duelo: (тнє ωσя∂ѕ уσυ υѕє∂)
derek hale ([personal profile] duelo) wrote in [community profile] alphalogs 2016-10-21 03:57 am (UTC)

The physical reaction Katniss has is very similar to the emotional one which is overtaking Derek in that moment when they separate and it's hard as hell to see that look on her face, knowing that he put it there; hard as hell seeing the way she closes her body language off to ease the void he's created, but as he pants to catch his breath, he's nodding.

Possibly, the worst part is that he doesn't want to stop, but he knows himself too well and he knows that something isn't right. It isn't like him to pour himself into another person like that anymore. He's been burned too many times before, and to fall back into bad habits with complete and total abandon — in plain sight of anyone who happens to be passing by or waiting in line for a consultation — is...off.

"We have to. Yeah, we have to," he says and his expression is pained at that, because again...he doesn't really want to go back to work now. "I feel weird. This is weird, this isn't...we can't do this here. Not right now." Which sounds a lot more leading than he actually means for it to, but the right words don't seem to want to come out. They need to wait. They need to wait until they both feel like themselves again, he thinks, because if something's wrong with him and something might also be wrong with her, then what about this is actually consensual? That makes him think of Peter and what his uncle had done to Lydia and if there's one person Derek never wants to emulate, it's Peter. "I can't. I...we can't. We can't...do this," he insists. The words feel equal parts right and wrong on his tongue, but he spits them out anyway. "I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry...I'm sorry," he breathes, scrubbing his face with one hand.

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