her into his arms. Katniss laughs against his mouth but the surprised delight isn't enough to get her to stop kissing him. Even the need for breath isn't enough to get her to stop. She feels so alive being kissed like this. It's like live wire and she thinks that she can feel his kiss down through her toes. She never wants this kiss to stop. Katniss wants to keep kissing him, keep teasing his tongue with hers. She wants to stay close to him and never move.

And then it stops. He breaks the kiss and places her back on the ground and she's alone. She's alone and she hates it. Frowning, Katniss wraps her arms around her chest as if that would make her feel less alone. Quietly, and a little sadly, she asks, "Do we have to?"

The physical reaction Katniss has is very similar to the emotional one which is overtaking Derek in that moment when they separate and it's hard as hell to see that look on her face, knowing that he put it there; hard as hell seeing the way she closes her body language off to ease the void he's created, but as he pants to catch his breath, he's nodding.

Possibly, the worst part is that he doesn't want to stop, but he knows himself too well and he knows that something isn't right. It isn't like him to pour himself into another person like that anymore. He's been burned too many times before, and to fall back into bad habits with complete and total abandon — in plain sight of anyone who happens to be passing by or waiting in line for a consultation — is...off.

"We have to. Yeah, we have to," he says and his expression is pained at that, because again...he doesn't really want to go back to work now. "I feel weird. This is weird, this isn't...we can't do this here. Not right now." Which sounds a lot more leading than he actually means for it to, but the right words don't seem to want to come out. They need to wait. They need to wait until they both feel like themselves again, he thinks, because if something's wrong with him and something might also be wrong with her, then what about this is actually consensual? That makes him think of Peter and what his uncle had done to Lydia and if there's one person Derek never wants to emulate, it's Peter. "I can't. I...we can't. We can't...do this," he insists. The words feel equal parts right and wrong on his tongue, but he spits them out anyway. "I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry...I'm sorry," he breathes, scrubbing his face with one hand.

Her sense of self, and her self control, are usually so much better than this. If it hadn't been for her desire to be anyone else, to forget herself and the glitches she had been given, Katniss might realize how out of character she's acting. She might realize that Derek isn't the only one who feels weird; she does too. Katniss never lives in the moment, not like she is right now. It's difficult to see past the next minute. Or to think about why she's acting so strangely.

Derek's words sting. On some level, Katniss realizes that he's trying to be as kind as he can in the situation. He isn't trying to hurt her. But it hurts nonetheless. Being rejected hurts. She's unaware that he's really trying to look out for her and make sure that neither of them do something they'd regret. And he's right. He's right about all of this. Tomorrow morning, Katniss would hate herself even more than she already does if that kiss led to more. She just can't see any of that in her addled state.

"We can't do this," she repeats slowly, trying to make sense of this. "You're sorry." Katniss's frown deepens as the HappiTime still in her system tries to pus her past the pain she's currently feeling. She shakes her head. "Did I do so something wrong?"

Because that, some nagging thought in her brain says, would make sense. Katniss Everdeen rarely does anything right.

For all the times he's wanted his werewolf senses, this is one point where he finds himself thinking how grateful he is that he doesn't have them. Seeing that upset on her face is bad enough, but to have been able to smell that shift in her scent would've made this so much worse. It's already hard enough.

Her question, though, feels like a punch in the gut. Derek's eyes widen a little and he shakes his head. "No! No, you didn't do anything wrong, Katniss," he promises, "I just...there's something wrong with me right now. I don't feel right, and I don't know, you seem different too, now that I think about it, and I just think doing this right here, right now, is a really bad idea. For both of us. It's not...no, you didn't do anything wrong," he says, looking apologetic all over again.

It's this place, he thinks to himself miserably for the millionth time since his arrival. Everything about this place is just wrong for him. It's hard for it not to be when he's missing a very fundamental piece of himself. "Trust me, you don't want me anyway," he says, frowning. "I'm a mess."

Ain't that the truth?

Really, it's probably not all that surprising that her question is like a punch in the gut. Even when she doesn't mean to - no, especially when she doesn't mean to - she finds herself hurting other people. So the glitches say. Of course she'd wind up hurting him when all Derek's been is nice. It's what she's good at. It's what she's good at if the odds are in her favor anyway. If they're not, it's worse; then she winds up causing their death.

Stray fragments of thought flicker through her head at his words, somehow piercing the fog in her brain created by the HappiTime and No Fear drugs. Is there something wrong with her? Is this a bad idea? More so: he wouldn't want her. No one in their right mind should want her. And not just because she manages to hurt them.

Katniss Everdeen is not a good person. Katniss Everdeen isn't very nice. Katniss Everdeen is selfish. Katniss Everdeen is a murderer.

She frowns. "I'm a mess, too."

Derek's brow creases with sympathy. He wishes that he knew her better. He wishes that he would have a leg to stand on if he tried to refute her claim to make her feel better, but without knowing her at all, he can't. He'll sound like he's patronizing her and he knows it; that'll only make things worse. Derek's stomach knots with the very idea of making this worse than he already has.

Tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, Derek shakes his head a little. "Katniss, I'm honestly starting to wonder if the whole reason any of the Specials are here is because we're all a mess," he tells her, hoping that it'll make her feel a little better, because he really has started to wonder lately.

"Listen, can we...like revisit this when I don't feel so...off?" he asks. "I'd really feel better if we didn't just leave it hanging, but I would also feel better if I felt like myself when we discussed, you know what I mean?"

She notices the look of sympathy and ignores it. What she wants is to forget again. She wants to let those feelings of euphoria come back and drown out her feelings of self-doubt and self-loathing. Then the worst feeling she had experienced had been Derek's rejection. Right now it feels like everything is so much worse.

Forget, she wills herself. Forget, forget, forget. Let the memories that slipped through go back into hiding again. She doesn't want to hear that there might be other people, other than the two of them, that are messes as well. It doesn't change her past. It doesn't change what she did.

Katniss doesn't want to talk anymore. Derek had been right in the first place; they should get back to work. Then none of these thoughts would have made their way through. So she nods in response even though she doesn't exactly know what he means. It's better than admitting that though. "Okay."

To say that Derek feels terrible would be a gross understatement. He does, but he feels really terrible. Mostly because he can tell that she's perceiving it as him rejecting her when really, he's just putting the brakes on something he has a feeling she's going to regret later. And while he can see why it looks like rejection to her, on his end, it isn't anything against her at all.

When all she's got in response is okay, Derek feels his stomach twist again and his heart sink, because he's hurt her maybe more than she's hurt herself. She doesn't realize it yet, but he imagines when she snaps out of it, she'll be humiliated at herself if only because Derek's not exactly a catch, if she's going to be making out with random people.

He did the right thing. Right?

"Okay," he parrots back and takes a few steps further back from her. "Okay. We'll catch up tomorrow, then."

His eyes shift to the line that has formed near their respective work stations. Giving Katniss one more fleeting, apologetic look, he beckons his next client forward with a booming, "Next!"

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Daycycle 112 [ October 16 - October 22 ]

daycycle 112

[Oct 16 - Oct 22]

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