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Daycycle 124 [January 29 - February 4]

daycycle 124

[Jan 29 - Feb 4]

[OOC Plotting for this Dacycle can be found here.]

Early Morning [0800 - 0900] — All Troubleshooters Report for Duty

No Specials will be selected for a mission today.

Morning & Afternoon [0900 - 1600] — Service Firm Positions
All Troubleshooters not assigned a mission should report to their Service Firm for their daily duties.

At 0900, Allison Argent will be reassigned to Armed Forces' Very Special Forces firm under Steve Rogers.

At 1300, VIOLET judge Bethany Abbott will be discovered dead in her chambers. Her death will ultimately be ruled murder by poisonous gas. Mind Control will immediately begin running coverage on her accomplishments, including the controversial decision less than a week ago to drop the treason charges against Oliver Queen and Parker and return them to Alpha. Once again, the letters "MOD" will be found at the crime scene. This time carved across Abbott's desk underneath her slumped body.

Gracie Cannell will be pulled from her blog to cover the breaking news due to her Special status.
News of the murder will spread like wildfire across Alpha, inciting fear in higher clearance citizens because VIOLET citizens were believed to be untouchable. In lower clearance citizens, the event will be enough to get ASS vocal again. Within hours there will be anti-special messages spray painted across Alpha.

Evening [1600 - 2200] — Citizen Improvement
All Alpha citizens are encouraged to better themselves through Alpha’s wide variety of educational, entertainment and cultural opportunities offered each evening. Attending these sanctioned events are not mandatory, but is highly encouraged by The Computer. Citizens choosing not to take advantage of these opportunities, have a growing number of other options available to them in how to spend their hard earned credits and free time.

Tonight’s event will be at 1800 in the Wagon Wheel, floor 25, Room H and will be held by the Extreme Ironing Club. This group is for those Alpha citizens who can't get their uniforms wrinkle-free enough. (Though anyone who may attend this incredibly boring sounding meeting, will actually find an established Free Enterprise dice game in progress instead.)

During the dinner rush, at 1900 a group of twenty ASS members in masks and armed with steel bars will form a brief demonstration in the Commissary in which they chant "Down with Specials." If there happens to be any Specials present in the Commissary at that time, they will attack them with malice.

Alpha Curfew Restrictions
All Alpha citizens should be in their quarters within the Wagon Wheel by 2200, unless they’ve been given permission from a GREEN or higher clearance level citizen. Sleeping Aid gas is dispelled each night in the Wagon Wheel at 2200 to assist citizens in getting a productive sleeping period.

Confession Booths
There are hundreds of confession booths available around Alpha Complex if a citizen would like to communicate directly with the computer. Please use these confession booths to report mission statuses, report treason or terrorist acts, unregistered mutants, confess your trespasses against Alpha Complex, request propaganda or speak with Your Friend, The Computer, at any time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Steve isn't the only one that is thinking things - and feeling things - that no one should ever feel or think about during a first date. And, god, he doesn't want to. Mainly because it's terrifying for Tony to feel like that. It always has been, it's really nothing new, but he would be lying if he said that recent experiences hadn't changed that. Not only because of what happened with Steve back home, but with what happened with Pepper. Tony still doesn't quite believe that he's made for this - that he can good at any of this, and it's just a matter of time before life kicks in and crashes this feeling that he feels warming him up from the inside out.

He tries not to think about it, though. Not right now, anyway. When Steve breathes out that laugh, his smile softens even more, and Tony lets go of the counter as he brings himself closer to Steve by now looping both arms around his neck. If for whatever reason Steve hadn't believed Tony's response earlier, or if he doubts how honest he's being, the look on his face says it all. How happy he feels right now - how wonderful this is. How he doesn't want to let go. If anything, when Steve tilts his chin, he takes his time and kisses him. It's not fast or rushed, but the desire for him is almost overwhelming.

The affection for him is definitely overwhelming.

Moving one of his hands, he gently plays with the short hairs at the nape of his neck, brushing his fingers softly against his skin as he lets out a quiet moan of pure pleasure at how genuinely perfect this feels.

Steve's hands run smoothly upwards, only lifting away for only a second to avoid the injury, and then his hands settle again where Tony's back meets his shoulders. He laces his arms around Tony, because he wants nothing more than to hold him close, and it feels as natural as breathing.

Steve doesn't know how this keeps happening, but he loses himself in Tony again — his sense of time and place displaced by the sheer sensation of how he's being kissed right now. There's a softness to it that isn't there when they're too busy trying to savor the few minutes they have with each other on a given night, and if Steve didn't know better, he'd think that this is how people kiss each other when they're in love.

One adoring kiss turns into two however, and it isn't until they gently break to breathe — their lips still brushing against each other's — that Steve opens his eyes again, and his lips part even further in awe when he remembers that he's supposed to be watching the pasta right now. He takes a deep breath in, breathing Tony in, before he exhales reluctantly.

"I don't want to stop," he says, his voice broken by the quiet laugh that's coming out at the same time. Another moment goes by, and Steve's arms just pull Tony just a touch closer as he starts to move his lips down to Tony's neck. Just one, soft kiss, two inches below his ear. "I should really go check on that pasta," he says, quietly and affectionately, before Steve starts to pull back. But even then it's slow and his hands linger.

The only thought that allows Steve to really break away, is that instead of the ten minutes a night they've been spending together lately because of how much he's been working, tonight they have the rest of the evening. It's only 20:00, nothing will be released into the air at 22:00, and he can already tell that he's going to ask Tony to stay the night. Steve'll give him his bed, just so he can have a comfortable space to heal.

He doesn't even bother to taste the pasta before taking it off the stove to drain — it's probably overcooked so he just needs to get it out of the water. A big cloud of steam escapes over the sink when Steve starts to pour. But the noodles are safe, kept inside by the lid he's using as a gatekeeper.

Then, after about another minute, he has almost everything ready. The pasta and sauce as slathered over each other in two bowls, still steaming as Steve goes to pull one last thing out of the fridge. This had been hard to find. He still isn't sure that it isn't some kind of imitation, because Steve has no idea if Alpha even has cows, but he'd tasted it after buying some, and it seemed right.

Parmesan cheese. There isn't a lot, but it's in those two to three inch strips, just like how bodegas sell them back home, and Steve sprinkles it over the bowls before pulling out their forks from a drawer.

There's a moment where Tony's breathless, not necessarily just from the kiss, but from the way that Steve wraps his arms around him. His body feels like it's melting against Steve's. Being here, like this, feels so good. So...safe. It's a sense of comfort that he's not entirely familiar with, and it's not one that he could have expected feeling with Steve, but it's there nonetheless and he finds himself pulling Steve even closer still.

Unlike Steve, when they part, Tony's not thinking of the pasta. He's not even thinking of what happened in the Commissary, or what has been happening the last few days. He's just so wrapped up in the moment that he doesn't even think about anything other than Steve, and for a moment he's even ready to just kiss him again. But...then Steve is talking, and he mentions the food, and Tony breathes out a quiet chuckle under his breath. "Right, yeah."

If it wasn't for the fact that he knows how hard Steve must have worked to make the pasta, and the time he has been planning this for, Tony would be insisting on forgetting about eating. He would be jumping on him right about now, but he has to remind himself not to as he tries to find another comfortable spot on the counter. It's hard to, though, now that Steve isn't right there in front of him - because it feels like that warmth that had been settling into his chest is disappearing now that he's not there.

He doesn't complain, though, because he is thankful for the fact that Steve is making dinner for them. That he's being so considerate. Watching him work is fascinating in its own right, and he finds himself smiling a little to himself. God, what would it have been like to do this back home? To be together, to just...enjoy each other's company like this?

As Steve finishes the dishes, he pulls himself out of his own thoughts and climbs down the counter, moving so he can move towards him and kisses the back of his shoulder. "Smells great. I still can't believe you found all this food, by the way."

It really did take them losing the luxury of time, to realize there is no time to waste. Thinking back, it'll always bother Steve that he hadn't taken advantage of his time with Peggy as much as he could have. The young men who grew up in Steve's time were all prepared to die in the war. They lived and breathed for their country, but they also loved like they might die tomorrow. Except Steve. He waited for the perfect time with the perfect woman, and when he'd found her, he nose-dived a bomber into the ocean.

After his assassination, Steve knew he couldn't do to Tony what he'd done to Peggy all those decades ago. The next time something dangerous happens, Steve doesn't want to spend his last moments alive wishing that he and Tony had spent more time together. That he'd been clearer about his feelings.

"Turns out, being GREEN comes with a few benefits."

The feeling of Tony at his shoulder makes Steve grin softly as he picks up the two bowls, one in each hand. When he turns back to Tony, he leans down for another kiss — it's safer this time, because he knows he can't stay this way if he's holding dinner simultaneously.

"C'mon. Let's eat."

"Guess so," he answers with a grin, and happily returns the kiss. Once they sit for dinner, Tony doesn't waste any time in praising Steve's cooking skills once he takes a bite, and it's a struggle to not just devour everything as quickly as possible. Even if he doesn't generally eat dinner every night, eating this is easy because it's so damn good. And, well, the company helps. This isn't new to Tony, to enjoy Steve's company, but it definitely settles in him that sensation of comfort that he has been feeling since they were in the living room.

It gives him a sense of home that he hasn't felt since he arrived here. It takes him by surprise as the realization clicks and fully settles, but he doesn't let it show other than that warm look that crosses his face.

Once they finish and the dishes are cleared, Tony stretches out slightly. It's a careful movement, trying to get his sore muscles to unlock from how tight they feel even if he's as relaxed as he's going to get, and he keeps himself from wincing when the twinge on his side reminds him that, nope. Stretching is a bad, bad idea.

Reaching for Steve's hand, he gives it a gentle squeeze before pulling him in for a soft kiss on the lips. "Thank you for dinner. It really was amazing, you're going to spoil me if you keep this up."

There are days and moments like this where Steve wonders how deep it goes — how different Tony really is from the invented personality he's learned to put on display for the rest of the world. Because the version of him that Steve is getting to see right now? He's so sweet and kind, and so ... authentic. Maybe, this is the version of Tony that Pepper got to know, working for him all those years — the version of him she fell in love with.

It doesn't surprise him. If Steve got to see Tony like this back home, maybe things would have turned out a little different. Seeing a new side of Tony in Alpha is what had started Steve down this path, after all. And when he sees that warmth in Tony's smile, Steve only thinks of how happy he is that he pushed himself to do something that day in that hospital room.

When he gets pulled in by the hand for that kiss though, it feels like they're picking up right where they left off before dinner, and Steve grins when he hears what Tony has to say.

"Are you sure? Spoiling Tony Stark — didn't know anyone could rise to that challenge." He's only teasing though, it's apparent in the way that Steve's eyes are lighting up right now when they're this close again. But deep down, Steve will always be worried that he won't be able to give Tony the life he's used to, or the life he deserves. Especially here.

"But hey, I was thinkin'." His other hand moves and settles on Tony's hip. "Maybe you could stay here tonight? I've got a bigger bed, and you won't have to deal with roommates. I can sleep on the couch, I don't mind. And you'll heal a lot faster if you actually get some rest."

It's surprising, even now, even after everything, how easy it is to just be with Steve. Becoming someone else - that image of Tony Stark that the world is used to seeing - has always been as easy as breathing. It has always just been easier (and safer) to use that shell, that armor to keep the world at arm's length, because it's normal. He used to use it as a defense mechanism against the shit his father did, because it was easier to pretend to be an image of the son that he wanted to have even if he always failed anyway, and then it just became the norm. He was charismatic, charming. Witty. He was a performer through and through, but Tony has used that as a second skin to the point that sometimes even he himself doesn't know where one ends and the real him begins.

Of course, the real him resurfaces on certain occasions. Like when he's actually comfortable around someone he trusts, or when he's in his element at work. Like when it's easy to breathe, knowing that he doesn't have to perform because there are no expectations.

And with Steve, it's easy to be. Despite all his old attempts to keep his guard up, to not let him in, Steve has gotten under his skin enough to make him feel comfortable enough to just be, and it's why it's easy to be himself. To be a version of Tony Stark that Steve is not used to, and his smile widens when Steve teases him. "That just means that you're doing a really good job at it."

It's not quite a tease, because it's the truth. It's what makes the edges of his words soften, his expression warm as he looks up at Steve while his hand rests on his hip.

His offer to let him stay here with him doesn't quite surprise him, which is why he doesn't really react in shock or anything similar to it, but he manages to keep himself from frowning when he offers to sleep on the couch. "If you don't mind me staying, then...yeah, I'll stay." Maybe he shouldn't, maybe it's too soon, but... "You don't have to stay on the couch, though." A beat. "I promise I'll behave, if that's what you're worried about."

There's an obvious curl to Steve's lips when Tony first says that he'll stay. His eyes glance up at Tony's too, to double-check that he's not teasing, because as much as Steve wants to spend more time together, right now, he's just trying to give someone he cares a lot about the best place to heal.

What happens next though, as Tony's final two sentences come through, puts Steve through a ride of emotions. It's stupid and he knows it, but for some reason, when he hears You don't have to stay on the couch, Steve thinks that Tony's gonna ask him to stay in ORANGE or something. But while he immediately recognizes the thought as not making much sense, it's the reason why his mind is a little distracted when Tony says I promise I'll behave. And then ...

There's just a flicker of confusion that flashes over his blue eyes as Steve processes, looking curiously into Tony's eyes as he says: "Behave ... what do you me-" Suddenly, he shuts up completely, because oh. Oh.

"You don't-" Oh god, he can't stop thinking about it. "No I-" Is he getting red yet? The room certainly feels a lot warmer. "You know?" No, no Tony doesn't, because Steve hasn't finished any of his sentence fragments.

He swallows, trying very desperately to collect himself again. "I just- didn't want you thinking that I was tryin' to take advantage." Ultimately, it's about that, but also about the fact that Steve's never slept in a bed with someone he's romantically interested in before. As a kid, he shared his bed a lot with Bucky, but they were best friends sleeping over at each other's houses, and he knew Bucky's Ma just like Bucky knew his. This though — Steve can't even imagine sharing a bed with a dame, and yet somehow, sleeping in the same bed as Tony walks a rather fine line. They'd been friends before, and in many ways Steve is a lot more comfortable around men, but things are also different now. Steve finds Tony attractive in so many ways and he's still trying to accept the fact that he can kiss Tony whenever he wants to.

Which, speaking of, Steve decides it's time to do again. Cause he certainly isn't doing a good job at talking.

Edited 2017-03-12 18:43 (UTC)

Tony doesn't think much of the way that Steve glances at Tony to double check that he's not teasing, because that would never really cross his mind. Knowing how old fashioned Steve is in all this, he knows that him inviting him to stay at his place isn't exactly a teasing matter, and he appreciates the offer more than he can say. And, again, maybe he should say no. Maybe they need more time before he's here, crashing at Steve's place, but he really does want to stay here. He wants to be here with him, and it really doesn't have to be for anything sexual. He really just wants to be here, with him.

That is why, watching Steve process what he said is all sorts of endearing, and he doesn't laugh or tease him about it. His expression just softens as he gives him a warm grin.

"Sweetheart, I'd never think that you're taking advantage." His voice is as reassuring as possible, tugging him closer. Hell, he's more afraid that Steve will think that he's going to take advantage. Especially considering his reputation from back home.

The way that Steve kisses him makes him relax again, almost melting against him, and the only reason he doesn't take it further is because he doesn't want to scare him. Especially considering Steve's fears of taking advantage.

Pulling back slightly, he looks him in the eyes so he knows he's serious. "All I'm saying is that we can sleep on the same bed. I don't want to put you out. If you're worried about me...doing something I shouldn't, again, I promise I'll behave."

Some part of Steve picks up on the fact that Tony stays calm, that he's grinning and still looking over fondly, that his eyes are serious when he talks — it all helps Steve get his own sense of calm back. Not that the kiss itself wasn't also doing a great job of that.

Tony taking advantage of him though, has never been something that's crossed Steve's mind. Even with Tony's reputation back home, all Steve worries about is that he won't be comfortable going fast enough, and that Tony will lose interest after awhile. But despite all of that, ever since they started doing this, Tony's been ... well, perfect actually. He hasn't pushed, he's been patient, and he's already taught Steve a lot. Truly, Steve appreciates all of that.

"I'm not," he admits finally, and fondly, his voice still a little breathless from the kiss. "You've never given me a reason to worry about that." His hand gives Tony's a squeeze, to emphasize that he means it.

"Tell you what. Let's just see how it feels."

It's a simple enough suggestion, even if Steve doesn't quite realize that the way he's phrased it, coming from anyone else, could probably count as him hitting on Tony right about now.

What happens between now and later blends together though — at some point, Steve makes sure Tony really knows where everything is in the bathroom this time, and he's got towels and an extra toothbrush from some kind of bunker survival kit that he'd brought home from work one day. He also shows Tony, in the bedroom, where he keeps his cotton shirts. He's got about three of them total, one of which Tony is currently wearing, and he's welcome to wear them to bed, if he wants.

But once they're in the bedroom, and the fact that both of them can still barely keep their lips off each other, it isn't long before they're suddenly taking a break to catch their breaths again, as Steve's body has Tony's pressed against the dresser. But it's right then in that second, during the break, when Steve first glances over to his bed, and when he looks back, he realizes that Tony's just glanced at the exact same place.

He doesn't quite show it, but it is very reassuring to hear that Steve doesn't think that he's pushing or taking advantage of him. Because that's very important to him, especially considering Steve's 'newness' to this particular situation that they're in. Especially since earlier Tony had been ready to jump him and now, looking back on it, maybe he shouldn't have just because it is probably very soon for Steve.

But, Steve still feels comfortable enough to invite him to stay with him, and he appreciates it. That is why, when Steve says that they'll see how it goes, he leans up to kiss his cheek in silent agreement.

As they move along his apartment, Tony lets Steve take the lead and to essentially set the pace of whatever he wants to do. If he wants to just go to bed, that's fine with him. If he wants to resume their make out session, well, he sure as hell won't complain. But, again, it's important for Tony to let Steve set the pace, and he doesn't rush or hurry Steve as he shows him around.

Thankfully Steve doesn't really waste time and kisses him, and Tony is more than willing to comply. It's easy, to get lost in his lips all over again, and maybe it's because of that that Tony finds himself looking towards the bed for a brief moment. Biting his bottom lip, as if debating what he wants to say next, he pauses for a moment before leaning in to brush his lips against Steve's.

"We can continue kissing on the bed, if you want," he offers quietly, relaxed as if to convey that he's really not saying it to pressure him. "Or we can just...stay here, and then go to sleep. It's up to you."

He smiles, when Tony agrees by kissing him softly on the cheek. It's a really nice moment.

There's a lot of reasons why, though, that nice moment gets overtaken by a lot more kissing, and in ways that are a lot less chaste. While Steve isn't ready to go fast, he certainly doesn't want Tony to get the impression that he not interested in going at all. In fact, some days it's hard for Steve to actually process exactly how attracted to Tony he really is, because despite his commitment to this, his mind is still adjusting to the idea of it all — that this is okay, that being with Tony is okay — even if it feels like his body is miles ahead in understanding what it wants.

When he hears that near-whisper against his lips, Steve doesn't say anything in response. Instead, after five seconds or so Steve slowly starts to pull back, so he doesn't have Tony pinned against anything anymore, and so he can wrap his arms around Tony's waist and shoulders.

"You can really be the perfect gentleman, you know that?" he asks, his voice hushed as he pulls Tony in for another soft kiss. But the movement doesn't stop there. It's slow, but deliberate, the way Steve start to moves them, one step and kiss at a time, closer to the bed. Because he did say he wants to see how this feels, and it's not like he's going to be able to stop himself from wanting to kiss Tony simply because they're laying down on a bed, instead of standing up.

So yeah, in a way, it's a little scary. Another first of many future firsts. But Steve wants to try this. He knows he does.

Tony can't help it, when Steve says he can be a perfect gentleman, he smirks slightly. He's not trying to diminish what he's saying, it just... Well. Isn't true. But he doesn't argue against it right away, mainly because Steve is already pulling him in for a kiss, and suddenly they're moving. Steve is moving them closer to the bed, and... Yeah, he's definitely not a gentleman because his thoughts are not exactly pure or innocent by any means right about now. If anything, he's finding himself momentarily regretting not urging Steve to do something other than kissing.

But, no. That's just his body reacting, urges that are sometimes stronger than himself wanting to take over. And he can't help it - his boyfriend is gorgeous, in every damn sense of the word. How can he not want to? But he hadn't been lying, in that it's important to him that Steve knows that he'd never rush him. Because, really, he wouldn't. No matter how much he may want to right now, he still wouldn't.

That is why, as they kiss, he just lets Steve dictate the pace. He's trying to let him take the lead. Not only because he wants Steve to be the one to decide, but because there's a moment where he really doesn't trust himself to do so.

Steve feels that smirk instead of seeing it, and he just adds it to his mental list of the new things Tony's shown him since they've started doing this. It makes sense, after all, that you'd be able to feel someone's expressions if you were pressed this firmly against them. And despite whatever Tony might be thinking to himself, Steve can only see his actions. Tony's following him, letting him decide exactly how far they go when Steve knows that this must be so monumentally slow in comparison to what Tony's used to.

Actions say a lot, and right now, they're telling Steve once again that there's a level of sweetness in Tony's personality that he'd never known before Alpha.

The way they move from standing to laying down feels like a slow dance. Steve leans forward, one arm wrapped around Tony's waist to make sure he doesn't fall when he lays back. But as much as Steve wants to try new things, literally laying down on top of Tony isn't something he's ready for yet — at least, he hasn't thought about it enough to know — so he keeps himself propped up with one arm until Tony's fully laid down. It's time to decide, whether he should lower himself or roll over, and in that split second, as his lips linger on Tony's, Steve isn't sure what to do.

Steve may not be well versed in romance, but the way that he moves them to the bed and helps Tony to lay down is enough to make Tony impressed. While one arm is still around Steve, his other hand moves to the front of Steve's shirt, holding on as if he's ready to pull him down closer, but he has to remind himself that he has to be good. That he has to give Steve the chance to decide what he wants to do.

Still, it doesn't change how he almost gasps as Steve's lips linger against his own. It doesn't even matter anymore how he may be feeling physically; if Steve were to be ready, he would be trying to undress him right about now.

But...he keeps his hand where it is. He doesn't let go and, when he does, it's not to move down so he could slip his hand under his shirt. It's only so he can rest his palm against his chest, feeling the way that his heart thumped against his chest, and he presses another kiss against his lips.

The way Tony holds onto his shirt is one of many things that makes Steve's heart pound faster. There's just something different he's realizing, about being close to Tony this way. It feels harder, if that was even possible, to pull himself out of the swell of whatever it is he's feeling right now. Pinning Tony against a door was one thing — shouldn't this be exactly the same action, just ... horizontal? — and yet Steve can't explain it. For some reason, it feels more intimate.

His breathing gets heavier too when he hears that gasp, and Steve just stares right down at Tony, his own eyes reflecting a newfound desire and a hint of fear. Something else inside him too, something he's been feeling gradually ramp up, is starting to get more and more prominent, and when Tony moves to press another kiss against his lips, the way Steve moves to meet him feels hungrier than it did before.

In the end, maybe because he couldn't decide, his body just does it for him, and it's terrifying as he starts to feel how soft and sturdy Tony's body is beneath his. He breathes in, nervous in a way that Tony's never seen him before, before his eyes look to Tony's for reassurance, but then he's there. Not all of his weight is on Tony — one of Steve's arms is carrying some of it, because he still isn't willing to press everything down onto Tony's chest. But god. This. This feels-

"I've always thought-" he whispers, because talking is such a great idea right now, but he's feeling so much and Steve doesn't know how to handle it. "I've always thought you were beautiful." Beautiful, a word so pure that it doesn't match the breathiness in his voice right now, or the way he's kissing Tony. But Steve doesn't have the right vocabulary. Steve Rogers doesn't say hot or sexy or any other word belonging to that family. At least not yet.

This is definitely more intimate, which is why he's having such a hard time keeping his thoughts from derailing somewhere where they shouldn't be. Because his instincts want to take over and incite Steve into rushing this, but no. He knows better. He really does.

It's just... God, the way that Steve's breathing deepens against him feels like it's undoing him entirely. Especially as he stares at him, and the desire that Steve is feeling is reflecting all too easily in his own eyes. It makes the kiss even sweeter still, and he easily kisses him back just as hungrily as he breathes him in.

When he notices the nervousness in Steve's features, he moves his hand up to brush his thumb gently against his cheek. As if reassuring him that way, to let him know that it's okay. That it's really okay, and he feels so damn strongly for him right now that he's willing to wait for an eternity if Steve were to ask right now just by how he's looking at him.

At his words, a soft smile crosses his lips even if he feels his cheeks reddening slightly. He has heard a lot of compliments in his life before, but hearing them from Steve is...entirely different, because to say he's flattered is an understatement. In a quiet voice, "You're wonderful, you know that?"

That touch of reassurance he gets from Tony blends a drop of excitement and hope to what's already in Steve's eyes. Because god does Steve appreciate it that Tony isn't rushing him, that he's guiding him and being patient with him. Mostly because Steve knows himself — or at least, he knows what he's like when women have pushed him in the past. He knows that often, he'll just go along with the path of resistance. It's something that just happens, even if it doesn't match up at all with the rest of his life. But somehow, always, when it comes to this, Steve is too much of a pushover, and there's a high chance that he'll immediately regret what he lets himself into. Like with Private Lorraine in-between those bookshelves in the bunker. Like with Morgana, and the way he should've seen it coming.

But Steve didn't. He never sees this kind of thing coming. Which is why Tony letting him set the pace means so much. He'd behave, Tony had promised, as Steve blushed at the thought only a feet few away from the bed they're laying in now. Steve doesn't know for sure, but he imagines what Tony's doing with him is hard. He's seen the way women throw themselves at Tony, at a much more frequent rate than they ever did with him. Later, when he isn't so consumed by the way Tony feels against him, Steve will realize that maybe, by taking things slow, some of this is new for Tony too.

Right now however, he first sees that red in Tony's cheeks — is he ... blushing? Steve's never seen Tony Stark blush in his entire life, and then Tony nearly whispers those last words and when Steve next breathes in, his exhale sounds more like a whimper than anything else. But it's not because Steve's about to cry; the doting grin on his face should make that abundantly clear. His chest just hurts for some reason, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that it's not pain.

Four days ago, he told Tony that he thought he was falling in love. Apparently this is what that feels like.

He remembers, because this is what that night at the Ball felt like. This is what the wind felt like when it blew away the wet tears on his face when Steve had first convinced himself that wanting Tony was okay. And beyond those moments, Steve doesn't even have the right context to know that it's fast. Probably too fast, by normal standards. But he doesn't care, or know to care about that.

Which is why, in the end, his answer to Tony's question is another kiss. It's hungry, like the past few have all been, but the way that Steve's free hand moves to cradle Tony's face and the way his lips seem so unwilling to leave Tony's even for an instant — it's all motivated by love, and Steve is just starting to understand that it's what's been swelling inside him this entire time.

This, not giving in to the way that his hands want to roam along Steve's body, or pull him in closer still, is definitely hard. If Steve would have pulled away already, would have said that they couldn't continue this for the night and just wanted to sleep, Tony wouldn't have objected. But with the way that Steve is kissing him, the way he holds him, it makes his brain go haywire, and it's as if his instincts want to take over.

He has to remind himself that he can't, though. Because really, ultimately, giving Steve space and time to figure out the timing that works for him, is what he wants. The last thing he wants is for Steve to ever feel like he rushed him, like he did something that he didn't want to. Tony would absolutely hate that, so no. It may be difficult to not kiss him how he wants to, or to wrap his legs around him to bring him closer how he aches to do, but ultimately this is what's best.

Even if, God, that whimper Steve lets out makes him instinctively hold him a little tighter. Does Steve even realize how much he wants him right now? It's something he wonders about, because he knows that his eyes are probably reflecting that desire more than he'll ever be able to properly say. And it's more than he'll ever be able to admit right now, considering his attempts to not pressure his boyfriend.

With that kiss, though, he can't help but kiss him back just as hungrily. It's almost desperate, as if he needs Steve more than he needs to breathe right now, and he unconsciously pulls him a little bit closer as a soft moan escapes his throat. It's not on purpose, and it's not in pain - it's far from it, actually. He just can't contain it anymore, not with the way that Steve is kissing him.

It says a lot that right now, Steve's completely forgotten about anything else that's happened tonight. The fight in the cafeteria, dinner, the fact that Tony's side is still bruised — all of that might as well have happened a week ago, because they feel like distant, distant memories compared to how Tony feels beneath him right now.

That desperate kiss, paired with the way that Steve can feel Tony breathing beneath him, is absolutely entrancing in a way that he's never felt before. God, Tony is absolutely entrancing in a way he's never felt before. The little ways that he's holding him tighter makes Steve want to do the same, but it isn't until he hears that moan that Steve feels like his entire body is reacting, and that it wants something he doesn't know how to get.

His left hand slides slowly down from Tony's shoulder and onto his chest, resting there as they kiss, and all Steve wants to be is closer. Unconsciously, he takes a fistful of Tony's shirt, which tugs the neckline down, but Steve's eyes aren't open. Instead, as he feels the way their lips move together, Steve's thinking about something that Tony showed him a few days ago. Something he was a little scared of, but was also a little thrilled by. Something he thinks maybe, will bring them just a little closer right now.

And god does he feel self-conscious, because Steve's never thought this much about his lips or Tony's lips in his entire life. Still, he wants to get this right, even if he has no idea how, and in the end, it's halfway during a kiss that Steve's brave enough to brush his tongue right up along the inside rim of Tony's upper lip. There's a slow, steady and sensuous way that Steve pulls back after that, lingering there with his lips brushing against Tony's before he really finishes the kiss. That's when he opens his eyes again, slowly, and the way he searches Tony's expression gives away the fact that he wants to make sure he didn't do anything unwelcome.

What Steve sees however, is the complete opposite of that.

Which is why, the next kiss Steve leans down to give Tony carries with it even more courage. It's deeper, more urgent, more desperate, and god, suddenly, he feels himself nudging his way into Tony's mouth and Steve is so terrified that he's doing something wrong, but he keeps going, because soon enough Tony's still kissing him back, and kissing him in ways he didn't know was possible.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he does remember what happened tonight, only because he feels the twinges of pain shooting up at random moments, but he doesn't react. He's so wrapped up in what he's feeling, in what Steve is making him feel with every touch and every kiss, that it might as well be numbing him out.

Especially when he tugs the neckline down of his shirt, and Tony unconsciously writhes a little against him as his body is trying to push itself closer to Steve as he continues kissing him. Without even noticing what he's doing, his hand trails down along Steve's side until he gets to his waist, and now it's Tony's turn to take a fistful of the hem. It's not until he feels the warmth of Steve's skin brush against his fingers that he realizes what he's doing, and he forces himself to stop from completely letting himself roam Steve's skin, but he holds onto his shirt for dear life as if that way it'll help him with that goal.

It feels like it won't work, though, as he feels Steve's tongue against his lip. It makes a soft ragged moan escape from his lips almost like a gasp, because god, Steve is seriously better at this than he gives himself credit for, and that desire that is burning through his veins is all that he can think of.

No, he didn't do anything unwelcome. If anything, Steve is finding out ways to unmake him in the best way possible, and he latches a leg over Steve's as he welcomes him back to his mouth. As if to encourage him, to let him know that he's doing perfectly fine even if he's probably going to need a cold shower after this, but it's worth it.

This - Steve is absolutely worth all of it.

Steve never knew how sensitive his waist could be until he feels Tony's fingers there, and the near-gasp he reflexively inhales is almost enough to make him break their kiss. It surprises him too, how much he likes the way Tony is grasping his shirt, and how much it makes his body inch towards that touch.

Then he hears that moan come up from Tony's throat and he can't help but feel a certain sense of pride he's never had before. When it comes to first times, it's not just about what Steve has never done. It's also about what he's never gotten other people to do. He's made thousands of people gasp and cheer and clap, but he's never made anyone moan. At least, not that he knows about.

Tony's leg interweaves them further and Steve feels the way Tony's lips react to the way he's prompting them, and part of him just wants to do this forever. Like a kid at sixteen who's just had his first real make-out session, Steve is starting to understand why people do this and never seem to want to stop. Everything feels so perfect and right and-

Natural. He wants to think it feels natural, but as soon as he does, a pang of guilt bubbles up inside his chest, like his feelings aren't valid, or that he has no right to feel this way. Like he's doing something that he should feel ashamed of. That he's doing something wrong. But even if it causes Steve to hesitate, he doesn't stop kissing Tony, or holding onto him so desperately. That sense of what is or isn't natural has been so pounded into him that Steve isn't sure if that feeling will ever go away — he hopes that one day, it will — but right now, he stubbornly refuses to let it ruin this.

He loves Tony. He knows that now. Falling in love has become fallen in love, and he refuses to let his past take that away from him. Not this time. Not right now.

You could almost see it as an act of rebellion then, when as they kiss, Steve finds his left hand letting go of Tony's shirt and traveling down to his waist. Cautiously, tentatively, slowly, Steve's fingers trace just beneath the hemline, his fingertips as soft and light against Tony's skin as the cotton fabric itself. In the next second, he pulls the bottom of the shirt up a few inches — just far enough for Steve to slide his entire hand beneath it and onto Tony's skin.

He runs out of breath though and his heart is starting to pound even harder than before, so as the warmth of Steve's hand begins to spread itself around Tony's side, Steve lifts his lips off of Tony's, just for a minute. Just so they can catch their breath, even if what Steve's doing simultaneously ... seems to only make him want to breathe heavier.

Tony feels the way that Steve inhales, how he inches towards him, and it just manages to rev him up even more. As he continues to hold onto his shirt, he presses the side of his fingers against his skin, as if trying to see how much he can get away with, hopefully without ruining things. If there's even a second in which Steve shows any signs of him not wanting Tony to touch him like this yet, he's ready to pull back, but for now he's just savoring the way that his skin feels. How warm he is. The tone of his muscles, the way he can feel him move, and goddamn, it feels like he's getting lost in the whirlwind of emotions that Steve is drawing out of him.

It's more than just attraction that he's feeling right now, though. It's more than just being turned on by the way that Steve is kissing him, the way he feels against him. It scares him - terrifies him, really - to feel like this, because he knows what this will lead to. He knows what this is. This isn't the first time that Tony has been in love, after all, but he knows his track record. He knows what generally happens and what he generally does when he's in love. There's always something that goes sideways, something that he screws up, ways that he can't quite get it right because apparently Tony Stark just wasn't designed for this kind of thing, and for a moment he even contemplates stopping this. Because shouldn't he at least warn Steve that he's a disaster when it comes to this?

He doesn't want to mess this up, though. That's not new, either, because he has made those resolutions before, but...maybe this time it really can be different. Maybe they can get this right.

God, he wants to get this right. It's an overwhelming sensation that makes him hold onto him a little tighter, kiss him a little deeper, as if silently committing even if he hasn't managed to even gather enough courage to fully admit to himself that he's in love with this man.

Especially when he feels the way that Steve's hand moves. The way his fingertips brush against his skin, and another moan escapes his lips as his hips thrust a little against him. It's entirely unplanned, but the way that Steve's hand is suddenly against his skin - his body is just reacting to the touch. To how electric this feels, to how much he wants him. He knows the intent of why Steve pulls back, but Tony is also having a hard time doing so. Because he's so much into this that his breathing is ragged, and he wants to just pull Steve in again.

He doesn't, though. Not for now, anyway. Instead, with how close Steve is to him right now, he leans in so he can press a kiss against the side of his neck. It's slow, his breathing still out of sync as he presses his lips against his skin, but the kiss lingers for a moment. He can feel Steve's pulse and the way it seems to vibrate against his skin, and his hand lets go of his shirt so he can move his hand along his skin until it reaches the small of his back. "Is this okay?" he breathes against his neck before pressing another small kiss against his neck.

There's really no question that he wants it — even if Steve isn't completely sure what it is supposed to be right now. He can't see the endgame, because to be honest, he's never imagined being that intimate with anyone, not even in his dreams. But right now, when he feels Tony's fingers wander a little more, he knows he wants Tony to be there.

It isn't until he feels that little thrust against his own hips though, that Steve becomes incredibly aware of how vulnerable his body feels right now. Because however Tony just moved electrified him, and now the nerves in his skin are reacting all at once, and all Steve wants is to feel it again — for Tony to do that again. But he doesn't know how to ask, just like he doesn't even know what it is that Tony did, so instead, when he does break that kiss, Steve focuses on something simple that he knows the name of: desperately trying to catch his breath.

He had no idea someone could make him, or his body, feel this way.

"Mmmnhn-" The sound seems to be all that Steve can manage in response at the moment, when Tony's lips are on his neck and his hand is beneath his shirt and pressed perfectly along his back. A moment ago, Steve thought it would be impossible to be any closer than they already were. Because the only space left between them are the thin milimeters provided by their clothes. But as both he and Tony reach beneath each other's shirts, Steve realizes how wrong he really was. To accommodate their hands, both their shirts slide up just enough, and for the first time, Steve feels an inch of his stomach press against Tony's and it feels so smooth and hot, and he wants ... god he wants ...

... again, he doesn't know how to put it to words. All Steve knows is that his own breath has turned ragged and he's doing his best to hold in a whimper — one that ends up coming out anyway instead of words when he tries to speak.

But Steve tries again.

"T-Tony," he starts, in a breathy, soft whisper, and his voice is so quiet that the only reason Tony can even hear him is because of how close they are right now. And god, Steve knows he's turning red, he can feel the heat in his cheeks just like he can feel the nervousness in his chest and the desperate hope in his eyes, as he glances at Tony's. "Sh-Show me? How to do this?"

Edited (Grammar and stuff ) 2017-04-22 22:51 (UTC)

That sound that Steve lets out, the way the word seems to vibrate against his neck and onto his lips, feels as if it takes his breath away in a whole new way, and he breathes him in. The way he feels, the way his scent is everything that he can sense. He wants to get lost in it in every way, and he kisses his neck again. He's trying to focus on that part of his body, on the parts that his body is touching, to memorize the sensation. To drown in it before it all ends - because he assumes that it will - and he lets out a quiet 'hmm?' when Steve says his name.

But then he turns to look at him, and he sees his face and that look in his eyes, and...wait, what? For a moment it feels like maybe he's just imagining this - maybe he's just dreaming it because he wants it so damn badly, but that look on his eyes tell him that he heard correctly. That Steve really does want this, and Tony leans up enough to kiss his lips. It's a silent answer, a quiet way to tell him anything you want, sweetheart, because he doesn't trust his voice right now, and he slips his other hand along his side so he can move to rest it against his hip. As he kisses him, he also waits a moment to continue, as if to give Steve an out in case he doesn't really want this and it had been just something that happened in the heat of the moment - only because deep down he's terrified that Steve will find himself regretting this later - but, when it doesn't happen, he slips his fingers beneath the spot where his jumpsuit is folded at the waist.

"Just move with me, okay?" His voice is still quiet, breathless, but it's still patient. Reassuring. That silent I've got you, I promise as he looks up at him before he kisses him again. His hips thrust again, but this time with his hand on Steve's waist, he helps to guide him, to show him how to move his body. As if to show him how to do this first with clothes, to help him without necessarily rushing him. His fingers inch a little further down below the waistline of the jumpsuit, and he teasingly bites his lip.

"And you're sure, baby?" His lips are barely apart from Steve's, and he gives his side a gently squeeze.

Daycycle 124 [January 29 - February 4]

daycycle 124

[Jan 29 - Feb 4]

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