A humorless huff of a laugh escapes Derek at her response and he smiles a little. nodding. "No, you wouldn't notice unless I wanted you to," he points out, but that's easy enough for him to say because he knows how the wolf works. Katniss doesn't. So, he continues. "Up until earlier, I didn't even have access to it...I thought they took it away, that part of me. But if I did have it, you wouldn't notice unless I wanted you to, because I can control my transitions at will."
He shifts a little, out of the time-for-sleep position, propping himself up just a little bit so he can look at her without craning his neck or her having to crane hers. "A werewolf is...a man or woman who...can turn into a wolf, sort of. Like, a wolfman or wolfgirl, with a hairier face and eyes that glow; fangs, claws...we look like monsters, but not all of us are. I'm not a monster," he says softly.
Somehow, even though Katniss is probably grappling to understand an entirely foreign concept, the fact that he's told her lifts a weight of his shoulders that he hadn't actually realized he'd been carrying since Adam was given his memories. Now, if Adam told, oh well. No one that he cares about will be learning anything new. Buffy knows, Alcide knows, and now Katniss does. Everyone else is inconsequential; Derek doesn't give a shit about them.
"But I felt that part of myself again for the first time since I got here, so the wolf is still inside me somewhere, I just have to figure out how to access it again. It makes me stronger. Faster. I have better senses than humans. I could protect you better; protect Prim," he offers.
no subject
He shifts a little, out of the time-for-sleep position, propping himself up just a little bit so he can look at her without craning his neck or her having to crane hers. "A werewolf is...a man or woman who...can turn into a wolf, sort of. Like, a wolfman or wolfgirl, with a hairier face and eyes that glow; fangs, claws...we look like monsters, but not all of us are. I'm not a monster," he says softly.
Somehow, even though Katniss is probably grappling to understand an entirely foreign concept, the fact that he's told her lifts a weight of his shoulders that he hadn't actually realized he'd been carrying since Adam was given his memories. Now, if Adam told, oh well. No one that he cares about will be learning anything new. Buffy knows, Alcide knows, and now Katniss does. Everyone else is inconsequential; Derek doesn't give a shit about them.
"But I felt that part of myself again for the first time since I got here, so the wolf is still inside me somewhere, I just have to figure out how to access it again. It makes me stronger. Faster. I have better senses than humans. I could protect you better; protect Prim," he offers.