![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
computerized) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
alphalogs2016-08-28 08:40 am
- [daycycle 105],
- adam parrish [the raven cycle],
- barry allen [the flash],
- buffy summers [btvs],
- derek hale [teen wolf],
- felicity smoak [arrow],
- isabelle lightwood [shadowhunters],
- morgana lefey [merlin],
- natasha romanoff [mcu],
- oliver queen [arrow],
- ronan lynch [the raven cycle],
- steve rogers [mcu],
- stiles stilinski [teen wolf],
- ~inactive: caitlin snow [the flash]
Daycycle 105 [ August 28 - September 03]
daycycle 105
[Aug 28 - Sept 3]
Early Morning [0800 - 0900] — All Troubleshooters Report for Duty
Felicity Smoak and Natasha Romanoff, have been selected for today’s mission. Details are below:
‘In order to help us improve our combat simulators, you will need to run through any combat situation you encounter at least three times. On the second pass through, engage the combat at a greater range than originally. On the third pass through, attempt it at a much closer range. You will provide tactical notes to our staff afterwards. If the simulators catch fire, or fail to respond to override commands... note that too. The eggheads were supposed to have fixed that.’
Please debrief the computer on the status of your mission by the end of the Daycycle here.
Morning & Afternoon [0900 - 1600] — Service Firm Positions
All Troubleshooters not assigned a mission should report to their Service Firm for their daily duties, unless specifically assigned a different shift.
Evening [1600 - 2200] — Citizen Improvement
All Alpha citizens are encouraged to better themselves through Alpha’s wide variety of educational, entertainment and cultural opportunities offered each evening. Attending these sanctioned events are not mandatory, but is highly encouraged by The Computer. Citizens choosing not to take advantage of these opportunities, have a growing number of other options available to them in how to spend their hard earned credits and free time.
Tonight’s event will be at 1700 in Hangar 15, Armed Forces Sector and will be hosted by the Alpha Complex Dogeball Association. Join us for a game of Alpha Dodgeball! All clearance levels above INFRARED welcome.
Alpha Curfew Restrictions
All Alpha citizens should be in their quarters within the Wagon Wheel by 2200, unless they’ve been given permission from a GREEN or higher clearance level citizen. Sleeping Aid gas is dispelled each night in the Wagon Wheel at 2200 to assist citizens in getting a productive sleeping period.
Confession Booths
There are hundreds of confession booths available around Alpha Complex if a citizen would like to communicate directly with the computer. Please use these confession booths to report mission statuses, report treason or terrorist acts, unregistered mutants, confess your trespasses against Alpha Complex, request propaganda or speak with Your Friend, The Computer, at any time.
Evening | For Steve
It was the way he showed up at her rooms door right away when she messaged him, the gentle way he looked at her and offered her his arm. Perhaps, even, it was the easy silence between them as they made their way from her orange dorm to his quarters in green, her arm looped easily around his like this was something they did every day.
It wasn't, she hadn't even had time to speak to him for a few days and by the time his door closed she was biting her lip as the last few days ran loops around her mind. There was the "mutant" and blue, and the all too familliar tingling she had felt run through her veins like a rush of fire just waiting to explode. The nightmares that had followed that were somehow even less sensible than what she used to dream in Camelot, just flashes of red and silver and a sense of violence and horror...
And then the girl on the device, with her absolute certainty that a, Morgana was lying about who she was and b, if she wasn't then they were always wrong, fake, messed up. Clones. Whatever that meant.
Morgana took a deep breath as she let go of him to lean in the arm of his sofa, lip quivering slightly even as she thought about it. She was safe here, unlike in Hydroponics or her dorm or anywhere else, really, aside from maybe in the hide out with Root but she still tried to cover it up.
'I've missed you, are all your new admirers stealing you away?' she asked, trying to joke but her tone and eyes not quite getting there.
no subject
When he showed up at her door, he doesn't ask what's wrong. Whatever it was, it could wait until they were in his room and Morgana finally has a moment of privacy. So instead, Steve smiled gently, as he offered his arm and escorted her up to GREEN.
She's seen his room two days ago when she and Lydia were here making food for Dick's surprise party. It was more space than any of the lower ranks got to themselves, but Steve had barely made it his own. Standard furniture, sparse belongings. If she really investigated, there was a robot he'd powered down and put in the closet.
"It's been a real ... learning experience," he said, smiling as he shook his head. "Please, sit." Steve made his way to the kitchen, getting them both a glass of water and setting it down on the coffee table in front of the couch. When they're both seated, Steve folds his hands together and rests his arms on his knees. When he looks at her, there's a hint of concern in his eyes. "Hey, tell me what's going on."
no subject
Even the way he walked, though if you put them side by side their stride would surely differ, reminded her of Gwen just the same. She sat, automatically going to smooth her skirts under her and only finding the rough linen of her jumpsuit. Morgana felt stiff and straight even against the relative comfort of the sofa, which was surely nicer than her bed and yet she sat almost as if she were sitting on nails as she looked to Steve and listened to the soothing timbre of his voice.
Twisting her hands in her lap, she shrugged.
'Bit of this... bit of that.' she began, wondering where she was supposed to really start with any of it. How was she supposed to twist all her feelings into simply explainable sentences without letting them overcome her? Perhaps the only thing Arthur wasn't wrong about when he tormented and dismissed her was the fact she was too emotional and Alpha Complex was no place for that.
'I.' she began again, only to pause so she could take a deep breath. 'Do you remember when I spoke of home, I must have told you about my dreams I used to have?' that was an easier topic to begin on than some new girl basically accused me of lying and not existing all at once. Admittedly, this topic was closer to treason than the latter, but what was a little treason between friends?
'I think they're coming back.'
no subject
But when she refers to her dreams, a bit of tension dissipates from his shoulders. For a moment, he’d thought Morgana had been targeted by A.S.S., the anti-Special Squad, or whatever they called themselves. It’s been a long time since they popped their heads up, but Steve was always on alert. He doesn’t want another Special to get kidnapped and beaten.
“Did you have a dream last night?”
( ooc: I don’t know anything about her dreams but if it makes sense for them to have talked about it, just tell me some stuff ooc and I had make sure Steve has the correct memories. )
no subject
The computer was just like Uther, and like Uther, she had found ways to be herself in spite of it's presence.
'I think? Sort of... I mean you could ask Barry I guess, I could wake the dead with my screams when I do have my dreams, I doubt the sleeping gas can compete with that.' if only it were so simple as just dreams. She doubted even the computer would care about those. She shook her head, hands still fidgetting in her lap as she turned to look at Steve, determined to spit it out and not stutter like a frightened child.
Just because she had barely been able to tell anyone at home didn't mean it had to be this way here, right? Right?!
'You remember those assignments we got on 102? To look after those "mutants" that were found out?' she asked, then hurried along, not giving him time to answer. 'I had this woman, a shapeshifter, she was a bit of a cow but I didn't think much of it at the time. But ever since that assignment I've felt, well, like I did at home. Not fully, but... it's like when you're not paying attention and someone brushes past you in the hall, you feel it but it's not like fully running into them. Like standing a little close to the fire, or. I don't know.' she swallowed, her nails digging into her palms as she tried to steady herself. 'A small touch, but not like being slapped.'
God, it would have been easier to tell him just about anything else, and not even because she was afraid of Steve, of all the people in here she had met he was one of the few she trusted without question, she wasn't even sure that torture would cause him to turn her in. No, it wasn't that.
It was the way people looked at her when they learned of her "affliction".
Gaius had watched her all her life like she was some ailing babe and madwoman all in one.
Merlin wouldn't even say the word "magic" to her even when she asked him.
Arthur handled her like she was a sick, delicate flower who didn't know the sky from the sea.
Even Gwen, dear, sweet, Guinevere. She looked at Morgana sometimes and Morgana had been able to see the pity, the sorrow, the disappointment that her mistress clearly wasn't "all there" in her mind.
Just thinking about their reactions and how Steve might look at her caused tears to well in her eyes, making them look glassy and wide as she tried not to blink, not to actually cry.
'I don't know how but I think my magic is coming back and if it is, even if only a little then I'm dangerous because I never got taught how to control it, what with Uther having executed everyone who could have possibly taught me. There was this woman... back home. Morgause. She was like me and I think she would have taught me but then I went and woke up here and as much as I distrust this place I have never been safer from myself or anyone else, I've never slept so well and now... What if what happened at home happens here? I could hurt my roommate or someone else. I could hurt you. I set my room on fire in Camelot one night, I had a horrible vision, and I guess it frightened me but I was alone and my room was on fire, I had to have done it. What if I hurt him, or someone else without even being awake?!'
no subject
Steve should have asked her if she’d felt something the next day, when she and Lydia were in his kitchen. But Morg had seemed to be in such a great mood, and at the time, Steve was still wondering if he’d made it up. Because truth is, he’d felt something too when he was guarding Xeno that day. After he’d gotten confirmation from Barry that he’d felt the same, Steve had been trying to find a way to get within proximity with another mutant ever since.
So when she describes the feeling of being close to power but not having it, he nods. He knows exactly what she means.
When Morgana pauses, he can see the tears in her eyes and Steve’s eyebrows narrow in concern. It wasn’t just feeling her powers. Something else was bothering her, he can see that now, and part of him wants to do anything in his power to help her feel better. He just doesn’t know what that could be.
“Whatever it is Morgana, we’ll deal with it.”
And then it all came spilling out. How Morgana was afraid of herself, how she couldn’t control what she’s capable of. It reminds him of too many people he knows.
“Don’t worry about hurting me, or Barry. Don’t start feeling guilty about things you haven’t done. Don’t put that on yourself.”
Steve might have woken up in the 21st century, but he still doesn’t feel it’d be appropriate for him to reach for her hand. Even if it’d make her feel better. Honestly, given where Morgana was from, Steve wondered if physical contact would actually make her feel worse.
“If your powers are really back, we can take this one day at a time.” He glances down for a moment before looking back up at her. “To tell you the truth, that day, I felt something too. I think it has something to do with how close we are to them — the people the Computer calls mutants. Do you-“ He’s thinking back to her answer from earlier. Morgana had told him to ask Barry whether or not she’d dreamed. She hadn’t directly told him she did.
“Do you remember having a dream on any day after 103?”
no subject
As she tried to remain the calm, poised Lady she was trained to be.
But she was so afraid. For herself, of herself, of this beastly power she had been born with and had slumbered in her for years before coming out as anything more than her visions. Of the consequences of whatever it was on that day that had brought an inkling of it back. Morgana was so afraid, in fact, she almost didn't hear Steves words about him feeling it too, only catching it at the last second.
She blinked, quickly brushing away the tear that fell because of it, protests of how dangerous she was temporarily dying on her tongue.
'You felt it too?' she asked, sliding closer until the orange of her jumpsuit just barely touched his before she remembered herself. 'What did you feel?' maybe if she'd taken the time to talk to him after she realised what was happening it might have been easier, hell, if she had talked to anyone but then she'd been busy getting the food and helping Lydia and everything else. She had been running on fumes, being that they didn't get any sleep on 102 and it had just slipped her mind.
'At least one. I'm pretty sure, anyway. I barely remember it, I didn't know the faces but I'm not at home, so I doubt my visions would be of home where I would know.' truth was she had fallen asleep in one of the corridors she knew to have no working cameras, while trying to clear her thoughts away from the endless crowding of people that seemed to fill almost every area she was allowed access. It was only a miracle that no one had been around to discover her at the time, or if they had they didn't care enough to report a girl who slept in a corridor and woke screaming and muttering.
It had been the first time since she got here that she had been tempted to buy those drugs you could get from the commissary, or maybe something stronger.
no subject
Maybe he should ask Natasha for advice. For anyone else, that might have been a terrible idea. But for him? Steve’s willing to risk it.
“Strength,” he answers. “Morgana, we haven’t talked about it much. Back home, I’m stronger than I am here.” Like that was possible for a normal human. It wasn’t.
“I could feel some of it returning that day, but only when I was close enough to him.” His mutant. “I haven’t felt anything like that since.” A pause, as Steve considers putting a hand on her shoulder, like he would if she was a man. But she isn’t. And Steve just- he was a little too old-fashioned to treat her as if she was.
“I don’t think your dreams will be coming back Morgana. Not unless you come into contact with a mutant again.”
no subject
'How strong are you back home? You could wrestle with Arthurs men as you are now and come out the winner, and they are the best of our realm.' her voice trailed off slightly as she considered that, almost needing to pinch herself so her mind didn't go there. Steve and the knights would be fantastic wrestlers...
Morgana's cheeks blushed faintly as she pricked at her palms with her nails in an effort to wash that thought away. It didn't belong in a heart to heart while she was alone in his room with him.
'What if it was a catalyst? I went from the birth to a year ago without my magic brazenly showing it's face, something might have set it off like the mutants did here.'
no subject
He looks around the room, searching for something he could use. A surveillance camera would have been perfect, but he doesn’t have those in his apartment. Reaching into his pocket, Steve pulls out his PDC.
“Back home, I could break this one-handed.” Honestly it probably wouldn’t even require that he squeeze that hard, but Steve really isn’t one to brag. Even saying that made him feel a little uncomfortable.
A bit of color moves into her cheeks and Steve glances at her before he nods. “I have a similar hunch. I wonder if the people the Computer calls mutants, used to be like us.”
no subject
It took a moment for her to realise where her hand was, fingers laid over Steves much larger ones... and then she left it there, still pink in the cheeks but without skipping any further beats.
'And it went away since then? Was it only directly near them, or do you think you kept some of your ability?' because Morgana felt quite sure she had, though she doubted she could set anything on fire with her mind. Hell, she didn't know how to do that on purpose back home.
'Why are you supposed to be so strong, anyway? Just a gift? Like... Herkules or the other Greek stories?'
no subject
It probably has something to do with spending two decades being completely ignored by any girl that wasn’t his mom. Even when Bucky tried to set them up on double dates, both girls would rather hang out with Bucky than try to talk to Steve. So when he gets attention, it’s so strange and beautiful and terrible that he just blanks. Let’s chalk it up to shell shock.
So there it is. Her hand on his, both of them now kind of holding his PDC, and Steve doesn’t move an inch.
“Completely gone.” When it comes to the serum, Steve was sure. But despite what they were talking about, Steve can’t help but glance at her hand now and again. In his past experience, both at home and in Alpha, when a girl takes his hand, she usually plans on leaning into him next.
“Um.” Right. Speaking. “Kind of like Hercules, in a way. I was selected for a program. In the army. A scientist was working on something and I agreed to let him try it on me.” That was the short of it anyway.
no subject
He was just her friend, but so was Gwen, so was Arthur, and she had never been afraid to touch either of them before. Hell, she lay against Root like she was someone she had known her whole life and she hadn't known Root longer than she had known Steve.
It was stupid to keep him at arms length. When he spoke again she looked up, and though the concept of a scientist was still a bit uncertain to her, nevermind how they would achieve the feat of making a man extra strong, Morgana nodded. 'I think I was wrong, that sounds more like they wanted their own Achilles even if they had to make him from clay.'
'Did you defeat your Hector?' she asked, the more she spoke about Steve, the easier it was to ground herself. At any level of strength, Steve Rogers wasn't a monster. You didn't need to have the second sight to know that. He was brave, and courageous, and funny and kind, he was everything she had ever wanted Arthur to be, with few to any of Arthurs flaws, like his desire to be his fathers son no matter the cost.
So maybe unintentionally, Morgana was leaning in a little as her hands almost massaged the one hand she had of his, and maybe he was never just a friend somewhere in the back of her mind, but god she didn't care. In all her life the only people who had been this good to her were dead, or Gwen, and Gwen had suffered for staying in Camelot with Morgana, at least she hadn't caused Steve all that pain.
no subject
Did he defeat his Hector? It’s a complicated question, in this case, and Steve actually diverts his eyes for a moment to think. HYDRA was still out there, or at least it had been, in his memories. And there will always be more Hectors.
His eyes linger back on their hands again, before he looks back up at her eyes. “I’m still workin’ on it.” It’s the answer he settles on, and he tries to give her a smile to tell Morgana that she doesn’t need to be worried about him, but she’s leaning in now, and Steve still doesn’t know what to do.
At the very least, she didn’t look like she was about to cry anymore. Preventing her from needing to shed tears has been his goal, but maybe now what Morgana wants, as his friend, is a hug.
“Hey.” Slowly, gently, the moves his other arm, the one she isn’t holding by the hand, around Morgana’s shoulders into a hug, as he moves himself closer to her on the couch. Steve might not be amplified by the serum anymore, but he’s still strong, and sturdy, and he’ll certainly feel that way in a hug. “You’re going to be fine, okay?”
“If you don’t want your abilities back, we’ll figure out how to make sure that happens. Or if you do, and you want to learn how to control them, we’ll find you someone who can help. Either way Morg, you aren’t going to go through it alone. I’ll be here.”
no subject
'A day will come when you face the evils of your world, your Hector, and you will defeat it.' she squeezed his hand and smiled, and easy smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Morgana had faced her own evils and she had not been as steadfast against them as she felt he would be. If she had been a stronger woman Uther could've been already dead, if she wasn't always so afraid hundreds of innocents could've been spared.
She would have to face him again, but not tonight, not here in Alpha Complex. She was the only one from her time and place, the chance that the Computer would drag Uther here seemed slim.
Morgana forced the idea out of her mind as Steve moved, she was almost afraid she had overstepped and he was going to sit somewhere else, but she found herself wrapped up in his arm instead and so she lay her head back against his shoulder, listening to him speak.
Maybe she wasn't going to cry right now because she was frightened anymore, but she teetered on the edge of crying because he was being so good to her after a life of nearly everyone but her parents treating her like the crazy woman who looks good in a tight dress. It was, no doubt, a little thing for Steve to say, but for her to hear it... her heart could've broken her ribs for how fast it beat and how it could've grown just at the idea that someone could say that and mean it.
That he could listen to her explain what a danger she was and his response was to help, not scorn her it was more than even some of her best friends had ever given her.
'Somehow, I think I can actually believe you in that.' she said, as if she ever really didn't believe him, about anything.
Letting go of his hand Morgana moved, soft fingers slid up from his hand, along the strong line of his arm to his other shoulder, and then to cup his jaw, she leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, her cheeks as red as her old jumpsuit when she did so but it felt right to be this close to him, to touch him.
So much for thinking of him as just a friend.
no subject
Experience. He has some experience helping people control their powers.
But that thought and sentence gets pushed swiftly aside when Steve feels her lips against his own, and his eyes open just a little wider before they gently close. He’s been kissed before, and each time the feeling overwhelms him just a little, because somewhere in the back of his head, Steve still pictures himself as the scrawny kid next to Bucky who could barely fill a uniform.
And Morgana’s lips feel so … soft and warm and good in a way that Steve had forgotten he could feel, and he senses himself instinctually kissing her back. His hands let go of her though, as he moves them to hover next to her arms, unsure of whether he could hold her. Whether he should hold her. Whether he could even tell if he wants to hold her — because the kiss, it’s the only thing he can think about.
Captain America, who could fearlessly lead thousands to ride into fire, is being defeated, right now, by a single kiss.
no subject
To Morgana, flirting was a game, boys like her, hell, some girls liked her too but she had always been out of reach.
No one had ever dared to press their lips to hers, and she had never offered.
Not until tonight, until her countless weeks of flirting with Steve while being her friend had come to this, with her hand on his jaw and her lips against his. It was never really the plan. She had flirted with Arthur since they were children mimicking the way the adults acted in court. She flirted with knights, suitors, hell even a few people here...
But nothing had ever compelled her to take such a leap of faith.
His lips were so soft that she forgot herself for a little while, forgetting her uncertainty, forgetting that she may have just made their friendship the most awkward thing in the entire complex... forgetting all her troubles. Just for a moment.
Until she realised his hands were still hovering uncertainly, so she pulled back from him, breaking the kiss but with her hands still lingering.
Morgana tried to speak but came up flustered, blushing as she failed to start her sentence twice before she managed. 'Are you okay?' or did she fuck this up, like she had so many things before?
no subject
There’s a part of him that wants to kiss her again, so when Morgana pulls up, he leans forward a little, following her for just a centimeter before Steve catches himself and stops. He looks … shocked, to put it gently, with his lips parted and his eyes open again.
Steve can’t deny that he’s really enjoyed her company over the months. He’s probably flirted back a few times — or maybe in Steve’s mind, he just thought of that as being extra friendly. Either way, he cares about her, a lot, so he answers, before he can even figure out what it is he’s feeling.
“Yeah.” Steve swallows, and then blinks a few times, before he shakes himself out of it. He would have kept kissing her, he can feel it, and probably as long as she’d stayed that way, and Steve would have done so for so many reasons, but not the right one. At least not yet.
He brings the back of his hand up to his lips, wiping them gently out of instinct. “Morgana, I-“ He puts his hand down, but when he notices hers is still on his shoulder, he gently takes her hand into his own, and moves both their hands down onto his knee. “I didn’t know you felt this way.“
He glances down for a moment, eyebrows furrowed a little, unsure of what to do next. “I’ve always considered you a friend.” But it’s not that he doesn’t think they could be more — she sweet and kind and beautiful, everything he’s supposed to want — Steve just, well, he hadn’t really given any thought to the possibility of being more than friends. Until this very moment, he supposes.
no subject
And if she had ruined things, saying sorry would hardly suffice. He was her friend, maybe the best friend she'd ever had that wasn't Gwen and she had let a moments desire ruin it? A moment's impulse, a need that had risen from the well of loneliness that too often clouded her thoughts and in this one instance, had gotten the better of her.
But his lips were soft and he was so kind that she had let herself reach out. Just once.
Even his "yeah" doesn't sound quite sure, just like the way his mouth had fallen slightly agape, seemingly wondering what she had just done, what they had just done.
It's only seconds, but as he picks up her hand Morgana resigns herself to the idea that even though he kissed her back she had gone too far. She expects, for every moment of those few seconds for him to remove her hand from him and let go of her, for him to move back, to ask her to leave, as close to a slap as she thought Steve would ever come with her.
But it doesn't come, not quite anyway. He takes her hand much like she had taken his, he doesn't let go or cast her out. He does speak, though, and it takes a moment for her brain to catch up as she tries to regulate her breath and keep her lower lip from trembling.
And yeah, the "considered you a friend" talk makes some of her ache, especially that he said it in the past tense... but he wasn't kicking her out of the room so Morgana would take it. She swallowed and squeezed his hand gently and with some effort managed to speak again.
'I shouldn't have... or I should've asked first.' maybe? Honestly, she couldn't help but think there must have been thousands of things she could've done wrong. Men in her time were surely different to men from his time, and certainly, first kisses must have been different too. 'I didn't plan too, it just... felt right.' I'm sorry didn't quite come out in her words but it was all over her tone.
'You are a wonderful friend and it's a pleasure to have you as mine, I would never want that to change.' More than Steve could possibly understand.
no subject
It’s not her fault. It’s not anyone’s fault that Steve has never much of his life thinking about women or romance. He’s only ever loved one person this way — but in the end, he’d still chose duty over the life they could have had together. It helps however, that he thinks Peggy would have done the same. And that she understands why he had to do what he did.
When there are still bullies to fight … the rest just doesn’t seem to matter as much.
There’s a brief moment when he glances up at her and there’s just silence as he seems to be considering something. Right now, part of him wants to kiss her again, just to feel the sensation wash over him once more, and because he knows that it’s what she wants, and Steve is searching so hard for a good, honest reason to do so because he doesn’t want this — this awkward, hesitant feeling now floating in the air, threatening to fracture their friendship.
But in another second, he pushes the notion away. His head might still be fuzzy from what’s just happened, but he hasn’t lost his senses. Steve’s knows if he kisses her, she’ll hurt less now. That she won’t feel the need to apologize anymore, but then … what after? He’d be giving her a hope that he’s not yet ready to give.
And that’s probably worse in the end.
So he averts his eyes back down to their hands as he gives her fingers a reassuring squeeze. When he looks back up, there’s a warmth in his eyes — like the way he always looks at her — and a small smile on his face.
“I don’t want that either Morgana.” A pause, as Steve feels like something’s still missing. A gap he needs to close. “And you should know that this- This doesn’t have to change anything.”
no subject
There was no one left in the Complex that she trusted more than the man who was delicately holding her hands as they sat there, the silence between them only broken for a few words here and there. If Steve said it was fine, that it would be fine then maybe, just maybe, he was right. Morgana wished her visions, if they really were coming back could help her be sure that they wouldn't lose bits of their friendship because of this, but her "power" if you could call it that was never so kind.
God knows she didn't want this to make them dance around each other, their friendship slowly chipping and cracking as they lingered uncertainly instead of the easy confidence in each others company they had had before.
A smarter person might leave, give him some space, but even if she had wanted too, she doesn't want to pull her hands out of his. Instead, she turns slightly so they're not staring so intently at each other if they happen to look the same way, and she settles down beside him on the sofa again, her head just barely touching his shoulder and their hands still entwined.
What to say next is a lot harder than how to sit. The first thing that comes to mind is how much her father would have adored Steve, but she just kissed him so that seems like a bit much.
'I've changed my mind.' she says instead, her voice at lot easier than she still feels. 'You wouldn't make a good knight in Camelot, you're much to gallant.' also she strongly suspected Steve wouldn't be okay with them murdering men, women and children with little hesitation, but that was far less fun to talk about. 'Also, even you might be tempted to break Arthurs face. He has that effect on people.'
'I do wish you could meet Gwen though.' so it was a total subject change, sure, but lingering on the kiss wasn't getting them anywhere, Steve, even having kissed her back clearly wasn't inclined to go there. 'She's my maid... really my friend, since we were quite young. She's the blacksmiths daughter. We used to spar with each other after the boys decided we were too distracting and dainty.'
no subject
As she talks, and changes subject, Steve realizes though, why he’s come to like Morgana so much, even if he hadn’t quite been able to put his finger on why. Even in the 40s, women struggled to be seen as equals. He had seen Peggy struggling with it in front the Colonel. He can’t even imagine how difficult it would have been in Morgana’s time to be a woman, much less one who liked to spar and speak her mind. So you could say that Steve admired her for having a strength beyond her time. Just like Peggy.
“Sounds like the two of you had a lot of adventures. Did you ever get into trouble?”
He leans back onto the couch too, so that they’re parallel now, but he doesn’t move his hands. Steve knows it’s the best comfort he can give right now — that, and following her lead and talking about something else.
no subject
'I was twelve when she was... assigned to me. Gwen's about a year older, but she's at least ten years more sensible than I ever was. I met her when we were younger, when I was about so high' she gestured, a mere three feet off the ground. 'As Da would go to the blacksmiths and I would toddle along after him, begging for my very own real sword. I believe I was disappointed that the adult swords tipped me over and the wooden swords only left bruises.' that was about the age when Morgana was still objecting, violently, to dresses. More than one had been tossed off the top of the castle, some of them at her home where the castle walls were over a cliff, and off her expensive little dresses had gone into the sea.
'She was my favourite because she knew all about swords and armour and she smelt like lavender.' she probably still smelt like lavender, somewhere, wherever Camelot was. Because all of this was real at some point. Morgana wouldn't accept otherwise no matter how often the computer said "glitch".
'But we would run off and play together, and as we got older we ventured further out, borrowed real swords, sometimes we took food. Sometimes we tried learning how to swim. Stole some pants too...' Arthur didn't need all his trousers anyway. 'Gallop through the trees on my horse.'
While at first, she had been faking her light tone, the more she spoke about Gwen, the easier it became. The memories of her best friend were a balm despite the ache her absence caused. She remembered each moment like it was yesterday, the way Gwen had wrapped her arms tightly around Morgana the first time she had been pulled up on her horse, the sweet, thick scent of Gwens hair as a sparring match turned from swords to wrestling, with laughter echoing away from their clearing and into the far woods. The careful little stitches when Morgana had caught her arm on Gwen's sword and Gwen had stood there close to tears cleaning it and fixing it while Morgana just bit her lip and stroked Gwen's hair to tell her it was fine.
'We stopped mostly, it became too dangerous. I didn't want her to get hurt because the stupid noble lady wanted to be an amazon. It wasn't fair to her.' not with the ever growing rate of incidents from (justifiably) angry magic users, and even the possibility that Uther might take issue. 'I didn't want her put in the dungeons for disobeying the King with me, or worse.'
'Though we were kidnapped in the last year... and I almost lost her because she hurt her ankle and I couldn't carry her but she wouldn't let me stay either. Arthur and Uther wouldn't let me go back to help find her, despite fighting my way out of there in only my shift.' that? That she was still bitter about.
'She also knew about my dreams... she would stay in my room sometimes when I was frightened. Wake me up if I was screaming and hold me until I calmed down. God, if I had set her on fire or hurt her I would never forgive myself.' she squeezed Steves hands gently, as if to remind herself she was here and not at home, and even if her powers were back she hadn't actually exploded anything with them so far.
no subject
Steve already knows that if he had been transported back into her time, his life would be short-lived. Even here in the Alpha Complex, he expects IntSec to bust into his apartment at any moment and take him away. But hadn’t the Computer known his values when she recreated him? Why give him these memories or these convictions, if she didn’t want him to use them?
“Listen,” his voice is firm, when he speaks. Like he’s telling her not to question what he’s about to say next. “Morgana.” He squeeze her hand back, and brings his other hand over to place on top of hers. “I’ll never be Gwen, but the next time you have a nightmare and wake up, call me. It won’t matter what time.” He’ll come and sit with her until it passes. Until she can sleep again.
“And if you feel comfortable, I would tell Barry.” There aren’t many ORANGE level specials, so Steve knows exactly who she lives with. “I trust him, and I’m certain he’ll want to help, if you’re willing to let him.” Given what’s happened, Steve also wants to give Morgana an out. She doesn’t have to call him if that brings her pain. But he needs her to know that her support system in this place is a lot bigger than she realizes.
no subject
There was only Gwen, and the unspoken truth about what she was that lay between them, covered up with flowers and playful teasing.
She swallowed and smiled, a soft smile that was sad but also, for once, hopeful.
'I know I can call you, I did today. It never crossed my mind that you wouldn't be there for me, be it by message or in person.' it had caught her by surprise how swiftly he had come to her, but not really that he had come at all.
He was a good man. Good men cared for their friends.
'I think Barry may think I'm off my rocker, we haven't had much time to chat.' they had spent so much time now not talking that it had become a game almost because at this point what was there to say? 'Not that he'd be entirely wrong in thinking that.'
After all, wasn't there always a spark of madness of misunderstanding in seers? The oracle at Delphi, Cassandra... no seer was ever really understood. She wasn't understood back home.
'If my powers ever do come back and I tell you not to die and you do, I will punch your corpse, so you know.' the soft smile turned into a grin as she looked at him, 'and then punch you when they raise you from the dead like they do in this place.' people survived all sorts of things they shouldn't have here which made it easier to joke, but she was only half joking. There had been times she would've clobbered Arthur for not listening to her, times she almost did.
Steve was exactly the sort to run into danger to do the right thing, even after she warned him of death. Not unlike Arthur in that respect, even though she had come to see many differences between them otherwise.
wrap on your next tag? or here?
I HAD TO REPLY but we can leave it at this.