Adam doesn't discount anything Derek is saying. He knows how hard trust is. He knows that Derek is older and wiser and has been through a lot of crappy stuff, if his dreams are anything to go by now that he has some context for them. He knows that Derek, according to what he's said, has every reason to be cold and hard right now and that's exactly what Adam is getting off of him.
Unfortunately, Adam doesn't respond all that well to cold and hard. He closes off from it. Cold and hard is a step away from anger. When Derek's eyes narrow, Adam looks down again. Anger is a step away from violence and Adam still sees fangs and claws and red eyes clear as day. Adam knows all the warning signs leading up to that end. He's always prepared for it.
But Derek is right, it isn't his secret to tell, he supposes. At the same time, it's Ronan. Adam is left between a rock and a hard place, really. Concern for Ronan. Having someone else's secret, unwanted. There isn't a good answer here.
There had been a time when Adam kept all of his secrets close to his chest where Ronan is concerned, or where anyone is concerned for that matter. It wasn't too long ago, a matter of a year and a half maybe, since people started to figure his secrets out, his friends. Adam was new to having friends, even then. But there was a time when Ronan hadn't been completely trusted by Adam either, when no one had been trusted by him. This place has forced Adam to slide backwards into worse things, worse habits, than keeping a secret or two.
"I won't say anything." Partly because Derek thinks he knows what Adam will do and really, he doesn't know Adam. Because he wants Derek to see how trustworthy Ronan is, so that Ronan can make a friend there maybe. Because he wouldn't want anyone telling his own secrets. Because he understands trust and the tenuous nature of it, how difficult it is to find.
Adam stands up then, resting a hand on the back of the chair as he pushes it back in to the table. He doesn't look at Derek when he says the last. He's never been good at looking people in the eyes. But he wants to get away before anger turns into something else. "Don't hurt him."
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Unfortunately, Adam doesn't respond all that well to cold and hard. He closes off from it. Cold and hard is a step away from anger. When Derek's eyes narrow, Adam looks down again. Anger is a step away from violence and Adam still sees fangs and claws and red eyes clear as day. Adam knows all the warning signs leading up to that end. He's always prepared for it.
But Derek is right, it isn't his secret to tell, he supposes. At the same time, it's Ronan. Adam is left between a rock and a hard place, really. Concern for Ronan. Having someone else's secret, unwanted. There isn't a good answer here.
There had been a time when Adam kept all of his secrets close to his chest where Ronan is concerned, or where anyone is concerned for that matter. It wasn't too long ago, a matter of a year and a half maybe, since people started to figure his secrets out, his friends. Adam was new to having friends, even then. But there was a time when Ronan hadn't been completely trusted by Adam either, when no one had been trusted by him. This place has forced Adam to slide backwards into worse things, worse habits, than keeping a secret or two.
"I won't say anything." Partly because Derek thinks he knows what Adam will do and really, he doesn't know Adam. Because he wants Derek to see how trustworthy Ronan is, so that Ronan can make a friend there maybe. Because he wouldn't want anyone telling his own secrets. Because he understands trust and the tenuous nature of it, how difficult it is to find.
Adam stands up then, resting a hand on the back of the chair as he pushes it back in to the table. He doesn't look at Derek when he says the last. He's never been good at looking people in the eyes. But he wants to get away before anger turns into something else. "Don't hurt him."