The way that he's watching her suggests to Lydia that he can tell there's something else on her mind, but she decides she isn't ready to share it, so Lydia plays coy instead.
"What?" she asks with a soft laugh, blushing. She presses herself against him a little before reaching for the shampoo, meaning to steer them clear of her having gotten cold feet. "Your turn," she tells him.
Another time, she promises herself. When they're in bed or something. When it feels less terrifying; when it feels less like he'll run away. It isn't anything that Matt's said or done which makes her feel that way, of course, she just hasn't felt it or said it to anyone in a long time. Certainly not a man this much older than she is. Lydia always aims for men a but older, but Matt is the first time she's actually been with someone more than two or three years her senior and while they've long since hopped over that particular hurdle in their relationship, it's still a little scary to try to jump the next one — telling him how she really feels — alone knowing that the first thing that took them a while to grow comfortable with could make this new hurdle that much higher. Because, as much as she tries to tell herself that it's okay if Matt doesn't feel the same so long as he stays, a part of her knows that's not true. A part of her knows that'll hurt in a crippling sort of way and she's not ready to hold her head high and pretend that it doesn't, not yet.
Closing her eyes, she slips under the water to rinse out the shampoo from her own hair before running her free hand over her face to get rid of the excess water. Then she opens her eyes and starts the process of washing Matt's hair. Once she's got some shampoo in there, she sets down the little bottle and goes to work massaging his scalp to build up a lather. "Nice, right?" she asks playfully.
NSFW
"What?" she asks with a soft laugh, blushing. She presses herself against him a little before reaching for the shampoo, meaning to steer them clear of her having gotten cold feet. "Your turn," she tells him.
Another time, she promises herself. When they're in bed or something. When it feels less terrifying; when it feels less like he'll run away. It isn't anything that Matt's said or done which makes her feel that way, of course, she just hasn't felt it or said it to anyone in a long time. Certainly not a man this much older than she is. Lydia always aims for men a but older, but Matt is the first time she's actually been with someone more than two or three years her senior and while they've long since hopped over that particular hurdle in their relationship, it's still a little scary to try to jump the next one — telling him how she really feels — alone knowing that the first thing that took them a while to grow comfortable with could make this new hurdle that much higher. Because, as much as she tries to tell herself that it's okay if Matt doesn't feel the same so long as he stays, a part of her knows that's not true. A part of her knows that'll hurt in a crippling sort of way and she's not ready to hold her head high and pretend that it doesn't, not yet.
Closing her eyes, she slips under the water to rinse out the shampoo from her own hair before running her free hand over her face to get rid of the excess water. Then she opens her eyes and starts the process of washing Matt's hair. Once she's got some shampoo in there, she sets down the little bottle and goes to work massaging his scalp to build up a lather. "Nice, right?" she asks playfully.