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Daycycle 125 [February 5 - February 11]

Daycycle 125

[Feb 5 - Feb 11]

[OOC Plotting for this Dacycle can be found here.]

Early, Early Morning [1200 - 0400]
Room 1201 will be woken up at 1200 when a squadron of Internal Security Gray Ops come to arrest Barry Allen for treason. He will be led away at gun point and his roommate, Morgana LeFey will be immediately taken into IntSec for questioning. She will be questioned about the activities of her former roommate for several hours before being sedated and returned to her room before 0500. Morgana will not remember Barry's arrest or her questioning when she wakes.

Early Morning [0800 - 0900] — All Troubleshooters Report for Duty

The Briefing Officer seems particularly annoyed today as she gives a speech about working together for the greater good of Alpha and how any future attacks will be dealt with swiftly and justly without a trial. No arrests have been made for yesterday's attack due to a lack of substantial evidence, but IntSec is working on bringing those responsible and those participants who used excessive force to justice.

The rumor among IntSec personnel is that the security footage from the commissary for the hour of the event has been erased. Many believe it was a ProTech job and IntSec are focusing their sights on suspected members. If your character is suspected of being a member, they may be pulled into questioning at any time.

Derek Hale and Dirk Gently have been selected for today's mission.

‘As you know, today is Interrogator Appreciation Day, and we’re positively swamped with orders for PlastiFloral and UltraBonBon deliveries. Here is a list of interrogation chambers in this sector and the specific interrogator recipient at each.’ [ Don't be surprised if you are ordered to taste test each delivery of BonBons. Most higher ranking officials are on high alert due to the MOD killer.]

Morning & Afternoon [0900 - 1600] — Service Firm Positions
All Troubleshooters not assigned a mission should report to their Service Firm for their daily duties.

Isabelle Lightwood will be pulled from Medical Services to assist with a backlog of forensic work in IntSec. She will primarily be told to focus on the MOD murder evidence.

Jack Harkness will be given a bag of fan mail that was "lost", but most likely withheld by his mentor, Teela O'Malley. In it are many fan letters, two marriage proposals and one death threat.

Morgana LeFey will be assigned to a special hydroponic sector where Alpha scientists are working on developing faster growing fruit to meet a demand for more real food for citizens meeting key physical metrics. The chemicals being used have not yet been approved by PLC.

Evening [1600 - 2200] — Citizen Improvement
All Alpha citizens are encouraged to better themselves through Alpha’s wide variety of educational, entertainment and cultural opportunities offered each evening. Attending these sanctioned events are not mandatory, but is highly encouraged by The Computer. Citizens choosing not to take advantage of these opportunities, have a growing number of other options available to them in how to spend their hard earned credits and free time.

Tonight’s event will be at 1900 in Meeting Room L, Wagon Wheel, Floor 30 and will be hosted by the Alpha Association of the Dead. This association is for all clones who have been determined terminated by the computer and have been replaced in error. If you would like your existence to be acknowledged, please bring all forms, stamped and notified by the proper authorities and ten letters proving your existence by Alpha citizens of a BLUE or higher clearance level.

Alpha Curfew Restrictions
All Alpha citizens should be in their quarters within the Wagon Wheel by 2200, unless they’ve been given permission from a GREEN or higher clearance level citizen. Sleeping Aid gas is dispelled each night in the Wagon Wheel at 2200 to assist citizens in getting a productive sleeping period.

Confession Booths
There are hundreds of confession booths available around Alpha Complex if a citizen would like to communicate directly with the computer. Please use these confession booths to report mission statuses, report treason or terrorist acts, unregistered mutants, confess your trespasses against Alpha Complex, request propaganda or speak with Your Friend, The Computer, at any time.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Waking up at Steve's is disorientating at first, mainly because somehow he had been able to actually sleep, but as he readjusts his position in bed, the twinge of pain from the broken rib he had sustained in the fight from last night reminds him of what happened in the Commissary. If that's not enough, by the time he goes to shower, he can see the bruise under his neck where someone had tried to choke him out using a pipe, and the busted lip from one of the punches he had taken. It should annoy him, to be left with those souvenirs from the fight, but honestly he doesn't mind it. He has never minded them ~~except when it was his father leaving those marks behind~~, and after last night, he's proud of the fact that they show that he won't be taken down so easily.

That is why, when he attends the briefing and they're 'warned' about what happened, Tony has to control himself so that he won't outright roll his eyes. The Specials haven't even been doing anything - all they did was defend themselves. If anything, it's all the protestors causing the mayhem around here, and he's more annoyed at the fact that they put people he cares about in danger. On his way to work, and then again when he steps out for lunch, he keeps his eyes peeled for Katniss and Gracie, along with the rest of his team, wanting to make sure that they're okay. He'll check on Lydia and Cisco at work, and then he'll throw himself into finishing the weapons he's working on. After yesterday, it's imperative that he finishes them.

Once the work day is over, Tony takes a walk down to the waterfront to clear his head before he goes in search of Morgana to check on her as well. Afterwards he goes down to his lab in HQ so he can continue working, until it's time to meet up with Steve back in his room. By then the dull ache along his side from the broken rib has lessened, and the bruises are faint compared to how they looked in the morning.

Honestly, though, that's the least of his concerns. He already plans on using his gas mask tonight to avoid being put under, so that he could finish charging the pistols and he could finally give Lydia the one he promised her, and he could work the rest of the night.

After the fight from last night, he's more determined than ever to build an arsenal for them to use.

It hadn't been easy for Katniss to return to the commissary today. She had skipped out on breakfast, trying to drown herself in the cold shower after leaving Derek's room that morning. As if by doing so, she could forget all about the attack yesterday. She had messed up. She had messed up in a way that could have been so potentially costly. It isn't that Katniss could have easily died. That need for her own survival to be paramount died when Prim had died. Died earlier than that, probably at some point during the Quarter Quell.

That Prim could have died from her inaction is what continues to haunt her. It had ate at her when she had slipped into Derek's bed and every time she woke up in the middle of the night, she had been reminded. Katniss had froze because Prim was in danger. All she could see was Prim's death in Panem.

This morning, despite being held throughout the night, she still feels guilty. She feels guilty for allowing herself to be comforted. She feels guilty for needing anyone to rescue her or Prim. Work doesn't do much to distract her. The guilt lingers into the afternoon. Come lunchtime, her stomach rumbles. Still, even as hungry as she is, she stands outside of the commissary.

Going in just makes the guilt feel all the more poignant.

Before the lunch hour started, Tony had gone to his room to get some schematics that he had hidden under his mattress. They're done on a simple napkin, and to anyone that doesn't know the secret code that Tony came up with in college it would seem like nonsense scribbled all over the place, but that's the point.

Nonetheless, as he walks back he doesn't bother reading them. The napkins are tucked neatly in his pocket as he heads back to the Commissary, but his thoughts immediately derail from the mental blueprints he's working on the moment that he catches sight of Katniss. Physically she doesn't look as if she was harmed last night, which definitely allows him to breathe a little better in relief. There's a look in her eyes that makes him worry, though, and he doesn't waste any time in approaching her.

"Hey, kiddo," he greets casually, although there's a hint of softness in his voice as he tries to not spook her. Tony had been there when she first arrived, after all; the last thing he wants to do is make her that jumpy again. "It's good to see you. Heading in for lunch?"

Are you okay? is what he really wants to ask, but again, he doesn't want to spook her with questions that maybe she doesn't want to answer.

Morning | Locked to Derek

Dirk is very chipper to be selected for a mission, especially a mission to deliver bonbons, which doesn't sound like a mission so much as a fun and exciting way to spend his day.
His enthusiasm dampens significantly the first time they step into an interrogation chamber, he pales and it's very obvious he wants to be out of there as soon as possible, formerly bubbly chatter becoming just a little bit stilted. As soon as he gets out again, he's quiet at first but quickly forces himself to bounce back - though it's obvious that he's not looking forward to the next delivery.

Commissary | Lunch | OTA

His cheer is back in time for lunch and he accepts his 'meal' (if you can really call it that) with enthusiasm, scanning the room for a moment or two before purposely marching over to the first person he spots that looks like they're sitting on their own and dropping himself into the seat next to them.

"Hello," he shoves a hand out at them "Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective, I live here now."

Maybe she should have been more forthcoming to Tony when they first met. He had seen how shell-shocked she had been after arriving. How difficult it had been to break her silence and speak. How much she desperately wanted the glitches to be false and that past life she remembered to be a lie. All of that is a lot of what she feels now. She had failed Prim and she had failed herself. But explaining that to anyone who isn't Derek still seems difficult.

If Tony had judged her back when she first arrived, he hasn't given any indication. Nor is he looking at her funny right now. What kind of strange person can't seem to enter a dining hall?

Her. Apparently.

"Maybe," she answers quietly, watching him closely. "I'm still thinking about it. Are you?"

Tony has never really expected Katniss to be forthcoming to him. Maybe it would have been easy to write her off, let someone else worry about her, but he couldn't function that way. There has always been something about her that makes him want to protect her, even if she seems tough enough to protect herself anyway.

That is why, when she answers him that quietly and still doesn't seem like she's ready to move into the Commissary, Tony doesn't waste any time. He moves to stand next to her; close enough so that they could still talk, but still leaving enough space so that she could (hopefully) not feel like he's crowding her.

"I'm still debating if I want to eat, or if I'll just go back to work." He shrugs slightly, as if it's not a big deal. "So, I guess you could say I'm still thinking about it, too."

He pauses, but only for a brief moment. Despite his initial attempt to not ask if she's okay, he can't help it. "What's going on?"

Waking up that morning feels like floating to land on the soft waves of a morning tide. Gently, Steve is pushed into consciousness, calm and gradual in ways he hasn't experienced for decades. Instinctually, his fingers curl around something smooth (Tony's shoulder), and that's how Steve begins to register the warmth of the body pressed against him, and the subtle hum from the arc reactor. He doesn't startle, because before Steve can wonder who is in his bed right now, the memories of last night start to fade in, and when he opens his eyes, it's as if he wants to confirm that all of it was real.

That last night, he and Tony ...

A small oh escapes from underneath his breath as Steve can feel a newfound heat in his cheeks, but he can't look away from the beautiful man whose currently curled up in his arms, still fast asleep. Steve himself must have held Tony like this all night long, unwilling to let go.

As his eyes trail down to the covers pulled over them, he remembers the little details so vividly. The soft touches next to the hard thrusts. The light brushes beneath the heavy breaths. The calming caresses after the intoxicating climax. All of those things help Steve to realize that right now, beneath the sheets, there's absolutely nothing at all in-between their bodies, and he lets out a quiet breath as his cheeks darken to crimson.

If there's one thing he's certain of though, is that Steve knows he doesn't regret anything that happened last night. It was fast — so, very fast — but it also felt right, just like how it feels right right now. How could he regret anything that led to this moment, when he gets to see the way Tony seems to rise and fall with his chest, that peaceful look on his face, and the fact that he still gets to hold him.

No, Steve thinks. He really has no regrets.

For the first time in a long time, Tony has actually managed to sleep through most of the night. At one point he had started to wake up as his emotions were no longer numbing out the pain from his side, and the jolt from it managed to wake him up, but with the glow of the arc reactor he had been able to see Steve. Still asleep, looking so damn perfect that Tony had wanted to stay awake the rest of the night, just...memorizing every detail. Steve has always been a sight to see - he has known that for far longer than he will ever admit - but seeing him in that glow of the arc reactor had been different. It had been something that he still couldn't believe had happened, and god, he just looked so damn beautiful that it felt like his heart would burst.

The sound of his breathing, though, along with that warmth that Steve radiates on a general basis, had managed to lull him back to sleep shortly after. He had felt safe. Happy, even. They're emotions that Tony's not generally used to, and they're emotions that a part of him is scared of feeling because it's yet another way to fall deeper for Steve than what he already does, but it's too late now. He's too far gone.

As he starts waking up shortly after Steve, and he feels the way that Steve is still holding him, worrying about falling too fast and too deep for Steve is the last thing he's thinking about. He's too wrapped up in this warmth, in this happiness to really let it go. Even now, with his mind foggy with sleep, he feels that sense of bliss still running through his veins, and it makes him stretch slowly against Steve as he moves as close as possible to him. He loves this, how their bodies are so entangled together with nothing getting in the way, and he lets out a soft sort of hum as he kisses the edge of his boyfriend's jaw.

"Good morning, gorgeous," he murmurs as he opens his eyes, a lazy sort of smile tugging at his lips. It's lazy, but so damn happy all at the same time.

He could get used to waking up this way, he thinks, as he feels the way Tony stretches against him, and Steve loosens his hold around him to give him the slack he needs. Suddenly though, he finds himself able to practically feel Tony's entire body rub against him, and it's still so new and unexpected that Steve forgets to breathe for a second.

"Morning," he whispers back, the corners of his lips curling upwards as he fully realizes and appreciates the fact that last night, he and Tony were together and close in a way that he's never been with another person before. For this day forward, no matter what happens, Tony will always be his first. And depending on what does happen, Tony has a very strong chance of being his only.

"Did you sleep alright?" Steve asks, still not really letting go, but his arms shift lower down against Tony's back, feeling the warmth of his skin, almost just because he can. They'd touched nearly every part of each other last night — even places Steve didn't know people could share, and god he's still embarrassed at how much Tony had to show him. But Steve already knows that all of this is going to stay feeling new to him for a long, long time. Steve can't even imagine getting used to it, honestly, because being so close to Tony had felt ... so ... special in a way that he can't describe. Every little movement had been surprising, humbling, loving, like a gift — something Steve will always be grateful to get, but will never come to expect. He's never felt this way before, with anyone.

"How are you feeling?" he adds, because after Tony's injury, and what they did last night, and the few moments where Steve knows he lost control and grabbed onto Tony too hard, he just- He needs to know that Tony's okay. Even if everything about Tony right now is signaling to him that he feels happy and warm and safe, Steve has to ask.

While it's not intentional, the way that he feels Steve entire body as he essentially stretches against him is exactly what he needs right now. It's such an amazing sensation that it makes him feel like he's drowning in happiness, but he loves it. He loves this. He loves...

With a small deep breath, he wraps his arms around Steve, latching onto him a little closer. His hold isn't strong, his body is still so relaxed that it's more like a casual hold, but as he gently brushes his fingers along the small of his back, it makes it clear that it's small but it's loving. This closeness is so intimate that for a moment he doesn't know what to do with it, but one look at Steve and he realizes he doesn't have to worry about this now. He can just enjoy it. He can just...be.

"I slept perfectly," he assures him, his smile widening slightly more. Especially as he feels his arm against his back. God, he feels so happy that it almost feels foreign to feel this way, but it's real. The happiness and affection in his eyes are reflecting easily in a sense of warmth that he almost seems to radiate, and he kisses his cheek because apparently he can't stop himself from doing so.

It would be easy to play dumb at his question and pretend he doesn't know what he's talking about, but he can't do it. It's not like he hadn't felt the twinge of pain the moment he had started stretching, after all.

Still, his expression doesn't change as he answers. "A little sore, but not in a bad way. I'm fine, sweetheart." He presses a soft kiss against his jaw again before whispering, almost as if he's admitting a secret that he doesn't want anyone else to know even if they're alone in the room. "I feel...very happy right now, actually."

Baby and sweetheart. Little terms of endearment that go straight to the center of Steve's heart. Every time he hears them, it feels surreal, like how could Tony possibly think of him that way? As his baby. His sweetheart. But here they are, together in ways Steve could have never imagined before this place, and he can't help the soft coat of emotion in his eyes where he hears Tony call him sweetheart again this morning.

And he's happy — too happy — to know that Tony slept well, and that even if he's a little sore, he's fine. God, not only that. Tony's happy.

A hand comes up to cradle Tony's cheek, and Steve delivers his own soft kiss on his forehead. "I feel the same," he whispers back, lingering there because he can. But there's more than happiest brewing inside him now. He also feels a warmth that's stronger than anything he's ever felt before, and he knows that every bit of it belongs to Tony.

Every bit of that love belongs to Tony.

He nearly tells him as much, but Steve remembers the way Tony reacted all those weeks ago, when he first brought up falling in love, and Steve holds back. Instead, he just keeps holding him, his thumbs occasionally brushing against Tony's skin, back and forth.

It's early still, and Steve knows that eventually, he'll want to make them breakfast and Tony will need to report to work, but right now? He just wants to stay here a little longer.

Seeing the emotion in Steve's eyes makes something swell in his chest. It's more happiness - it's love - and Tony hardly knows how to contain it all. Really, even if his ribs were collapsing, he'd probably still be smiling right now because being here with him like this is better than anything else in the world.

The sentiment is confirmed when Steve kisses his forehead, and Tony lets out a soft sigh that's just so damn content that it feels like he's floating. God, he thinks, Steve is spoiling him. He never used to be much for affection, but it's starting to dawn on him how much Steve has changed him already.

Pulling himself closer to him, he adjusts his position to kiss Steve's collarbone before tangling himself further against him and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Which he hopes that Steve doesn't mind - feeling him like this, skin to skin, feels like it's making his skin buzz with happiness, and he presses his lips softly against his neck after a moment.

"If...the arc reactor feels cold or bothers you, let me know and I'll move."

That little sigh that escapes Tony spreads it's contentment all the way into Steve's chest, because just hearing him so relaxed makes Steve feel the same, and all he wants to do is draw out that sound again.

When Tony buries his face against him, Steve arms move up and snugly wrap around Tony's shoulders, keeping any space between them to an absolute minimum. His mind feels lost in the sensation of it all — the warmth, the softness, the feeling of Tony's breath, the way those lips feel against his neck — that when he hears the offer to shift the arc reactor away, Steve almost misses it entirely.

"Hmmm?"

His eyes are closed again, just for a moment as he feels a sensation from last night start to float in from the edges of his consciousness.

"I like the way it ..." He's searching for the word. "... hums." Steve takes a contented breath in and out. "I never told you before, never had a reason to I guess, but I always thought your reactor was kinda beautiful."

God, feeling Steve's arms around his shoulders feels so comforting. So warm. He had already woken up without wanting to move from this spot, but now that he's wrapped up in his arms...he knows damn well where he wants to spend the rest of the day.

And he almost suggests it, but it's that sudden thought about the arc reactor that had made him bring up the idea of moving. Because if there's one thing that would make him do it, it's that. Tony hates the arc reactor with a passion and thinks of it as a burden as it is - the last thing that he wants is for it to be bothersome for Steve, too.

In some way, since he hates the damn thing so much, he almost expects Steve to say that yes, that maybe he should move. It's his own insecurities making him think that, but then he takes him by surprise when he says that he likes how it hums. It takes him even more by surprise when he says he thinks it's beautiful, and Tony pulls back slightly only to look at him in a sense of awe and disbelief. "You're... Really?"

He feels the way Tony pulls back to look at him and Steve glances down in response. "Yeah," he answers, as he sees both what looks like disbelief and ... a certain kind of hope, in Tony's eyes.

"I know this one isn't the exact same as the ones you built back home, but your reactor ... it means something Tony. A lot of things." For a long time now, he's never said anything about the reactor because Steve was so sure that someone, surely anyone, has told Tony this already. But right now, for the first time, he realizes that maybe no one has. And because Tony doesn't seem to stop giving him that look, Steve keeps going.

"It reminds me every day that when things were their hardest, you refused to give up. That's why I even had the chance to meet you in the first place, right?" Because without the reactor, Tony would've probably died in Afghanistan, and back then, Steve was just a popsicle in the ice.

Steve pulls Tony down again, if he's willing, so he can keep holding him close when he tells him: "It also reminds me, every day, that you're one of the most brilliant and talented people I know. That you can see things I can't, Tony, and you can make those things real." He chuckles a little though, because he knows how sappy this next part is going to sound.

"But you know, even back home, some days I'd see that glow from beneath your shirt and wonder if you knew how inspiring you are. That arc reactor ... it's ... it will always be a light in the darkness. Not just the one you made for yourself, but the what- dozens? that you made to power your suits, to make the world a better place. To keep people safe? Tony- how could I not see it as anything except beautiful?"

There's just a pause then, before: "Has no one ... said anything like this to you before?"

This isn't the first time that Tony has heard that his reactor means something - after all, Pepper had given him that glass case with the first one - but...this is different. Hearing those words from him, with that sincerity that Steve always has, it tugs at something in Tony's heart that he doesn't expect.

That's why he stays still as he eases back onto the pillow, but his eyes never leave Steve's. Even if there's a moment where he almost squirms, because he's not used to compliments like this, and when he finally glances away briefly it's when he feels the way his cheeks warm up a little. Tony Stark is a lot of things, and one that brags and has no filter for his lack of modesty is something that is almost a trademark, but what very few people know is how much of an act that is. Because, if Tony can make the world believe he's the best - or that he at least thinks so - then they can't see how tarnished he really is. How little he truly thinks of himself; how even a compliment like this is almost new to him, because while Tony does feel proud of his accomplishments (sometimes) and he knows he has pushed technology forward in a way no one else could have... His self doubt is always there. It never leaves. It gnaws away at him every single day.

"I think it's beautiful when it's not in me," he admits with a sort of playful tone, but there's a wry smirk that tugs at his lips as he looks back at Steve, moving his fingers gently along Steve's warm skin. His question takes him by surprise, though, and for a moment he just pauses.

"Not quite like that, no," he finally answers, his voice soft. "But that's okay. Because it means a lot coming from you." He leans in to kiss his cheek, lingering for a moment, and when he settles back he leaves a small gap between them. Only so he can reach for his hand after a moment, and gently guides it so Steve's hand can rest against the arc reactor itself. Considering Tony's hesitance at even showing Steve his scars last night, this is surprising even to him, but it doesn't stop him. This is, in a lot of ways, Tony's most visible scar. The one he can't escape, and letting Steve be this close to it is his sign of trust and how much he means to him. His chest is littered with scars from the bombing, and at its center there's the reactor humming quietly beneath that blue glow. He can't feel Steve's touch where the reactor is, but he can definitely feel the way his hand feels against his chest, and Tony's expression is as unguarded as it can be. There are no masks, no facades. Just himself, and the love he feels for this man right now.

"I...lived for a long time not wanting people to even see it glow," he admits quietly. "I didn't think it should be seen. But...I kind of really love that you like it this much."

"Fair," Steve says, when he sees that smirk on Tony's face, and he lifts his eyebrows as he grins. "But you're so beautiful that it's hard for the reactor to compete."

When he feels that kiss on his cheek and the way Tony settles back, half over him, Steve thinks that they're going to go back to holding each other like before. But instead, he feels Tony's hand moving his own, and for a moment, Steve glances over with a patient curiosity. He only sees what's coming though, a few seconds before his hand comes to rest on top of the reactor, and suddenly Steve completely forgets to breathe.

He'd be lying if he said he'd never wondered what this might feel like, but at the same time, touching the reactor has never been something that Steve thought was possible or actively wanted. It had always seemed so intimate and personal of a gesture, one that he wasn't really worthy or qualified to even think about, especially not after what he did to Tony's suit back in Siberia. Though, come to think of it, nothing that's happened in the past 24 hours is anything he could have imagined would ever happen, and yet here they are.

Here he is, absolutely and definitively in love. And close to Tony in ways he never thought he could ever be again.

And god does it mean a lot that Tony's trusting him this much. Steve's eyes glance between where his fingertips meet the casing for the reactor, and Tony — like he still isn't sure what's okay and what isn't, and he's trying to do his best not to do something taboo. And yet, there's a silent awe to way that Steve looks at it, and the way he can see the blue glow reflected in the palm of his hand. That hum too, feels so soothing against his fingers.

"Tony ... I ..." He doesn't know what to say after that. And as he wets his lips, his smile grows wider and Steve just looks at Tony with a sense of admiration. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, he finds his words again.

"You have a lot to be proud of Tony. Especially this." Because it nearly breaks his heart to think that Tony went through a time where he didn't want people to see it. That he was ashamed of it for some reason or another, and it's that thought that leads Steve to start adjusting their position and to guide Tony to lay fully on his back. It's time someone showed him that there's no reason to be ashamed of any part of his body.

God, how is Steve so perfect? Tony feels like he melts at the way he says he's beautiful, and it's a damn wonder he doesn't blush all over again.

When Steve glances up at him as he guides his hand to his chest, Tony's expression is more reassuring. Like letting him know that yes, it's okay. He wants this - he trusts him to be this close to him. He trusts him to touch an extension of his heart. This really is very personal and intimate; Tony doesn't expect Steve to feel that way, but for Tony it is. He has never let anyone get this close this easily, but he doesn't mind it. Not with him. It feels almost natural, and Tony himself feels as if he's growing breathless as he feels the way Steve's fingers feel against the scarred skin. Partly because his skin there is so sensitive, but the warmth that Steve's fingers seem to pass onto him.... it feels better than he could have imagined.

"I'll take your word for it, sweetheart," he answers as he lets go of Steve's wrist so he can brush his fingers along that beautiful blond hair of his. His comment isn't meant to be dismissive, it's just the truth - he'll try to believe that, because Steve is putting a new spin to how he sees the arc reactor. It's hard to see it as ugly, after all; when he's looking at him (and at it) the way he does.

He half expects the conversation about the reactor to stop there, that they'll go back to cuddling or whatever else they feel like doing before they have to go back to reality. But, it looks like Steve has other plans, and with a curious look he moves to lay down on his back as prompted.

"What are you up to, gorgeous?"

Steve leans into the way Tony's hand seems to be tracing through his hair, and closes his eyes for a moment just to enjoy the sensation. The only answer he gives to that question is through the quirk of his lips, and when he opens his eyes again, there's a look that seems to say you'll see.

If he was anyone else, it'd be logical to think that Steve was going somewhere significantly less innocent with this — especially given how he's begun to lower himself down over Tony, and beneath the crisp cotton sheets. Steve only gives him one glance though, before he lowers his lips to kiss the edge of Tony's shoulder, right over the first of many scars. He recognizes this one because he's seen it in war, even if Steve himself couldn't retain anything like this on his skin. It's made by shrapnel, and probably from the bombing in Afghanistan.

"I told you yesterday," he murmurs against Tony's skin, "that you blow me away. I meant it." There's a way that as Steve moves, his lips hover over his skin until the next scar, and Tony can feel the soft way that he breathes. A second kiss comes down just a few inches down on his left shoulder, over what remains from an old gunshot wound, but this time, Steve can't guess when it happened. It doesn't matter though, because after his lips linger over it, the kiss is just as sweet.

"It's not just the reactor," he says, his voice low as he breathes the words into Tony's skin. "Every scar you have stands for something. A moment that you made a choice to not give up. To keep going." The next scar leads Steve to move his entire body down further, so he can kiss Tony's side. This one looks deeper and longer than all the others and as Steve looks down at it, he feels his heart twist just a little.

"I can't imagine what you've been through," he says. "But I can be grateful that somehow, you made it through." When he leans down this time, his nose and his lips brush against Tony's skin at the same time. "That I was given the chance to get to know you."

Edited (Tenses!) 2017-05-18 23:25 (UTC)

Tony is completely unsure of what's coming as Steve gives him that look of 'you'll see,' but he doesn't push for an answer. He's curious, yes, but he's ready to just let Steve do whatever he's thinking of doing.

And, really, it's even better this way. Because, as Steve leans down to kiss the scar on his shoulder, he goes breathless all over again. He's ready to tell him that he really doesn't have to do that, that it's okay, but...god, he'd be lying if he said this didn't feel good. He has never been proud of his scars, especially considering how vain he had been for years as one of the world's most sought after bachelors, and how there are a few scars that...well, have a history that he doesn't think Steve is ready to hear yet, but he finds himself coming undone as Steve kisses him the way he does. The way he breathes against his skin makes him shiver, not out of fear or being uncomfortable, but just because this is definitely not something he's used to and he's enjoying it more than he could have ever predicted.

When he kisses his side, his breath hitches for a moment and he reaches over to brush Steve's hair again with his fingers.

"I'm too stubborn for my own good," he explains quietly, almost playfully, but the look softens as he looks at Steve. Because, really, it means so much to him that Steve thinks that. That he's saying this and doing this, and Tony is just taken aback altogether by how much the gesture makes him feel like his chest is going to burst.

"Maybe I was just waiting for you to come along." It's said quietly, but sincerely as he looks over at Steve. Because right now, that's what it feels like. Despite all the shit they've lived through, or maybe because of it, they're here. Like this. Together. Making them not want to waste more time apart, and...yeah. Maybe this all worked out this way for a reason.

Using his free arm as a sort of pillow to look at Steve a little better, he motions to the scar he had just kissed. "That's my souvenir from my first real mission as Iron Man, you know." It's not said to show off - it's like another veil is being pulled back, letting Steve in if he wants to know more. He knows it's risky, because some of his scars are like land mines of information, but...well. Here he is.

Before last night, Steve never could have predicted that what he likes most about these intimate moments are the little details. He wasn't trying to elicit reactions on purpose, but when he sees the way Tony's body shivers, or how his chest tightens at the hitch of a breath, there's a happy kind of satisfaction in knowing that he can make Tony feel this way. Sometimes, Steve still can't believe it himself that Tony finds him ... something enough to enjoy being together this much. But then he looks up to see that expression on his face, and feels the way he runs his fingers through his hair, and Steve has to believe.

"We both are," he teases, knowing the stubbornness that they've both had to put up with to get here. But when he looks at Tony, there's nothing but adoration in his eyes. And then Tony goes and says that maybe he was just waiting for Steve to come along this whole time, and for a moment, Steve's lips part but no words comes out. It smoothes out though, in the end, into a smile.

"Or maybe, you've always had something to live for."

Before all this, the two of them have never been best friends. Friends, yes, but they didn't stay up late at night talking about their hopes and dreams, or the incredible amount of emotional baggage they both carry around. Steve doesn't know about Yinsen, or details about the things that keep Tony up at night, but he guesses. And while it's true that Steve has never said anything explicitly, he sees the way that Tony fights. All those things he'd said when they first met — about how he's seen the footage, and Iron Man only fights for himself — none of that is true anymore and it hasn't been for a long, long time.

Maybe that's why Steve's always been a little drawn to him, even when he didn't know it. Even though they go about executing it in their own ways, deep down, they want the same things. They're willing to die for the same things, and in a way that no one else can truly understand.

It's clear from the moment Tony gives a little detail though, that Steve's interested. His eyes light up and there's this look that he gives Tony like he wants so sincerely to hear him tell these kinds of stories.

"What happened?" he asks, before gently kissing it once more.

Steve definitely makes Tony feel a good share of emotions, and draws out of him a good amount of reactions out of him, that he couldn't have expected. Tony never believed that this would ever be a fling, or a quick relationship between them. Hell, Tony himself refused to even contemplate this relationship if it meant that. It's just that, despite all of the people he has been with, this feels so new. Something that they're both exploring, and so many things are so unexpected even to him, that he doesn't know what to do with it.

Like this, for example. Steve isn't the first person that has seen his scars and all those signs that give a glimpse of the battles that Tony never speaks about, but he's the first that has taken the time to do this. To put it in so many words. He never doubted Pepper's own love and the way she showed him how much he meant to her, it's just so different, and it's uncharted territory for him as much as it is for Steve.

"Or maybe, you've always had something to live for."

Tony smiles slightly as he brushes his fingers through his hair again, and he gives a small nod. "Maybe. I went a long time without knowing that reason, but...I guess I can't really say you're wrong." Because, while Tony lived his life carelessly and recklessly in every sense of the word - and in a lot of ways he still does - being Iron Man had given him a purpose. He fights for people. He does what he can for those he wants to protect. He'd die for them as needed, without a second thought.

The love that shows in his eyes, though, never leaves his face. "You're part of that reason now, though." You have been, for longer than I've realized. He almost says it, he's even ready to, but he stops before he does so only because Siberia is still something that looms behind them. Behind him, at least, sometimes. He doesn't want to say that and make Steve think that he's putting any sense of guilt on him, because that's not his intention at all, but...it doesn't change the fact that it's the truth.

After all, he still feels paralyzed with fear at the memory of Steve dying, and telling him how he could have done more.

Before his thoughts can drag him to an unpleasant mood, he catches the way that Steve's eyes light up and he can't help but smile. Tony had been ready to stop talking about his scars if Steve didn't want to hear about them, but from what he can see, he actually wants to know what happened.

"I tried to take on a small army when I was going after the people that took my weapons. In the beginning, I mean. Most of my missions were about that, before the team came along. I was on a clean up mission, I didn't... I couldn't let them keep them." For Yinsen. For all the people he let down. All the people that died because of him. Tony still feels that guilt every single day, but he doesn't want to be absolved from it. He doesn't deserve it.

"I got hit pretty hard," he continues. "Hard enough that it...made the suit break and dig into me. I got the job done," he offers with a sort of lopsided grin, as if saying 'hey, it wasn't a total loss!' and a sort of shrug. "Just...earned myself some downtime afterwards."

Steve's in the middle of a kiss when he hears Tony say 'You're part of that reason now' and he lifts his head up to look at him. Tony's teaching him so much really — like how sometimes, a sentence can feel so touching that it makes his chest hurt. He takes a moment to fully process what Tony's just said, and then Steve smiles, and there's a trace of something in his eyes that he blinks away.

And then the story begins and Steve runs his palm over the entire scar, as if he could do something now to soothe the pain that Tony must have felt upon impact. The phrase 'small army' gets him to lift his eyebrows a bit, not in surprise but in anticipation. But then Tony says that he got the job done, despite the hit he took.

"If you got hit hard, I'd hate to see the other guys," he says, quirking one side of his lips. It doesn't surprise Steve though, to hear that Tony's first missions as Iron Man were to make sure his weapons didn't stay in the wrong hands. It sounds just like the Tony he knows, and it makes him that much prouder of him.

"Downtime that you ... took?" he asks, before making his way back up the bed so he can kiss Tony on the cheek and nuzzle himself into the space between his boyfriend's neck and shoulder. One hand remains draped around Tony's waist. After he answers though, Steve has one more question.

"Can I ask you something? I want you to be honest with me," he whispers, gently. After knowing that the entire scar was created by Tony's own suit begs an extremely obvious question — one that Steve feels like he should have asked long ago.

Tony catches the way something crosses Steve's eyes as he smiles, and his expression softens as he brushes his fingers gently along his hair again. He may be awful about expressing his emotions by saying how much he cares about Steve, but Tony is all about gestures. He can't do extravagant gifts here, but...it has been teaching him to at least try to explain to Steve how much he means to him.

Feeling the way that Steve's palm moves along the scar makes Tony's lips twitch into a sort of smile as he talks. His boyfriend is so damn thoughtful, he realizes, that it makes his heart feel like it thumps a little harder against the arc reactor.

"Well not to brag, but yeah I did pretty well despite the little souvenir." The job had been done, and really, ultimately that's what had mattered to him. Because, even if his tone is playful, it's obvious that he's really not bragging. It's just one of those automatic responses that he's so used to giving, as if what he had done is not a big deal. He doesn't mean to do it, it's just really automatic.

At Steve's question, though, he chuckles quietly. "Well. That depends on how you mean. I...worked in the lab rather than going out on missions right away. Does that count?" As Steve moves his way back up, Tony grins when he nuzzles himself closer and he wraps his arm around him. God, has he mentioned how much he loves being this close to him?

"Yeah, of course," he answers just as quietly, holding him a little tighter. "What is it?"

In a way, he wants to Tony to brag. Steve wants him to see himself the way he sees him, and given how Tony had reacted to those compliments earlier — the way he blushed and looked away — Steve realizes now that just maybe, all those shows and expos and the way Tony presented himself back home? Maybe ... that wasn't the real him. Which is why, when Tony's tone sounds playful and he says he did pretty well, Steve smiles before planting one last kiss on that long scar.

"Well ... " he considers, when he hears that downtime means working in the lab, and Steve gives Tony a playful look when he asks, "Did you eat anything while you worked?" Like the answer to that question is what will answer 'Does that count?' but nonetheless, it's clear that Steve's intention is just to tease Tony a little. He knows that at the end of the day, he's not much better.

Once he's all settled though, into the curves of Tony's body, and he gets the green light to ask his question, Steve nudges his face up a little so he can see Tony's eyes.

"How protected are you, inside your suits?"

His voice is still soft, and as Steve blinks once or twice as he waits for an answer, it's hard to miss the protective concern in his eyes. Like it's just dawned on him that despite how protected Tony looks, he's never asked about how much stress it actually puts on his body, and Steve's seen Tony take some hard hits. He'd just ... always assumed that with Tony's genius, his suit would be built to always protect him. Now ... he's not so sure.

Even if Tony knows damn well that he's revealing more about himself to Steve right now than he has in all the years they've known each other, he doesn't clam up or put up the usual walls that keep him shielded from the world. Maybe he should - that would generally be the usual response, but it's almost like Steve is slowly drawing him out of those shadows that he has kept himself in for most of his life.

That is why, when Steve gives him that playful look, his smile is just as playful but it looks more genuine than anything else. There are no masks. He's as real as he can be right now, even in this teasing exchange. "Maybe. Probably? We'll go with sure."

Keeping his arm around Steve, he grins again when Steve is comfortable against him. For a moment he doesn't answer, not because he wants to stall, but just because he's more or less admiring how damn gorgeous he looks right now.

But, right. He asked a question, and he brushes his fingertips gently against the small of Steve's back as he answers. "It's better now. Back then I didn't really wait too long between putting it together and going out on my missions. I couldn't wait. I probably shouldn't have," he concedes with a slight eyebrow raise, "but...you know me." He notices the concern in Steve's eyes and it makes his heart feel like it's being squeezed for a moment. "It's not a big deal, babe. It's protective enough. I promise not all of these are from missions." His tone turns slightly playful again. "Your boyfriend has done plenty of dumbass things to earn him some markings without it being from work."

In that moment when Tony is just looking at him, it's not that Steve forgets what he asked entirely, but there's a second too where, just looking up at Tony makes him feel like he could stare at him forever.

As he answers, that protectiveness melts into something else, and Steve looks lost in thought for a moment. He does know him, he thinks as he smiles, but then again ... Steve realizes there's far too much about Tony that he doesn't know, and he desperately wants to fix that.

He chuckles when Tony refers to himself as his boyfriend though, which, sounds too good to be true.

"I'd like to get to know my boyfriend a lot better," he notes — and there's just a hint of bashfulness to it, even though Steve pushes through that a lot more easily this time. Because while he and Tony have truly been through a lot together, most of it has always been in times of life and death. Steve knows Tony and loves him, because he knows him in the moments that count. But there are millions of other moments in life too, that aren't so dire, that are full of history and stories from his past, that Steve wants to hear about.

"Which ones aren't from missions?" he asks, his blue eyes big and curious, as his thumb gently brushes over and back against Tony's waist.

As Steve listens to him speak, Tony keeps moving his fingertips slowly, gently along the small of his back. He does wonder what he's thinking, but he's content in just watching him process everything because he's so beautiful that it damn near makes him breathless.

"I have no complaints about that," he answers with a soft smile, noticing that hint of bashfulness that makes him feel as if his whole insides go warm. Steve seems to have an easy way of doing that to him, and while it still takes him by surprise, he's growing to love it.

Although he doesn't show it, Steve's question makes him a little hesitant to answer only because there are some marks that Howard made, and Tony really does not want to shatter that image of his friend that Steve has. Even now, even after those things, Tony has grown to be a protector of his father's legacy. He doesn't show that hesitation, though, and instead just leans in to kiss his cheek before lifting his right arm enough for Steve to see the scar along his forearm. "I broke my arm when I was ten. It was pretty stupid, I was home for the summer and decided to try my luck climbing a tree but I didn't do that well." There's more to that story - a reason why he had been climbing that tree, and how his arm had already been broken when he had decided to do that - but. Yeah. Not going there.

"I broke it again when I was older, and had to get it properly fixed, so...scar. I'm sure the lab has left me some markings on my hands, but I can't even tell you what each one is from. I've been tinkering for as long as I can remember. And I have one on my left leg and knee, it..." He sighs with a sort of smile that pretty much says oops. "I, uh. Let's just say I'm lucky it wasn't worse. I was in my twenties, and I kinda...wrecked one of my bikes."

Honestly, thinking more about it, it's really a wonder he's not covered in more scars considering how many times he has wrecked his cars and motorcycles throughout the years. He still remembers how his mother would react whenever he would do that. How Howard would come down on him - not for risking his life, but for scaring his mother. And then how he was almost on a suicide mission after losing his parents. It had been in one of those reckless nights of mourning that he had messed up his leg, but nope. Definitely not going there.

"See? I'm a genius, but I've done plenty of dumbass things before."

Steve really has no idea about Howard, and he never will unless Tony chooses to say something. In his memory, Howard was a little reckless, but other than that, he'd been a friend. Someone who had helped him and Peggy when they'd needed it, even though he never had to. Of course, back then Howard was single, without kids. He changed, but Steve never got to see it.

Steve exhales a laugh, just a little from the amazement of the coincidence, when Tony says he broke his arm when he was ten. But he realizes immediately he should probably explain: "-I um, I also broke my arm when I was ten. Well- That's not true. A kid from school broke my arm. But I got into a lotta fights back then. It wasn't exactly ... unexpected." Said like he doesn't get into a lot of fights now. And Steve does his own kind of omitting too, to Tony's sake. Like the fact that half the reason he didn't die as a child was because Bucky would always come fight those kids alongside him.

"Just one of your bikes, huh?" he asks, as he reaches for one of Tony's hands and starts to shift his own body so that it's facing up. He stays in roughly the same spot though, because he likes the way it feels to have Tony's arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Why do I get the feeling that it's more than one?" But it's clear now too, that what Steve really wants to see are all those little scars on Tony's hands. He's holding one up now, over his face as he looks at Tony's hand in a way that he's never done before.

"All of these are from burns? Soldering?" he asks, lifting his eyes to look at Tony for a moment — for his answer — before Steve goes back to studying that hand again, his thumb brushing over some of the scars. And then, for a second, he places one of his own hands next to it for comparison, and Steve frowns. God. His hand looks like it's never seen a day's work before, and he closes it before he has to think about that any further.

And, as far as Tony is concerned, he would never find out about Howard. But there are many reasons why, when he attacked Bucky, his explanation wasn't that he had killed his parents. Bucky had killed his mother, the one parent that had actually cared and given a damn about him. Not that he had been glad about Howard dying, but considering the man had tormented him whenever he remembered that he had a son... The one that he truly mourned more than anything had been Maria.

He knows the story about his arm is believable, though; it's the cover story he has used for years, after all. The one that he had used with the doctors, with his mother, because no one could know what had really happened, and there's a brief moment when he's glad that Steve believes the story, too.

He even chuckles, when Steve tells him the story of when he had broken his arm. "I'm not all that surprised that you used to get into a lot of fights, actually. Even back then." Because, knowing Steve, he knows that his never-say-die attitude isn't a new thing. It's one of those things that he must have had for years, and really, it's just more of a confirmation that he had been right all along about his guess.

"I'm an excellent driver, just...one that loves to drive a little too fast." He chuckles. "You have that feeling because you'd be right."

While Steve looks at his hand, Tony's busy looking at him instead. There's a hint of adoration that is very obvious to see, because it's hard to not fall in love with this wonderful man when he has such a way of getting under his skin. "Yeah, soldering. Scratches, cuts... I've worked on engines, weapons, robots, cars, motorcycles. I think I would have made a better employee at Stark Industries as anything but the CEO." When Steve places his hand next to his own, Tony looks over then and the smile never leaves his face before he turns to Steve to kiss his temple.

"I guess I haven't changed much," Steve says, and given how pressed up to Tony he is in that moment, his boyfriend can probably feel Steve smile against his neck. "If we ever get back to New York, I could take you on a tour of all the places I got beat up. There's a lotta stops."

As for the driving, all Steve does is give Tony an amused look — one that simultaneously seems to say that he loves him, and that he hopes he never crashes a car ever again.

Engines, weapons, robots, cars, motorcycles. As Steve listens, he can't stop himself from being amazed at Tony all over again. When they're on missions, he never has enough time to appreciate everything Tony's done for the team. In retrospect now, Steve regrets not telling him more frequently, and makes a note to do it more in the future.

When Tony says he would've been better as anything except the CEO however, Steve protests. "Oh, I dunno about that," he says, and even though he could never be fully satisfied on how well he's studied Tony's hand, Steve brings it down to his lips for a soft kiss before sliding it over his own cheek.

"I don't think I could see you takin' orders from someone else."

Right after he says that though, a playful smiles emerges on Steve's face again as he turns to look up at Tony. "Except maybe me." You know, since he's the boss and all. That grin on his face only gets wider though, before Tony can even respond, and soon, Steve's relinquished his hold on Tony's hand, and is turning his body over and sliding himself over Tony again.

"Your left knee, right?" he asks. "That's where the scar from the bike accident is?"

"No, I guess you haven't." He smiles when he says that, especially when he feels the way that he smiles against his neck. "I'd really like that. Not to know where you got beat up, but I'm sure there's an interesting story behind each one."

Noticing the look he gives him, Tony chuckles under his breath. "Hey, I've gotten better at it. Besides, I just go flying now, instead."

And it helps him go faster than a car could let him. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love speeding down a winding road at a very high speed, but at least since the Christmas after Afghanistan, he hasn't totaled another car. He has ruined suits with all the missions that he has been in, but at least his car collection hasn't been impacted lately.

Brushing his fingers against his skin again, Tony smiles again when Steve protests. "Alright, I'll give you that. I'm not the best at that." He catches the way that his smile turns playful, though, and a curious look crosses his eyes as he turns to him. That curiosity morphs into a grin, though, when he speaks again. "Yeah...you're not wrong about that. I can't help that you look so damn hot giving orders, though."

When he says that, Tony can't help the way that his grin turns more naughty than anything else. Because really, Steve giving orders really is so damn hot that it's a huge turn on. Especially right now, right here.

Especially when he's sliding himself over him again, and he can't help but fantasize about the day that he can talk Steve into getting all bossy with him in bed. Because Tony can already feel himself go weak at just the thought, and he smirks. "Mmhm." The scar on his knee and down his shin won't be hard to find, so Tony doesn't bother pointing it out. He's too busy watching Steve, anyway.

Steve chuckles, unsure if interesting is the word he'd use, but he already loves that Tony wants to see his old neighborhood. If they ever get out of here and if there even is a Brooklyn to go back to, he'd really love to show it to him.

What Steve really isn't expecting however, is that kind of compliment. No one's told him so directly that he looks hot before (handsome, maybe), and definitely not in the context of giving orders. For a moment, it's almost as if he doesn't know what to do, and he feels that familiar warmth start to redden his cheeks. But Steve already has a plan for what's next, and with how much Tony taught him last night — having guided him through everything — right now, Steve feels comfortable enough to keep going and maybe courageous enough to fold what Tony just said into play.

He takes a breath and it's somewhat nervous, but by the time Steve finishes exhaling, there's a new and subtly mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Stay still, Tony." It's his first time trying this, so his tone isn't full-on Captain yet, but his voice carries a strength and force alongside it that hasn't existed at all so far.

When he slides himself lower down this time, he takes the covers with him, so Tony never loses sight of him and so Steve can look back up at him whenever he needs to. First, when he's back over his chest, Steve takes a moment to kiss the border of the reactor — right where the casing touches his skin, because he wants Tony to be able to feel it. This part is gentle and careful and loving, because more than anything, that's how Steve feels towards Tony right now, and it's so important to him to establish that before he does anything else.

But once he lifts himself up to slide down further, well, they're both still naked after all, those cotton shirts and everything else probably lost on the floor somewhere, or underneath the bed, and eventually as Steve continues to slide down, and down, and down, he finds himself hovering for a moment over Tony's hips, before he blushes again. This time, there's no bashful smile to accompany the flush. Instead, Steve expression looks soft but unimpeded, even if it has that tint of red. The seconds that he pauses there feels longer than they should be, but after glancing up at Tony, Steve doesn't stay there. Instead, he slides down past it, and moves himself right off the edge of the bed, so that he's kneeling on the floor.

Arguably, it's the only way for him to gracefully get to see the scar on Tony's knee — though he can't deny that it will also serve a later purpose extremely well. But for now, he turns his attention to that scar. He can finally see it, starting right at Tony's knee, and Steve leans forward to press his lips gently down against his skin, taking his time, and giving it all the same love and attention that he gave Tony's others scars earlier.

And then ... comes the part that's already making Steve's heart beat so fast he thinks Tony must be able to hear it. But after everything that happened last night, after the things the Tony showed him last night, and how he made him feel, Steve wants to return the favor, even if he knows this isn't about doing each other favors. It's about love, even if they haven't said it out loud, and Steve wants Tony to know again just how much he loves him.

Slowly, gently, but without asking, Steve takes the edge of the bedsheets into his hands and he pulls downwards, letting the fabric carry Tony down with it so that his legs are dangling off the edge of the bed, and so his hips are right in front Steve lips again.

"Stay still," he reminds him, and after a pause, he adds, "and don't argue." It's said in that same commanding voice Steve summoned earlier, but some of that strength has transformed into something must closer to a unintentionally sultry whisper, because Steve's heart is pounding and the room suddenly feels so quiet that talking feels a little difficult, but there's no doubt in his mind that he wants to do this.

When Steve finally leans in and takes Tony completely inside him, everything that happens after feels like a single, prolonged motion. A continuous rocking back and forth that mirrors the waves of emotions that eases into and out of his chest. In the end, all he cares about is that Tony enjoys this, and that Tony knows that his body — all of it — is something that Steve will never think is ugly, or scarred, but rather something absolutely beautiful.

It's easy to catch the way that Steve blushes when he calls him hot, but by the look on Tony's face it's obvious that he doesn't regret saying it. It's the truth, after all. It hadn't been said to tease him, or to joke about it; Steve is very attractive to him when he takes control. It hadn't been easy to admit it, even to himself, back home. But here, after everything they've already been through and the relationship they have? It's easy to realize it and even admit it outloud.

And if Steve hadn't believed how attractive Tony finds him when he gets bossy, the moment that he tells him to stay still it makes him get a glint in his eyes that is a mixture of intrigued and delighted all at once. For a brief moment he actually considers moving, just so that the full Captain voice can come out as Steve tells him to stay still, but for now he doesn't. He watches as Steve moves while Tony stays perfectly still. After putting his scars out in full display, Tony is no longer shy about the rest of his body being uncovered, and if anything he just gives Steve a sly look whenever he makes eye contact. As if silently reminding him that he's his for him to do whatever he wants.

Tony gasps in pleasure, though, when Steve surprises him by kissing the border of the reactor. He feels himself immediately tempted to pull him in for more, to kiss him, to trap him with his legs so they can kiss because that spot is apparently more sensitive than he could have expected, but...right. Can't move. It just makes that desire for Steve heighten, though, and his body is reacting to it as he hovers over his hips.

But then Steve moves again, and he's kissing his knee, and he had no idea something like this would be such a turn on, but Steve has found a way. To make him feel loved, to make him feel wanted, and to rev him up in a way that makes him just want to take him all over again. He wants to get lost in him again, how they had the night before, and thankfully Steve seems to have a similar idea because he's bringing him closer by pulling the bedsheets down in a manner that is so damn hot to Tony that the desire is clear in his eyes.

And then Steve finds a way to heighten that, because the way he tells him to stay still is just...magnificent to him. It leaves him absolutely speechless, but then Steve finds a way to leave him breathless altogether by the way that he takes him in. Although he had wanted this, he hadn't actually expected it to happen, and god, how in the world could he have gotten this lucky, to be here with Steve? How could this be real? Steve may be new to this, but he's already so good that it's impossible to keep himself from burying his fingers into Steve's hair, wanting to feel him closer as he loses himself in the sense of bliss that he feels wrapping itself around him.

After issuing his very first command in the walls of their bedroom, somewhere mixed into Steve's own insecurities about not being good enough for Tony at physical intimacy, is a confusing yet captivating feeling. It isn't easy for Steve to admit to himself either, that as soon as he tries it, there's something about taking control that he likes, in a flavor he's never felt before. It makes him want Tony more, if that's even possible, and he can feel his own body reacting and his chest tightening when Tony looks at him in that way — with a look that seems to say, I'm yours, for you to do whatever you want.

Back home, and out there in the world, control isn't something that Steve needs. Sure, he helps lead the team and he refuses to budge on his own beliefs, but the driving force behind those decisions is always about fighting for what he believes in, and not imposing his will onto others. He's never thought of himself as the best, or the most qualified to take charge on the battlefield, and on any day, Steve would be ready to follow someone else into the war, as long as it's someone he respects. Someone he doesn't think will compromise on the things that truly matter. Someone like Tony.

Which is why, how he's feeling now about Tony surprises him in ways he couldn't have imagined. Because Steve doesn't have control issues, at least, none that he's consciously aware of. His mother was loving, and his father died before he was born. He lived in a world where young men were volunteering in droves to fight for a cause overseas and he was first in line. All he ever wanted was to do right by people. And yet, here he is. Telling Tony what to do and liking it in some borderline guilt-inducing way. Maybe he'll be able to explain it another day.

When he feels Tony's hands in his hair though, Steve doesn't mind it. He knows that those two commands he's given this morning are probably all that he has in him today, and what he wants now is to feel the rest of Tony close by. Because no matter how fast Steve learns, he's still painfully aware of how new this is to him, and how in his mind, that means he must be so much worse than the people Tony's been with before — so every brush Tony's finger, every bit of encouragement or positive feedback that Tony gives, all of it helps push that feeling down.

At some point, his hands move up to Tony's hips, partially to feel him and partially to get a better grip, and Steve glances upwards long enough to see the effect he's having on his boyfriend. In that moment, he realizes again how much he already loves this man, and how much he desperately wishes he could make Tony feel this happy and blissful all the time.

Just like last night, there are times in which Steve isn't as gentle as he intends to be, because he can feel the way that Tony's getting closer and how he himself is feeling more and more revved up because of it. But as Steve guides Tony to the end, to when he finally loses control of his own body, Steve can't help but hold onto him a little harder. He can't talk, so it's as if through his hands, he's trying to tell Tony that he's here, and that even when Tony feels his most vulnerable, he'll always, always be here for him.

While Steve has never been one for control outside of the field, Tony has been. Maybe it's something he inherited from his father, or maybe it just worked out that way due to his upbringing, but control is something extremely important to him. Generally he's the one that sets the tone, the one that guides things, the one that refuses to comply to people's timelines or orders.

There are two people in his life that have managed to give up control willingly, though, and without regret. Pepper was the first, and Steve was the second. After Siberia, Tony hated himself for it because it made that wound even deeper and harder to close, it felt like he was hemorrhaging rather than being able to just move on. But here, now, after everything they've been through and after the steps they have taken in their relationship... Tony has willingly given control again. This isn't the first time and he already knows it won't be the last.

Hell, he doesn't want this to be the last time. With the way things are moving, and the way that Steve is making him feel, Tony wants more than anything for Steve to take charge. He loves those moments when Steve loses control of his strength, especially when his hands are suddenly at his hips, whenever he holds in too tightly to him or presses too hard. It makes his own grip on him to tighten as his whole body vibrates with pleasure, as if trying to silently beg him to keep doing it. Do it again. Do it rougher. Please, Steve. I'm yours. I'm yours.

And he is. If he hadn't realized that yet, this sure as hell makes it very clear. Every ragged breath Steve draws out of him, every breathless moan that escapes from his throat, it's a confirmation, a promise, and as his whole body is bursting with pleasure, he doesn't care that he has lost that sense of control. If anything, he loves it. He loves that Steve has the ability to make him come undone like this; he loves that he took charge and has managed to make him reach this spot where he feels like his whole body is floating.

He loves him, and as he turns to look at Steve, that love is obvious in his eyes. Which is probably a good thing, because he can't speak just yet.

Panting, and slightly out of breath, Steve doesn't say anything either. Part of him can't believe he just pulled that off, the other part has known all along that he could. The way Tony reacts for him is special, and he knows it, even if he doesn't have anyone else to compare it with.

He doesn't crawl back into bed however, to cuddle, like the way they did last night after something like this — instead, slowly, Steve scoops Tony up in his arms, even if his chest is still heaving faintly. Falling back asleep isn't something they can do this morning, not when Tony still has to go to work, but that doesn't mean Steve can't look down at Tony dotingly as he carries him to the bathroom.

"I love you you know," he whispers, before he can stop himself. For the first time this entire night and morning, he couldn't catch himself in time, and Steve realizes it as soon as the words are out. But maybe he's also riding that sense of calm and satisfaction, because he doesn't panic. Steve just smiles at him before looking up again, to make sure they don't hit a door, but to also to signal to Tony that he doesn't need to hear him say it back.

And if Tony hasn't said anything by the time they get to the bathroom a few short seconds later, Steve will start talking again before he gently lets him down in the shower. "You should shower, get ready. I'll make us something to eat before you go." In another life, Steve would have made an incredible house husband — but the reality of today is that he's suspended, so not being somewhere this morning won't be categorized as treason.

Tony's still riding the wave of the afterglow when he suddenly feels the way that Steve scoops him up, and he huffs out a soft chuckle under his breath in surprise. It's probably a good thing is lifting him up, he thinks for a moment, because attempting to get up after that would be highly unsuccessful. His whole body feels too relaxed, and he has a feeling that he's still weak at the knees.

His thoughts derail completely, though, when Steve tells him that he loves him. This isn't the first time that Steve has uttered the word 'love' between them - after all, he has already thrown him off beyond belief after that first real conversation - but this time Tony doesn't look like a deer in the headlights. He looks surprised, yes, but it's not shock anymore. It's not panic at now knowing what to say, or how to respond.

Instead, once they cross the threshold of the door, he answers just as quietly. "I love you, too." When Steve sets him down, he immediately wraps his arms around his waist, looking up at him with a look that makes it obvious he's not saying it because he feels pressured to say it. He feels it, he knows he loves him, and he brushes his lips against the edge of Steve's jaw. "I love you, Steve."

God it's good to see Tony laugh, especially when it's soft and breathy and Steve can feel how relaxed his body is in his arms and against his chest. It makes him want to cradle his cheek and kiss him again, but instead Steve just smiles down at him — though it really shouldn't take this much resolve just to make it to the down the hall. But there's just a beautiful, gentle way to how Tony looks right at this moment, like he belongs right there in his arms, happy and relaxed and so gorgeous that Steve needs to blink a few times just to make sure this is still reality.

When Tony says he loves him too, though, Steve's eyes wander right back down to look at him. His voice was so quiet, and Steve's nearly certain that Tony said something else, but he heard it. Steve's eyes soften as he sets his boyfriend down. He doesn't expect it either, when Tony's arms wrap around his waist and he looks up at him in with an expression that makes it impossible for Steve to look away.

That second time, when he says it again, Steve is sure that this must be what it feels like to melt from the inside out. Maybe it's because he's still punishing himself for Siberia, but despite everything that's happened, he never thought that this could be possible and that Tony could love him after having hated him so much.

His fingers move up to cradle Tony's cheek, and Steve pauses for a moment to stare into those big beautiful, expressive eyes. A few seconds later a soft smile emerges.

"I warned you that I was falling," he says, looking at Tony like he's the most beautiful thing in the world. And because he wants to say it seriously too, he follows Tony's lead and says the whole thing.

"I love you, Tony."

There's a brief moment where logic tries to kick in, trying to remind him that it's too soon. That he shouldn't be saying this, that he should have thought things through. But, the thing is, he doesn't really regret it because he had said the truth. After the morning they have had, and the things that Tony has already shared with Steve - and after growing as close as they have in the time they have been together...

No, he doesn't regret it, that's why he doesn't take the words back. If anything, he just holds onto him a little tighter as he looks up at him.

"You did," Tony agrees with a soft smile. "Guess you weren't the only one."

Because, well, it's not like that love has just started to develop. It has been growing and settling in, mostly without him even noticing. Steve really has gotten under his skin in ways that he couldn't have prevented, but as he looks up at him...he realizes that he wouldn't have wanted to. Not if it meant feeling like this, and being this happy.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he whispers before pressing a kiss against the side of his neck. "This has been a pretty great morning, you know."

There's a grin that spreads across Steve face when he hears he wasn't the only one. He remembers so clearly how taken aback Tony had been that day in the hospital, and how urgently he'd said he wasn't there yet. But from all the way back then, to where they are now, so much has happened, and all of it is beyond anything Steve could have predicted.

That kiss against his neck makes him turn ever so slightly, so he can press his lips softly against Tony's. It's just one slow kiss this time, before Steve's hands soon find themselves on the sides of Tony's hips again, just like they were a few minutes ago, though ... everything's much calmer now.

"I know," he says, finally, as his eyes open and he pulls back just enough to look at him. "Doesn't have to be over yet. You still have to eat, right?"

It feels so good to have Steve's hands back on his hips, that it's honestly a wonder that he doesn't purr in some way. As it is, he lets out a quiet hum of approval as he kisses him back, leaving very little distance between them.

"I do," he agrees, his fingertips moving slowly along Steve's back again. "...you think I can just...I don't know. Call in sick and keep you company?" He 'steals' another soft kiss before looking up at Steve again, pretending to look innocent but there's a glint of something in his eyes that show that he's anything but. "I mean...you know. Since I got beat up in the Commissary and all, I could just...'rest' here."

Except for the fact that resting would be the farthest thing from his mind, but...minor details.

It's the perfect way to ask him. Even if Steve is running his own investigation right now, the fact that Tony mentions having taken a few punches in the Commissary reminds Steve of the broken rib and how much he wants Tony to take it easy for at least a day.

That less-than-innocent glint in Tony's eyes makes him smile knowingly though, because Steve realizes right then that if he wants Tony to rest, he's going to have to spend the whole day with him. Not that he doesn't want to — god, he can barely let himself think about how much he wants to — but when it comes to weighing what he should do against what he wants to do, this might be the first time in a long while that they've been one in the same.

"You? Rest?" he asks teasingly as their lips part once again, but Steve is already nuzzling himself into Tony's curls. "If you promise you'll actually rest," he says softly, pausing for a moment before adding: "-for part of the day. Then I'll call it in for you."

Tony knows that he's pretty much cheating by bringing up the way he was hit last night, but considering what happened between him and Steve last night, and this morning...he really doesn't care. At all. He's more focused on how good his boyfriend feels in his arms, how good it feels to be held by him. And yeah, he knows that Steve has been busy even if he's technically suspended, but even he needs a day off, right? Especially considering the man didn't even take one after being shot multiple times.

"Of course I'll rest," he almost purrs, especially because of how Steve is nuzzling against him. "I'll even be in bed and everything, if you want me to." His tone is teasing, tempting him. And yeah, making it obvious that he has more than 'resting' in mind when it comes to being in bed with Steve. But, again, he's really not all that sorry.

He presses a soft kiss against the side of his neck. "You're my best medicine," he all but whispers before pressing his lips softly against Steve's neck again, "haven't you already figured it out?"

That tone is working, because Steve can feel the way his body reacts, and how there seems to be a certain tempting quality about Tony that he can't get stop thinking about — especially when Tony says if you want me to. But before he can even be embarrassed or self-conscious about it, he hears Tony say something that drives right into the center of his heart.

In a way, yeah, Steve has figured it out. He remembers every way that Tony seems to melt into him whenever he holds him, no matter how mad Tony was before. Steve remembers yesterday in the dining hall, when Tony never protested getting help to get back to the room, or how later that evening, Tony took his shirt off so he could be treated, even if he wouldn't go to Medical.

Still. Even if Steve remembers all those things, he hasn't internalized them. A few seconds ago, he hadn't even expected Tony to say I love you back, and right now, when Tony says that he's his best medicine, and asks if he's already figured that out, Steve feels such a genuine tug on his heart that he can help but hold his boyfriend a little tighter.

"I know we've talked about this before," he says softly, as he brings his hands up over Tony's body so he can pull him into a hug. "And we'll probably talk about it again. But I don't know what I would do anymore, if something happened to you."

He used to know. He even used to think that he would know how he'd feel when he and Tony are like this, but now, after yesterday, that clarity doesn't feel so piercing anymore. But Steve also doesn't want to tank this entire moment, because everything still feels more perfect than he really thought could be possible. So, as Steve turns to lands his own kiss on Tony's temple, and as he feels that cool sense of warmth from Tony's body, he chuckles.

"Which, is my terrible way of telling you that we are going to be resting today. Even-" A small grin emerges. "Even if that isn't everything we do."

Pointing out that Steve is his best medicine hadn't been said to 'cheat' and be able to stay with him; with how honest he has been all morning, and how he has opened himself up more than what he has in the past, it just managed to come out. It's the truth - the complete, and absolute truth.

Thankfully he doesn't have to explain that to him, or try to convince him of it. Honestly, he wouldn't even know how to.

The hug takes him a little by surprise at first, though, although he's not even sure why, but then Steve says he doesn't know what he would do if something happened to him, and Tony's embrace tightens a little. As if to assure him that it's okay, that he's here with him.

"I guess, lucky for both of us, I'm not going anywhere." His voice is quiet, the playful tone mostly gone because he's trying to sound more reassuring than anything else. And really, it's not like the Complex will allow him to disappear so easily; apparently it had been easier to insert the glowing nightlight in his chest, rather than just let him die so he could come back completely healed.

He realizes, though, that although he tends to be more reckless and 'accident prone' than most considering how sometimes he just barrels through a situation, for Steve he would try to be more careful. Maybe not enough to keep himself out of dangerous situations if he needs to, because like Steve, he can't stay away from those if he thinks he can make a difference, but...he can at least do whatever he can to make it home to him in one piece.

At the way that Steve kisses his temple, Tony finds himself smiling again. Especially when he feels the way that he chuckles, and how that feels considering how close together they are.

"I love you," Tony just answers with a grin after Steve agrees to taking a day off, leaning in to kiss his lips as the arm that he has around his waist tightens its hold a little on him.

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Daycycle 125 [February 5 - February 11]

Daycycle 125

[Feb 5 - Feb 11]

Tony Stark | OTA throughout the day

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Dirk Gently | Morning/Afternoon | Derek/OTA

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uhhhh potentially nsfw

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