This is a mistake. By now Katniss should know better. She should know better about trusting anyone, let alone forming any kind of connection. It's a mistake that she's made again and again, letting others in only to eventually lose them. Now that she's feeling herself again and not that gleeful girl who had been willing to talk and dance with anyone she encountered, she's more aware of the terrible reality that accompanies befriending others. She knows how stupid it can be.
But she hugs Derek anyway. It's not the same as being held in the middle of the night but it still helps. He's the only one who she's really trusted with her past. He knows why she needs this hug so badly. He understands. Derek doesn't push, not physically or emotionally. That's appreciated to. Everything that he's said and done today will ultimately go a long way in helping Katniss heal. Not that she realizes that right now.
Right now, Katniss just wants to be selfish. She wants to be selfish and seek strength in someone else. Derek doesn't seem to mind given the way he starts to stroke her hair and tucks her head underneath his chin. He's good at this. Hugging and holding and providing comfort. Maybe she should mention that to him. Eventually.
Talking doesn't make her feel better. Remembering doesn't either. Dr. Aurelius really hadn't accomplished all that much in District 13 or the couple of days she had actually seen him before coming here. He never seemed to expect her to talk and would usually use the time to get other things done. Derek's stressing talking, not as a doctor but as someone who's been in shoes similar to her own, but Katniss is stubborn. She still doesn't want to talk.
So instead, she nods her head against his chest. She understands that he'll be there in the future but he's here now. And though they probably should get back to work, she's in no hurry to return.
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But she hugs Derek anyway. It's not the same as being held in the middle of the night but it still helps. He's the only one who she's really trusted with her past. He knows why she needs this hug so badly. He understands. Derek doesn't push, not physically or emotionally. That's appreciated to. Everything that he's said and done today will ultimately go a long way in helping Katniss heal. Not that she realizes that right now.
Right now, Katniss just wants to be selfish. She wants to be selfish and seek strength in someone else. Derek doesn't seem to mind given the way he starts to stroke her hair and tucks her head underneath his chin. He's good at this. Hugging and holding and providing comfort. Maybe she should mention that to him. Eventually.
Talking doesn't make her feel better. Remembering doesn't either. Dr. Aurelius really hadn't accomplished all that much in District 13 or the couple of days she had actually seen him before coming here. He never seemed to expect her to talk and would usually use the time to get other things done. Derek's stressing talking, not as a doctor but as someone who's been in shoes similar to her own, but Katniss is stubborn. She still doesn't want to talk.
So instead, she nods her head against his chest. She understands that he'll be there in the future but he's here now. And though they probably should get back to work, she's in no hurry to return.