Sometimes Derek feels like he's setting himself in circles. Much the way he'd shown Felicity interest only to feel sort of run around before Natasha gently let him know he was pretty much wasting his time, Katniss is probably giving him a less than subtle hint that he needs to back off and move on. Derek's just never been very good at taking subtle hints; he needs someone to beat him over the head with the reality stick before it actually sets in. Where is Natasha now to help a bro out?
The problem is that Derek falls hard and fast and Katniss isn't giving him any concrete reasons not to let it happen. She's closed off but not to him. She's close to him; she's tactile with him. She tells him things that she says she doesn't tell anyone else. She came to him last night instead of her sister — or anyone else, for that matter — for comfort when she needed it. These things all point to the fact that Derek's growing feelings, however semi-undefined at the moment, are mutual to some degree. There's more than a physical attraction between them. In fact, Derek would wager that the emotional attraction is stronger than the physical one. Katniss is pretty, he's not going to pretend that he hasn't noticed that, but he thinks that maybe she's more attracted to something Derek can't control on his end. For whatever reason, he makes her feel safer. Derek's happy to provide that, but he has a feeling that's where the attraction stems on Katniss's side. He can nurture that if she lets him, but she has to let him and it seems to Derek that she wants to, but she won't allow herself.
Ironically, however frustrating that is, if the tables were turned, Derek would be behaving exactly the same way.
"I don't know what you want me to say here, Katniss," he admits. It feels like she's looking for a specific answer to that question and Derek doesn't know. There are a lot of reasons he suspects have a hand in it, like the fact that she reminds him a lot of himself and his sisters after the fire, so he feels like he's meeting someone who gets him for the very first time. Maybe he just needs someone to take care of and she fills the niche. Maybe it's that she managed to get him to come out of his shell a little, granted with the help of some drugged coffee, but he's not drugged now and he's still dancing.
She says she's not used to people liking her and Derek almost laughs because, well...story of his life. People don't generally like Derek, because they never try to get to know him at all and Derek has a very prickly exterior that he shows the world. Only the people who put forth an ounce of effort or give him the idea that they might actually give a shit get to see who he really is. It's why people like Buffy, Alcide, and Katniss each individually know him better than everyone in McCall's pack combined. McCall's pack never actually cared. He suspects these people, for whatever reason, do. "Stop living in the past. It's over; it's done. Your sister is alive. You're not home. You get to start over here, so why do you keep forcing yourself into that same tiny box? It's not worth it, Katniss. This place isn't much, but there is one thing I can give it credit for: there are some very good people here worth knowing. And it's a get out of jail free card."
He closes his eyes and sighs softly, his cheek still against hers as he holds her close. They're barely moving at this point, he's slowed their swaying pace so much. "Whatever happened back home...it's over now. This is a new life. You can shit on it or you can embrace it, but I can promise you, the latter feels a lot better."
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The problem is that Derek falls hard and fast and Katniss isn't giving him any concrete reasons not to let it happen. She's closed off but not to him. She's close to him; she's tactile with him. She tells him things that she says she doesn't tell anyone else. She came to him last night instead of her sister — or anyone else, for that matter — for comfort when she needed it. These things all point to the fact that Derek's growing feelings, however semi-undefined at the moment, are mutual to some degree. There's more than a physical attraction between them. In fact, Derek would wager that the emotional attraction is stronger than the physical one. Katniss is pretty, he's not going to pretend that he hasn't noticed that, but he thinks that maybe she's more attracted to something Derek can't control on his end. For whatever reason, he makes her feel safer. Derek's happy to provide that, but he has a feeling that's where the attraction stems on Katniss's side. He can nurture that if she lets him, but she has to let him and it seems to Derek that she wants to, but she won't allow herself.
Ironically, however frustrating that is, if the tables were turned, Derek would be behaving exactly the same way.
"I don't know what you want me to say here, Katniss," he admits. It feels like she's looking for a specific answer to that question and Derek doesn't know. There are a lot of reasons he suspects have a hand in it, like the fact that she reminds him a lot of himself and his sisters after the fire, so he feels like he's meeting someone who gets him for the very first time. Maybe he just needs someone to take care of and she fills the niche. Maybe it's that she managed to get him to come out of his shell a little, granted with the help of some drugged coffee, but he's not drugged now and he's still dancing.
She says she's not used to people liking her and Derek almost laughs because, well...story of his life. People don't generally like Derek, because they never try to get to know him at all and Derek has a very prickly exterior that he shows the world. Only the people who put forth an ounce of effort or give him the idea that they might actually give a shit get to see who he really is. It's why people like Buffy, Alcide, and Katniss each individually know him better than everyone in McCall's pack combined. McCall's pack never actually cared. He suspects these people, for whatever reason, do. "Stop living in the past. It's over; it's done. Your sister is alive. You're not home. You get to start over here, so why do you keep forcing yourself into that same tiny box? It's not worth it, Katniss. This place isn't much, but there is one thing I can give it credit for: there are some very good people here worth knowing. And it's a get out of jail free card."
He closes his eyes and sighs softly, his cheek still against hers as he holds her close. They're barely moving at this point, he's slowed their swaying pace so much. "Whatever happened back home...it's over now. This is a new life. You can shit on it or you can embrace it, but I can promise you, the latter feels a lot better."