duelo: (вυт ι ℓσνє тσ яєα∂)
derek hale ([personal profile] duelo) wrote in [community profile] alphalogs 2016-11-28 12:40 am (UTC)

The patience Derek exhibits for Katniss isn't anything special; he likes to pretend he hasn't got the patience for this thing or the other, but Derek Hale has the patience of a saint. For Katniss, he takes no issue with displaying the virtue because she's the first person he's ever met who really and truly, one hundred percent understands how he feels and what he's been through. Her own circumstances don't match exactly, but of course they don't. The feelings, however, the guilt and shame and self-loathing? Those are all exactly the same. So Derek isn't willing to just walk away or turn his back because she's taken too long to make a decision. If he can't have her, then he can at least wait to let her decide whether they can be friends, because Derek has precious few of those here and even less at home.

Derek smiles a little at her response. "I didn't think you were; that's not really what I meant. I think we both know that you're fighting it and trying to tell yourself that it isn't there when we both know that there's something. That's what I meant. Stop fighting it. Just...feel what you feel and let the chips fall where they will."

One of his hands moves to hold the side of her face, a large palm cupping her cheek and his thumb brushing affectionately over her cheek as he pulls back to look at her. He hasn't put himself out there like this in a long time. Every single time he does it, she ends up being a psychopath or, in Braeden's case, her mercenary work — which he supposes some would consider psychopathic, anyway — became far more important than he could ever be. Inevitably, Derek will always be waiting for the same to happen with Katniss, but he can revel in the moments before it, can't he? He can pretend that right now is the way things will always be, right? Innocent and curious and afraid; not malicious or hateful. He can't imagine Katniss ever turning out like Kate and Jennifer, but then...he hadn't been able to imagine Kate or Jennifer turning out the way they had, either. So for now, he's just going to hope for the best; hope that Alpha Complex and the fourth time are charms. "Can we do that...? ...can you do that...?" He knows it's asking a lot, after all.

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